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Thanks to S&B, I'm finally winning in the "pursuit of elegance."

524 replies

LavenderHills · 17/01/2020 03:08

I'm about to write a very long post about how the Style and Beauty board has helped me revolutionise my wardrobe! There's no one else in my life who is really interested in this stuff, so I've got to debrief here Smile

I have always enjoyed the threads about how to look polished or "expensive", but in my own life I've been an impulsive bargain shopper and the result was a wardrobe full of clothes but a feeling of never looking as put-together as I wanted. Last year, I decided I was going to change this and take a planned, intentional approach to my wardrobe, spending more money on less items. I know the classic, polished look is not everyone's cup of tea, but it was what I wanted, and I also wanted to shop more sustainably and buy things that would last for years and not go out of style.

Starting at the beginning of July 2019, I allocated myself a weekly sum that I was allowed to spend on clothes an accessories (100AUD per week, so about £52), added up what the total would be over the course of a full year, and then created a list of everything I thought I would need- shoes, clothes, underwear etc- to feel polished and put together. I spent a lot of time researching exactly which items I wanted and how much they cost, put it all in a spreadsheet so I could see what the total was, and eventually ended up with a list that used up 90% of the overall budget, with 10% left over for "extra" items and a list of what I might want those extras to be (new sunglasses, for instance.)

A lot of the items on my list were "boring" things that I wouldn't impulse-purchase on a fun shopping trip, and were more expensive than I'd be able to buy if I was just spending my £52 per week in an ad hoc manner on whatever I pleased. Examples include really comfortable black leather ballet flats that I can walk for miles in, and a black leather shoulder bag with a zipper and the perfect strap length. I had to save my allocated money each week, and then make a purchase when I had accumulated enough to buy the next item on the list.

I'm now almost seven months into my year of planned purchases and I can't believe what a difference it's made! For the first time in my entire life, I feel like I have the appropriate things to wear for every occasion, and it's really easy to get dressed and feel polished and elegant. Instead of cheap, fun party dresses or eleven million cute tops that don't go with anything else I own, I can now get dressed for, say, a casual brunch in jeans and a t-shirt that fit me perfectly, are made out of quality fabrics and beautifully cut. I have the right casual shoes to go with them, and a bra underneath that fits properly. My bag is a lovely, soft leather and fits the occasion, my earrings are understated but solid gold, and it all works well together without me having to think much about it. All of the "boring" purchases have added up to a wardrobe that works well for my actual life.

I can't see myself ever going back. I no longer make impulse purchases, and I find that quite calming. I can walk past shops without being tempted by a cheap bargain pair of shoes, because I know it's not on my list and the things that ARE on my list are the things I really want and will use. I don't shop in sales unless something on my list goes on sale.

I'm already brainstorming what will go on the next list once this first twelve months is up. Having pared back my wardrobe and bought the basics I need, I feel like the next step is saving up for some investment pieces, maybe only buying three or four items a year once I've replaced things that have worn out. I'm dreaming of bespoke coats and antique earrings!

None of this is rocket science, but I wanted to share it in case anyone else is like me and wants a bit of inspiration about how to make a change.

OP posts:
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Sooverthemill · 24/01/2020 07:07

What a fab thread! Thanks @LavenderHills , given me lots of ideas. I lost myself a bit after some dreadful years and I'm finding my way back. Clothes help me hugely and I'm rediscovering my style I think

MulberryPeony · 24/01/2020 09:14

@Pajamagirl I think spending more on jackets and shoes can be worthwhile as you get so much use out of them. Of course if the cheaper one makes you just as confident as the more expensive then I’d buy the cheaper one and spend the rest on something else. I bought a coat from New Look for £15 and feel it has transformed my wardrobe!

Ninkanink · 24/01/2020 09:57

@Pajamagirl I say go for it, definitely! As long as it’s good quality fabric.

A good coat is the foundation of a great wardrobe, along with good footwear.

Link, please?

fazakerleyjackie · 24/01/2020 14:23

@Pyjamagirl
Go for it!
We always treat everyone else don't we?
Yet we are reluctant to splash out on ourselves.

I'm going to be kinder to myself this year, I've decided, thanks to the posters on here.

Pajamagirl · 24/01/2020 15:05

Can’t do the link but it from m and s
The more I think about it the more I am convinced I will wear it loads

Thanks to S&B, I'm finally winning in the "pursuit of elegance."
LunaTheCat · 24/01/2020 19:55

Lovely thread. I do the same thing -in my head - I admire your discipline and am going to check out your custom made t shirts.
There are a few NZ brands I love.
I love Juliette Hogan - very expensive but have good sales ( our PM wears a lot and always looks stunning which makes it hard if you are short and big of bust). The other is Kowtow made from ethically sourced cotton in Indiathink India- workers are all treated Really well and designer uses buttons not zips as can’t find ethical zips. Reasonable prices and beautiful to wear.

LavenderHills · 25/01/2020 09:35

Thanks for the NZ brand suggestions, @LunaTheCat I'm off to check out both of them. If only we could import your wonderful PM so easily!

OP posts:
LavenderHills · 25/01/2020 09:36

@Pajamagirl try it on and if you love it, buy it! It's worth spending extra money on the perfect thing if you're going to get lots of wear out of it.

