Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Mumsnet classics

Relive the funniest, most unforgettable threads. For a daily dose of Mumsnet’s best bits, sign up for Mumsnet's daily newsletter.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Thanks to S&B, I'm finally winning in the "pursuit of elegance."

524 replies

LavenderHills · 17/01/2020 03:08

I'm about to write a very long post about how the Style and Beauty board has helped me revolutionise my wardrobe! There's no one else in my life who is really interested in this stuff, so I've got to debrief here Smile

I have always enjoyed the threads about how to look polished or "expensive", but in my own life I've been an impulsive bargain shopper and the result was a wardrobe full of clothes but a feeling of never looking as put-together as I wanted. Last year, I decided I was going to change this and take a planned, intentional approach to my wardrobe, spending more money on less items. I know the classic, polished look is not everyone's cup of tea, but it was what I wanted, and I also wanted to shop more sustainably and buy things that would last for years and not go out of style.

Starting at the beginning of July 2019, I allocated myself a weekly sum that I was allowed to spend on clothes an accessories (100AUD per week, so about £52), added up what the total would be over the course of a full year, and then created a list of everything I thought I would need- shoes, clothes, underwear etc- to feel polished and put together. I spent a lot of time researching exactly which items I wanted and how much they cost, put it all in a spreadsheet so I could see what the total was, and eventually ended up with a list that used up 90% of the overall budget, with 10% left over for "extra" items and a list of what I might want those extras to be (new sunglasses, for instance.)

A lot of the items on my list were "boring" things that I wouldn't impulse-purchase on a fun shopping trip, and were more expensive than I'd be able to buy if I was just spending my £52 per week in an ad hoc manner on whatever I pleased. Examples include really comfortable black leather ballet flats that I can walk for miles in, and a black leather shoulder bag with a zipper and the perfect strap length. I had to save my allocated money each week, and then make a purchase when I had accumulated enough to buy the next item on the list.

I'm now almost seven months into my year of planned purchases and I can't believe what a difference it's made! For the first time in my entire life, I feel like I have the appropriate things to wear for every occasion, and it's really easy to get dressed and feel polished and elegant. Instead of cheap, fun party dresses or eleven million cute tops that don't go with anything else I own, I can now get dressed for, say, a casual brunch in jeans and a t-shirt that fit me perfectly, are made out of quality fabrics and beautifully cut. I have the right casual shoes to go with them, and a bra underneath that fits properly. My bag is a lovely, soft leather and fits the occasion, my earrings are understated but solid gold, and it all works well together without me having to think much about it. All of the "boring" purchases have added up to a wardrobe that works well for my actual life.

I can't see myself ever going back. I no longer make impulse purchases, and I find that quite calming. I can walk past shops without being tempted by a cheap bargain pair of shoes, because I know it's not on my list and the things that ARE on my list are the things I really want and will use. I don't shop in sales unless something on my list goes on sale.

I'm already brainstorming what will go on the next list once this first twelve months is up. Having pared back my wardrobe and bought the basics I need, I feel like the next step is saving up for some investment pieces, maybe only buying three or four items a year once I've replaced things that have worn out. I'm dreaming of bespoke coats and antique earrings!

None of this is rocket science, but I wanted to share it in case anyone else is like me and wants a bit of inspiration about how to make a change.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
22
KiteflyingKat · 21/01/2020 17:29

Love this thread OP.

I’ve been on a bit of a mission myself to regain some style and self-confidence post-baby, so I can relate to a lot of this.
My problem is resisting charity shop bargains (so many excellent charity shops where I live) but I’m getting better at being selective and have also tried to stick to a list and not buy stuff unless it’s on that list.

Needhelp0001 · 21/01/2020 22:23

LOVE THIS THREAD 👌

LavenderHills · 21/01/2020 22:36

@DonKeyshot I've looked at the Hush Puppies website and sadly, they don't seem to have mine anymore. I would have thought these would be pretty good, though?

hushpuppies.com.au/new/shop-all-new/womens-shoes/the-ballet-black/

The Diana Ferrari ones I have are these, and they're great.

www.dianaferrari.com.au/embark-black-leather.html

Are you anywhere near a Myer? That's where I bought both pairs, just went in when they were having 30% off ladies footwear and found the most comfortable ballet flats.

OP posts:
LavenderHills · 21/01/2020 22:40

For all those planning to revamp their wardrobe after they lose a bit of weight, from my experience I recommend making your list in advance and then buying any shoes, bags or accessories that are on it while you're waiting to buy clothes. You'll feel a bit more stylish and hopefully this will help motivate you Wink

OP posts:
LavenderHills · 21/01/2020 22:44

@fazakerleyjackie You are so very welcome!

