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Thanks to S&B, I'm finally winning in the "pursuit of elegance."

524 replies

LavenderHills · 17/01/2020 03:08

I'm about to write a very long post about how the Style and Beauty board has helped me revolutionise my wardrobe! There's no one else in my life who is really interested in this stuff, so I've got to debrief here Smile

I have always enjoyed the threads about how to look polished or "expensive", but in my own life I've been an impulsive bargain shopper and the result was a wardrobe full of clothes but a feeling of never looking as put-together as I wanted. Last year, I decided I was going to change this and take a planned, intentional approach to my wardrobe, spending more money on less items. I know the classic, polished look is not everyone's cup of tea, but it was what I wanted, and I also wanted to shop more sustainably and buy things that would last for years and not go out of style.

Starting at the beginning of July 2019, I allocated myself a weekly sum that I was allowed to spend on clothes an accessories (100AUD per week, so about £52), added up what the total would be over the course of a full year, and then created a list of everything I thought I would need- shoes, clothes, underwear etc- to feel polished and put together. I spent a lot of time researching exactly which items I wanted and how much they cost, put it all in a spreadsheet so I could see what the total was, and eventually ended up with a list that used up 90% of the overall budget, with 10% left over for "extra" items and a list of what I might want those extras to be (new sunglasses, for instance.)

A lot of the items on my list were "boring" things that I wouldn't impulse-purchase on a fun shopping trip, and were more expensive than I'd be able to buy if I was just spending my £52 per week in an ad hoc manner on whatever I pleased. Examples include really comfortable black leather ballet flats that I can walk for miles in, and a black leather shoulder bag with a zipper and the perfect strap length. I had to save my allocated money each week, and then make a purchase when I had accumulated enough to buy the next item on the list.

I'm now almost seven months into my year of planned purchases and I can't believe what a difference it's made! For the first time in my entire life, I feel like I have the appropriate things to wear for every occasion, and it's really easy to get dressed and feel polished and elegant. Instead of cheap, fun party dresses or eleven million cute tops that don't go with anything else I own, I can now get dressed for, say, a casual brunch in jeans and a t-shirt that fit me perfectly, are made out of quality fabrics and beautifully cut. I have the right casual shoes to go with them, and a bra underneath that fits properly. My bag is a lovely, soft leather and fits the occasion, my earrings are understated but solid gold, and it all works well together without me having to think much about it. All of the "boring" purchases have added up to a wardrobe that works well for my actual life.

I can't see myself ever going back. I no longer make impulse purchases, and I find that quite calming. I can walk past shops without being tempted by a cheap bargain pair of shoes, because I know it's not on my list and the things that ARE on my list are the things I really want and will use. I don't shop in sales unless something on my list goes on sale.

I'm already brainstorming what will go on the next list once this first twelve months is up. Having pared back my wardrobe and bought the basics I need, I feel like the next step is saving up for some investment pieces, maybe only buying three or four items a year once I've replaced things that have worn out. I'm dreaming of bespoke coats and antique earrings!

None of this is rocket science, but I wanted to share it in case anyone else is like me and wants a bit of inspiration about how to make a change.

OP posts:
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abstractprojection · 10/02/2020 17:08

I wasn't as organised as the OP but I did something similar. Having the right footwear, bag and jackets or coats makes a really big difference. So many times I put an outfit or dress back because I didn't have the right things to go with it.

My usual staples

Black leather wedge sandles
Black trainers
Black leather ankle boots mid heel
Black leather high heel pumps
Black leather biker jacket
Yellow leather handbag
Stack of black t-shirts

To go with jeans, black trousers and an array of skirts and dresses

And then

Trench coat
Burgundy ankle boats high heal
Brown handbag (from Morocco)

To go with a couple of skirts and dresses that don't go so well with black, and to have a distinctive change for weekends

bohemia14 · 11/02/2020 08:29

This thread really is inspirational. I've started to make a list but don't want to buy too many clothes at the moment as I'm trying to lose some weight.

For February I've bought -

  • a simple but nice black make up bag from Kiko to replace the one I'm currently using which was a freebie with make up purchases. It feels more sophisticated and stylish and has prompted me to be ruthless about what make up I carry with me.
  • some silver coloured dangly earrings. Not expensive as I lose earrings very easily but handy to have with me to swap out for my stud earrings if going for after work drinks.