OP posts:
nzeire · 28/01/2020 10:07

Cool!!!! I was thinking along similar lines... January, new underwear, February, some beautiful earrings, March, the perfect swimsuit, April, a new bag... and on to get the best of what I already wear. The greatest boots, the best fitting jeans, one new gorgeous dress a year etc.
Although... it’s still only January and I’ve done underwear, jewellery and jeans already :)
ITS ALL BEEN ON SALE!!!!

I’m in nz too, and we have such fantastic designers. The jeans are kowtow, the earrings zoe and Morgan and the underwear bendon factory!!!! I will stop now

Juliette hogan is fab, as is kate sylvester, kowtow, lonely, deadly ponies

nzeire · 28/01/2020 10:08

Oh and the pm was wearing a 27names the other day, it was stunning

LavenderHills · 02/02/2020 01:07

Thanks for all the NZ brand suggestions, @nzeire ! I'll definitely be checking some of these out.

OP posts:
LunaTheCat · 02/02/2020 07:42

Nzeire have you discovered Nisa? Fabulous organic cotton underwear and sleepwear. Made in NZ by former refuges - expensive outlay but very hard wearing and lasts ages!

Whattodowithaminute · 02/02/2020 08:38

Lovely thread and this kind of order is just what I need. I’ve had 9 years of babies, being fat, having limited resources to change wardrobe-this is on the brink of change... 2 stone down with another to go and investment in my wardrobe is what I need. Will start pinning and planning!

DarkMutterings · 08/02/2020 05:34

Bumping this to say thanks - this thread has truly inspired me to get my act together.

For February I have just ordered a Petite Parisian from Wanderers Travel, be here in a week. I've high hopes having been searching for a tan bag for ages and wasting money on ones that 'weren't quite right'.

I'm quite good at clothes but I'm guilty of stockpiling accessories I also cleared out piles of belts, bags, scarves and jewellery. Sold a couple of the more expensive bags online and with the funds allowed myself a second February purchase of one silver and one gold pair of stud earrings both from Monica Vinader. Bit chunkier than the brand you recommended but equally simple.

Everything else I've browsed online and piled into shipping carts and then not hit checkout. So feeling righteous.

Currently searching for the perfect black flat sandals - I've a big summer trip coming up and need to pack light so been searching for ages comfy to walk in but elegant enough to go out in. Any recommendations more than welcomed!

nzeire · 08/02/2020 08:17

Thanks Luna (also my sisters cats name, SPOOKY)... Will check it out!

Kowtow have gorgeous sandals. I really like my salt waters, the retro style I prefer

nzeire · 08/02/2020 08:19

NISA! What a fantastic organisation!
Everyone is getting undies as pressues from now on!

NotStayingIn · 08/02/2020 12:57

This is brilliant, I will be using your idea to create a coherent capsule wardrobe. I want to buy far less and have quality items that last longer. Think it will be better for the environment and for my sanity in the morning. So many clothes - nothing to wear!

LavenderHills · 09/02/2020 19:25

@DarkMutterings I'm delighted to hear your update! We may end up making the Petite Parisian the new "Mumsnet bag" Grin

Which Monika Vinader earrings did you buy? I'd love to see a link!

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polkadotpj · 09/02/2020 21:19

Love this thread. I’m a sales girl and need to change that up a bit. I love using the few expensive things I have. What a great idea!

DarkMutterings · 10/02/2020 00:38

These were the earrings - very pleased with them especially as on sale at the time.

www.monicavinader.com/hk/nura-teardrop-climber-earrings/gold-vermeil-nura-teardrop-climber-earrings?search=%2Fshop%2Fearrings

www.monicavinader.com/hk/linear-solo-stud-diamond-earrings/sterling-silver-linear-solo-stud-diamond-earrings-diamond?search=%2Fshop%2Fearrings

The funny thing is this thread starting me thinking about all the 'perfect' items I had in the past, things that I wore to death but then could never replace with anything quite as right. I had the perfect black top from Agnès B once, now I own a dozen not so perfect ones! Maybe my spread sheet should include those so I remember to go back and check those brands...

beenaharddaysnight · 10/02/2020 11:12

I don't get how you begin to know what you actually need though. And where to go for said product. Surely that's what everyone is searching for? it's not as simplistic as "I'll make a list and go and buy everything on it" ?

beenaharddaysnight · 10/02/2020 11:12

That's genuine question btw as I've been doing something similar but it's still not easy...

banivani · 10/02/2020 12:12

Been I have to wonder too. I've really enjoyed this thread (have lurked a bit) but don't quite know how people manage to "make a list". I've made lists, for example "3 good quality v-neck tops in X, Y, Z colours" but can I find them? Can I feckity.

BumblePan · 10/02/2020 14:22

Well done OP! That is a fantastic way to work out your wardrobe. For the last year I have tried to reduce impulse purchases ( all cheap high street) and focus on getting items I really love instead. Last Month I got a pair of lovely earrings. They were not expensive but I knew I could wear them with loads of outfits. I was delighted with myself, so I can imagine you must be absolutely overjoyed with a wardrobe transformation. Thanks for sharing with us and enjoy your new style.

MulberryPeony · 10/02/2020 15:28

@beenaharddaysnight is there an item in tour wardrobe that you really love? Say a new tan bag for example? Search for this item (either generic or brand) followed by the word outfit and pin whatever you fancy. Have a critical look at what you have pinned to find another item that appears more than a few times and you are missing (might be Breton T-shirt or khaki mac for example). That’s something that goes on your list. Repeat the search with new term and so on....

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