Care to share what you've bought? I love seeing other people's choices.

OP posts:
CapnSquirrel · 21/01/2020 23:43

I love this OP. I've been attempting something similar recently. Been a SAHM for four years now and I really let things slide - but no more. I've already made a list of basics I want/need but am inspired by your spreadsheet and budgeting tips so will be pinching those!

Like others mentioned, I wanted to lose weight before investing in more expensive items, so what I've done is focus on health, skin and hair first - it wasn't just my wardrobe that was neglected!

I've lost a stone (one more to go til I'm back at my pre-baby weight). Drinking lots of water/exercising. I've followed the skincare threads on here and finally have a solid skincare routine nailed down. I've returned to having my hair highlighted etc. etc. and have just this week started buying some clothes from my list. Tempted to add your bag too, it's lovely.

Thanks for starting this thread, shall be following along for inspiration and motivation!

fazakerleyjackie · 22/01/2020 00:11

Lavender Blush
I never thought frumpy me would be posting here!

I needed a good casual coat, I'm an older woman, retired early for health reasons, and spend a lot of time outdoors/casual dress. I've got some good formal wear outfits still stashed away.

It's day to day wear, I need to buy.

Unfortunately, I've begun to resemble Hayley from Coronation Street,( if anyone remembers her, in her red anorak.)

So, instead, I've gone for this, for a change: ( Puts on brave face)
uk.originalmontgomery.com/collections/womens-duffle-coats/products/womens-lined-pea-coat-reefer-jacket

Also, thanks to a poster on here, I've discovered Lands End and ordered several white t shirts.

Oh, and I picked up a navy cashmere cardigan in T K Maxx, for £20.

So a bit of an outlay, but I had some cash set aside from Christmas.

Need some casual jeans at the end of the month. Too old for denim. Size 12 and 5 foot. So still looking in.

fazakerleyjackie · 22/01/2020 00:14

The pea coat I bought was navy, but I think I linked to the charcoal one?
New at this!

LavenderHills · 22/01/2020 01:13

@fazakerleyjackie You did link the charcoal coat, but I just clicked on the navy one and it looks gorgeous! Warm and practical, and won't go out of style. Good for you!

Cashmere cardigan sounds lovely, also.

OP posts:
LavenderHills · 22/01/2020 01:28

This post is for those who have said they're in Australia or NZ. If any of you have pale skin like mine, that was never intended for this hemisphere, here are some sun-protection strategies I've worked out:

I've discovered the brand Solbarj, which specialises in clothing and accessories made out of special SPF 50+ fabric. I have a white button up shirt from them, that I throw on over my other clothes when out in the sun, on a car journey etc. It looks like a normal shirt but is much more protective. Solbari also does sun-protection umbrellas; mine lives in my handbag and comes out whenever I'm walking from place to place in the sun. Chinese grandmothers and I nod at each other from under our umbrellas in recognition of our mutual good sense Grin

https://www.solbari.com

I also think it's really worth paying a stupid amount of money to invest in a hat that you LOVE and will actually wear. Yosuzi does goooooorgeous ones (they're based in London but ship internationally and there are also some Australian stockists.)

https://www.yosuzi.com

For myself, I have an unusually large head Blush, so took the plunge and went to a milliner to get a stylish Panama hat made just for me. It is perfect and was well worth the $350 AUD.

Lastly, invest in skincare products with SPF that you like enough to actually wear every day!

Every Australian girl I know is obsessed with Go-To skincare and their zinc-based daily moisturiser, and I like to use the SPF 50+ CC cream from It Cosmetics on top of that to up the sun protection factor and even out my skin tone. It lasts ages, too.

https://gotoskincare.com

https://www.sephora.com.au/products/it-cosmetics-your-skin-but-better-cc-plus-cream-spf-50/v/tan?dxid=CjwKCAiA35rxBRAWEiwADqB37-GJfyGgf3kWdceSWO3TKxlUdrtb0skeNTIUU9XMq7o2GvRgVl-dxoC9ssQAvDDBwE&dxgaid=CjwKCAiA35rxBRAWEiwADqB37-GJfyGgf3kWdceSWO3TKxlUdrtb0skeNTIUU9XMq7o2GvRgVl-dxoC9ssQAvDDBwE&gclid=CjwKCAiA35rxBRAWEiwADqB37-GJfyGgf3kWdceSWO3TKxlUdrtb0skeNTIUU9XMq7o2GvRgVl-dxoC9ssQAvDD_BwE

OP posts:
Elllllle · 22/01/2020 03:54

I'm in oz, and have only read about Go-To skincare in marketing type articles. That zinc moisturizer has an spf of only 15! Do u find also that the It cosmetics CC transfers as soon as you sweat? It goes patchy on me at first hint of summer weather

LavenderHills · 22/01/2020 04:26

@Elllllle I love Go-To! Been using it for years, and I may or may not be in a Facebook group devoted to discussing it Blush

The SPF is lower than I'd like, but I like it as a base layer because it's actually hydrating and doesn't make me break out. I'm waiting not-so-patiently for them to bring out the same cream with a higher SPF...

