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Thanks to S&B, I'm finally winning in the "pursuit of elegance."

524 replies

LavenderHills · 17/01/2020 03:08

I'm about to write a very long post about how the Style and Beauty board has helped me revolutionise my wardrobe! There's no one else in my life who is really interested in this stuff, so I've got to debrief here Smile

I have always enjoyed the threads about how to look polished or "expensive", but in my own life I've been an impulsive bargain shopper and the result was a wardrobe full of clothes but a feeling of never looking as put-together as I wanted. Last year, I decided I was going to change this and take a planned, intentional approach to my wardrobe, spending more money on less items. I know the classic, polished look is not everyone's cup of tea, but it was what I wanted, and I also wanted to shop more sustainably and buy things that would last for years and not go out of style.

Starting at the beginning of July 2019, I allocated myself a weekly sum that I was allowed to spend on clothes an accessories (100AUD per week, so about £52), added up what the total would be over the course of a full year, and then created a list of everything I thought I would need- shoes, clothes, underwear etc- to feel polished and put together. I spent a lot of time researching exactly which items I wanted and how much they cost, put it all in a spreadsheet so I could see what the total was, and eventually ended up with a list that used up 90% of the overall budget, with 10% left over for "extra" items and a list of what I might want those extras to be (new sunglasses, for instance.)

A lot of the items on my list were "boring" things that I wouldn't impulse-purchase on a fun shopping trip, and were more expensive than I'd be able to buy if I was just spending my £52 per week in an ad hoc manner on whatever I pleased. Examples include really comfortable black leather ballet flats that I can walk for miles in, and a black leather shoulder bag with a zipper and the perfect strap length. I had to save my allocated money each week, and then make a purchase when I had accumulated enough to buy the next item on the list.

I'm now almost seven months into my year of planned purchases and I can't believe what a difference it's made! For the first time in my entire life, I feel like I have the appropriate things to wear for every occasion, and it's really easy to get dressed and feel polished and elegant. Instead of cheap, fun party dresses or eleven million cute tops that don't go with anything else I own, I can now get dressed for, say, a casual brunch in jeans and a t-shirt that fit me perfectly, are made out of quality fabrics and beautifully cut. I have the right casual shoes to go with them, and a bra underneath that fits properly. My bag is a lovely, soft leather and fits the occasion, my earrings are understated but solid gold, and it all works well together without me having to think much about it. All of the "boring" purchases have added up to a wardrobe that works well for my actual life.

I can't see myself ever going back. I no longer make impulse purchases, and I find that quite calming. I can walk past shops without being tempted by a cheap bargain pair of shoes, because I know it's not on my list and the things that ARE on my list are the things I really want and will use. I don't shop in sales unless something on my list goes on sale.

I'm already brainstorming what will go on the next list once this first twelve months is up. Having pared back my wardrobe and bought the basics I need, I feel like the next step is saving up for some investment pieces, maybe only buying three or four items a year once I've replaced things that have worn out. I'm dreaming of bespoke coats and antique earrings!

None of this is rocket science, but I wanted to share it in case anyone else is like me and wants a bit of inspiration about how to make a change.

OP posts:
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TheLightGetsIn · 17/01/2020 14:55

Good thread. I've been doing something similar for a while now, but buying as much as possible second hand, which adds to the thrill of the chase when looking for the perfect item. Grin That means that the few new purchases I make now (and these tend to be in the sales, or at least with some sort of discount code) tend to be much more considered.

I definitely don't have a capsule wardrobe, but I have found that keeping a list helps a lot. Mine is divided into categories and will describe exactly what I want and which outfits from my wardrobe it's designed for, to remind me not to go off-track.

I do think it helps a lot with this sort of thing if you're more personal style-driven than trend-driven. If your look is more classic than current then it's harder to look seriously dated either because very little in your wardrobe will be obviously high fashion of a certain era.

DragonflyInn · 17/01/2020 16:06

Inspirational op, thank you so much for posting! My wardrobe is full of random sale items / bargains. Will definitely try a more purposeful approach. Spreadsheets here I come!