Some small and inexpensive steps that make me feel I'm heading in the right direction.

I'm currently deliberating over the Petite Parisian bag.....

beenaharddaysnight · 11/02/2020 11:25

Mulberry do you mean I should do that on Pinterest? Or just in google?

DarkMutterings · 11/02/2020 14:45

So Petit Parisian arrived, I love it. Bit slouchy and leather initially looked creased but hung it out on a door knob to drop out and definitely a keeper.

@beenaharddaysnight I think you have to find what works for you. I'm not a big Pinterest or spreadsheet person. When I cleared out my wardrobe, I made a mental note of what was missing like "I'd wear those clothes but I really need a tan bag...", Then I'd be super specific about what my perfect version was... I need a tan bag with long shoulder straps, a zip, lining (why do so many bags these days not have lining?), ideally two inside pockets....
I've got about 6 things I need and in my head I know exactly the criteria so I've promised myself I won't buy them until I find the 'one'.
And so instead of pin interest I looked on all the online shops I knew, I searched by google shopping and images, if I found something that I liked I'd search that specifically and find reviews, prices etc. I guess you could say the hours I wasted browsing on line retailers for random stuff I now use to look specifically just for a very few things.
If you only buy one thing a month (using everything of your normal monthly spend just on that one thing) you actually spend a huge time researching the perfect bag, black sandal, white shirt.

Btw whoever said V neck jersey try Baujken the Ella top, expensive but last a long time and very flattering, they often have good sales of you hang on.

bohemia14 · 11/02/2020 15:31

@DarkMutterings thanks for the Baukjen suggestion; I've just had a look at their website and they have some nice things.

BettysHotpot1 · 12/02/2020 12:23

I love this thread! I've had this niggling feeling for a few years that this is what I'd love to do. Buy better things less often. I've started this morning, buying two leather handbags, one black, one tan, at greatly reduced sale prices online

I had a younger colleague years ago who always looked pulled-together without seemingly much effort. I realised a few years later that her day-to-day clothes were various shades of black, cream or khaki, with tan leather bags & jackets. She wore colour only for special occasions - when she had to buy a dress for a wedding for example.

I will definitely look at some of the websites suggested by other posters. Thanks for all the suggestions!

LavenderHills · 12/02/2020 23:33

@beenaharddaysnight maybe we can help you?

Are there particular women whose style you really admire, or outfits you've seen that you love? If you post some pictures, posters might be able to suggest things for your "list."

The advice from @DarkMutterings is very good, also!

OP posts:
LavenderHills · 12/02/2020 23:34

And @DarkMutterings both of those pairs of earrings you posted look lovely! Elegant but still interesting.

OP posts:
citygirl1961 · 13/02/2020 23:57

Hi, I find this interesting too. I have my own style of wardrobe in that I like the retro look so I have various tunics and dresses from Apricot that have a 'sixties' look and I have them in different colours and patterns. They have accumulated over the years and some are looking a bit bobbly. I wear these mainly in the winter with leggings or thick tights and a long cardigan. I also have a pair of jeans and some jeggings and often wear a just above the knee skirt with a jumper and thick tights.

I don't have separate work clothes as I mainly go out straight from work when I do go out. I just have one or two dresses for special occasions.

In Summer I wear those Next linen shift dresses and I have them in various colours/patterns. Sometimes I will wear a long dress or skirt and a t-shirt.

I have two handbags for day time (one leather - and the lining has gone) and a Kipling bag which I am using all the time now. Its so handy and useful but not very dressy. I have a tote bag that I carry my lunch and laptop etc in and a small leather bag for occasions. My shoes are minimal too. A couple of pairs of sandals for summer and a couple of pairs of court shoes for winter, plus a couple of pairs of boots.

I would like to reduce my wardrobe further but don't know I could create a capsule wardrobe with the look I favour. Does anyone have any ideas? Do you have a separate work wardrobe? What about coats? I have two winter coats (a duffle coat and a parka), a trench coat and a denim jacket for the summer.