I find that the It Cosmetics CC cream stays put with no problems, but everyone's skin is different. Kiehls has a similar one that you might like better? I used to use it before I found my current one. I think Clinique has a good one, too.

OP posts:
SD1978 · 22/01/2020 05:19

@LavenderHills - thanks. It sure where you are but there is a place in Melbourne which does jeans, in Brunswick. You pick your jeans and they alter them I store that day- they are $50 and fitted to you- and done well!! Very interested in checking them out and will definitely try trenery. I never buy anything here- always import it!

LavenderHills · 22/01/2020 05:35

@SD1978 The jeans place sounds amazing! Do you remember what it's called?

OP posts:
Barbararara · 22/01/2020 06:20

Brilliant thread. I’ve realised that I have mentally assigned my clothing budget to “interesting pieces” and then neglect the basics like good bras because I have no proper budget for them.

theyoungishman · 22/01/2020 06:53

OP -thank you so much for your thread!! you're doing exactly what I want to do this year, I started by having my colours done late 2019 with a style consultantation. Now I'm ready for the shopping!! I've already found since having my colours done that I'm a much more mindful shopper,
and can easily pass by what I might have considered purchasing before.
I'm in Aus as well, I'm interested in the pants you bought -can you confirm which ones they were exactly from thisissaday website?
I also travel a lot for work long haul so I'm looking for something elegant but that can take long journeys and still look nice. No ironing.. amazing!
In terms of brands in Aus i tend to go for elk, country road or seed.
Have picked up some great Gorman pieces at charity shops as well.
Thanks so much

Elllllle · 22/01/2020 08:04

@LavenderHills I'm not really interested in a cc cream, thanks though. I gave the IT one a go based on reviews and the high spf but I'm often on the go and outside with kids etc and it didnt work for me. If you want a decent spf with good hydration as a makeup base, I love the lrp melt in cream which you can buy at priceline. I dont know much about Go-to but find Zoe FB to be a bit of a pita!

IMO for the pp who mentioned it, Gorman used to be great but it has totally lost direction and I'm worried it is falling into a bit of a hole. The prints and styles are really meh these days or way too fashiony for the brand. They seem to have weekly sales too which is never a good sign.

Alwayscheerful · 22/01/2020 08:57

Enjoying this thread, more helpful than the princess type threads. I wanted to say thank you, i have been doing a similar thing with my wardrobe but in a less structured way.
I will share some ideas when I get a second.

LavenderHills · 22/01/2020 09:13

@theyoungishman I bought the Slow It Down Pant and the Pack It Up Pant; both have been great. I also bought, and love, the Something Tailored shirt.

I'm also keen to try the Cut It Out Pant or the Turn It Up Pant, but neither were in stock when I was ordering. I think they're in stock now, though.

I've just discovered Elk and love it! I haven't made any purchases yet (because of the list) but I'm keeping an eye on them for list number two Smile

OP posts:
LavenderHills · 22/01/2020 09:14

@Alwayscheerful You're so welcome! Thanks for the feedback Thanks

OP posts:
MrsDrudge · 22/01/2020 21:08

Thank you for your brilliant post - I am inspired to have a reorganisation and plan a smart capsule wardrobe. Have been wanting to for years but didn’t know where to start.

Ninkanink · 22/01/2020 21:41

@fazakerleyjackie I love that coat! I’m very pleased to have been made aware of another company whose coats I can lust after, and with some historical provenance too! It’ll be a while before I can buy another, though! Never mind, one can dream...

@LavenderHills thanks for the link to Yosuzi, that’s another company I’ll keep an eye on. 👍

fazakerleyjackie · 22/01/2020 22:09

Thanks @Ninkanink. I'm amazed at myself posting on here! Grin
Such a good place to pick up hints and lovely supportive people too!

Jamonfirst · 23/01/2020 22:45

Great links thanks 😊 if anyone has any tips/links for the short and rotund now....Crown Grin

Pajamagirl · 24/01/2020 04:45

@fazakerleyjackie you made me laugh at ‘ Hayley ‘ from coronation street , I have my Hayley moments too
I have decide to buy a plain black jacket .. I have seen what looks to be a perfect one ( tho not tried it in yet ) but it is double !! The price of most others . £99 compared to approx £45
Ladies .. talk me into it please

Swipe left for the next trending thread