LlamaofDrama · 17/01/2020 20:30

Wow! I'm kind of heading in the same direction but without the discipline. Maybe the discipline is what is needed...

I'll have to do some thinking, and I do love a spreadsheet Grin last time I had a really clear plan of something i wanted I looked for 2 years for a scarlet leather tote, big enough to hold my organised lunch so i carry only one bag and don't look like a bag lady. Had to be scarlet. Gave yo, I've got a black manmade fabric bag from monsoon. Right shape, does the job, not what i was looking for.

MrsFogi · 17/01/2020 20:51

Wow this is a great thread - thanks for sharing OP. If anyone has any suggestions of classic pieces in the UK please do post....

Vectura · 17/01/2020 21:06

I adore this OP. I felt all zen and calm just reading it.

I’ve got some weight to lose but once I’m done I’m coming back to this post and doing the exact same thing.

LavenderHills · 17/01/2020 23:33

@olderandwisernot I wonder if one of the clothing rental services could help with your work clothes? I think with some of them, you can pay a monthly subscription and get to choose three or four items a month.

www.google.com.au/amp/s/www.elle.com/uk/fashion/gmp29187954/rent-dress/

In answer to your question, I did feel a little bit like I wanted to be at my "best weight" before investing in clothes that would last. This didn't involve dramatic weight loss, I just wanted to be a couple of pounds slimmer after a busy and indulgent first half of the year. There were two handbags and several pairs of shoes on my list, as well as a pair of earrings, so I focussed on buying those first and waited to buy jeans, shirts etc a few months later when I was back to "normal." This might be an approach that works well for you, @Vectura ? Buying any non-clothing items first while you're working on losing weight.

I do think, though, that as much as possible we shouldn't be waiting for significant weight loss to buy clothes that make us look and feel good. If you invest in a nice pair of jeans that you're happy with in your current size, it's really not the end of the world if you need to buy a smaller size a year later. If they're in good condition you can probably sell them and get some of the money back, and it's worth it to feel well-dressed and comfortable even if you're not totally happy with your size.

OP posts:
LavenderHills · 17/01/2020 23:37

You're absolutely right about classic style, @TheLightGetsIn

It really helps that I'm not worried about my "boring" items being out of fashion in a year or two. Spending £££ on the perfect handbag or trench coat makes sense when you're intending to use them for 5+ years.

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OP posts:
MrsFogi · 18/01/2020 00:15

OP could you share your "list" of clothes/shoes/accessories (not what you bought but the list of 'items' you decided you needed to create a functioning wardrobe) so that those you have inspired can use it as a starting point?

chatwoo · 18/01/2020 01:45

Great post @LavenderHills! Love your approach.

I'm in Australia too and was really interested to see some of the brands you like, as I hadn't previously heard of all of them.

YeahNahWhal · 18/01/2020 02:24

The ballet flats, OP. Where did you get those? I'm in Aus and I'm desperate for a quality pair.

LavenderHills · 18/01/2020 03:31

@YeahNahWhal I actually got two pairs of ballet flats, one from Diana Ferrari Supersoft and one from Hush Puppies. Both look like a classic, flimsy ballet flat but actually have proper grippy soles and good padding and arch support.

OP posts:
Genehuntssexyhands · 18/01/2020 05:36

I love this thread.

I’ve been on Pinterest for a bit tonight and I’m
Going to try and work out a style that will suit me and be practical for having a newborn. I have a bit of baby weight to lose so that will stop me from rushing in and buying impulsively anyway so I will have to take a bit more time to be thoughtful about it.

LavenderHills · 18/01/2020 06:05

@MrsFogi I'm happy to share my list, with a couple of disclaimers!

First of all, these are all items that suit my personal style, figure and colouring. Other people should obviously work out their own style, and I really recommend the Pinterest method I talked about above.

Secondly, I already had a lot of tailored dresses and suits for work, so this exercise has most been about getting the right accessories for work, and improving my casual wardrobe, because I was feeling really frumpy at the weekends. I've been buying things to fill gaps in my wardrobe and make it all work better, so some of the items on the list are things I already had. I'll put an asterisk next to things I already owned, so you can see how I've gone about buying extra items to work with a pre-existing wardrobe.

Black leather casual handbag

Black laptop bag for work

Black ballet flats

Black leather sandals

Flat black leather ankle boots

White trainers

Comfortable black leather pumps for work

Good quality t-shirt bras in black, tan and white. (I went and got re-fitted, and it turned out I'd been wearing the wrong size bras.)

Pearl stud earrings*

Rose gold pearl drop earrings*

Small rose gold stud earrings

Rose gold chain necklace with subtle pendant*

High waisted black slim fit jeans

Hugh waisted blue slim fit jeans

Navy linen paper bag waist trousers

White high waisted wide legged trousers

Blue denim shorts*

Navy denim shorts*

Navy and white striped calf-length skirt in stretchy cotton*

V-neck t-shirts in black, white, olive and navy

Round neck t-shirts in black, white and navy*

White tailored shirt

Navy tailored shirt

Charcoal gray funnel neck wrap coat, knee length*

Olive green lightweight trench coat

Cashmere turtleneck jumpers in black, navy and charcoal*

Cashmere v-necked jumpers in black, navy and charcoal

This essentially covers a basic wardrobe, I think. I've kept dresses and suits for work, a few pretty tops and some fun summer dresses, but have largely cleared out a lot of stuff I wasn't wearing and didn't feel good in, and now that I've got the stuff on the list above, I feel like it's always easy to get dressed.

OP posts:
SplatPancake · 18/01/2020 07:12

Just adding the love for the custom T shirt idea - genius!!

coffeeagogo · 18/01/2020 07:18

I really want the custom T-shirt's - I am very tall and fit for me is a nightmare (tops always the wrong length) this would be a game changer!

Pajamagirl · 18/01/2020 07:42

Love this thread , looking to ‘ buy better ‘ and less this year .
I try to get my quality items in the sale / eBay but will splash out if it is the perfect thing .
Dp bought me a cross body leather bag for Christmas the other yr . It is perfect and I use it every day . When I asked him how he decided on this particular bag he said I listened to what you said you needed and applied it to my search ! Wow if only I could do that lol
FYI bag needed to be neutral to go with everything . He bought tan . It needed a zip fasten for secutity tick , it needed to be able to hold makeup kindle purse and mobile tick , it needed to be not too deep so I wouldn’t be scrabbling around at the bottom tick
I know you will ask it was a leather biba bag . Not high fashion but a good solid workhorse of a piece .
Maybe I should hand my purchase s to dp ! All joking aside it is about focusing on what you need and don’t be swayed by ‘ its ok ‘ stuff

Pajamagirl · 18/01/2020 07:43

Sorry that was long

LavenderHills · 18/01/2020 12:59

@SplatPancake and @coffeeagogo The custom t-shirt people do ship internationally. Apparently it costs about £12.

www.citizenwolf.com/pages/shipping-and-returns

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MulberryPeony · 18/01/2020 21:41

I have done similar with a ‘Pinterest wardrobe’ so I can get inspiration from what other people mix and match the classic items with too. It’s great when you want to find out how to incorporate a say red bag or shoes into your wardrobe.

albicocca · 18/01/2020 21:58

MulberryPeony and others, can I ask what you specifically search for on Pinterest to get whole outfits (rather than lots of images of one type of clothing)?

Ninkanink · 18/01/2020 22:03

khaki and camel outfit/red bag denim outfit/over the knee boots outfit/grey and burgundy outfit (basically whatever combo you’re looking for).

Purplecatshopaholic · 18/01/2020 22:10

Loving your work OP! I need to be more organised (although a spreadsheet is a step too far for me, lol), but better than I was. Have separate wardrobes for work stuff, and organise clothes for working week in advance, including shoes, jewellery, the lot, so don’t have to think in the morning. Had a couple of mahooosive clear outs too a few months ago.

Peachypips78 · 18/01/2020 22:34

Will you marry me? You had me at spreadsheet.

MrsAmaro · 19/01/2020 00:02

I live this thread. The idea of a yearly budget has really clicked for me. And I’ve just ordered the Wanderers Parisian bag in tan! They gave me a code for a little change purse too.

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