Celledora · 14/02/2020 00:18

Love this, thanks so much for sharing!

DarkMutterings · 14/02/2020 05:29

@citygirl1961 I think the theory works regardless of your preferred style. Clear out the stuff you don't wear/has seen better days, make a list of what's missing and then really focus on replacements. Even start with one or two areas like bags and shoes - get rid of the ones you don't wear or are broken and work out what's missing.

I work in an agency so my work wardrobe is sort of smart casual I go for jeans/trousers, silk camis or shirts and a fitted jacket, sometimes boots or vans, sometimes heels. I do have some things I only tend to wear for work but they weren't bought specifically for work, it just defaults that way (if that makes sense). When I cleared out I realised I had a 4 pairs of black trousers of which i genuinely wear one all the time, occasionally a second pair so I cleared out the other two and made a mental note that as much as I love wearing black trousers I really really don't need to buy any more!

invisibleoldwoman · 14/02/2020 06:13

Thanks so much for this thread OP.

theyoungishman · 14/02/2020 08:22

OP I'm just rereading this thread and looking at the petite Parisian bag- my last ten bag is literally falling apart now. Did you also consider the Santorini? that one looks really nice as well!!
I'm undecided between these two!

Creweneck · 14/02/2020 09:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DrFoxtrot · 14/02/2020 19:09

Brilliant thread! I'm late to it but I'm inspired now Smile

citygirl1961 · 14/02/2020 21:55

Darkmutterings, thank you for your good advice. I think my wardrobe needs a bit of an overhaul as in throwing away the stuff that's had its day and clearing out stuff I don't wear, though its hard to throw out a lovely dress I bought for my nephew's wedding that I've only worn once since so far. I guess its difficult to keep a capsule wardrobe that contains clothes you just wear for occasions.

Annalore · 15/02/2020 08:34

Thank you for this thread @LavenderHills, I've been following with interest.

Like others on here, I am now inspired to give my (vast) wardrobe a complete overhaul. I never throw anything away, so it may be quite a while before I am able to report back. Grin

woodhill · 15/02/2020 11:23

I'm interested too. List is a good idea.

bohemia14 · 15/02/2020 11:48

Thanks for the recommendation of the Baukjen Ella top. I ordered one and it arrived this morning and I'm very impressed with the quality. It's also a nice length and very flattering.

ComeBackPeterComeBackPaul · 15/02/2020 16:32

Excellent thread with great advice. I really like the idea of taking a fixed amount and planning it over the year. I have a monthly "allowance" but am off to recalculate a "yearly" one which makes the bigger buys seem possible! Thanks all.

Vickeymum · 16/02/2020 23:50

I am bit fussy about the tote bags specially when I am in charge of with my 3 year old Bub. As I need more space for my stuff as well for him too in my bag for my small shopping trips. I like always handmade products and not pricey as well. I got my products from vintage leather and I find the products are awesome and not pricey. I love my tote bag for this company.
www.vintageleather.com.au/collections/leather-tote

LavenderHills · 17/02/2020 05:34

@theyoungishman the Santorini DOES look nice, but I went with the Petite Parisian because I was looking for something very simple, without embellishments. Did you end up deciding on one or the other?

OP posts:
LavenderHills · 17/02/2020 05:38

@Creweneck the trousseau idea would be delightful! Can you imagine receiving something like that as a 21-year-old? (I'd still be thrilled at 35!)

OP posts:
discotils · 17/02/2020 15:13

Thanks so much for all this info, i am definately going to be making a list for myself and hopefully de-clutter. I love the idea of having a fixed amount to spend a year feels good to have some sort of control.

A couple of things firstly i have come across the best high wait quality jeans that are super soft, stretchy and decent thick but not too thick material they are the asos sculpt jeans. (www.asos.com) Also Ive found a lovely affordable but quality jewellery brand these earrings i bought from them are sort of similar to the ones @LavenderHills pointed out www.demiandco.com/products/star-stud-earrings-christmas

DonKeyshot · 17/02/2020 21:11

I have a pair of very comfy Hush Puppies loafers/deck shoes but hadn't considered their ballet flats - thanks for the tip, OP. For those in the UK, HP currently have a sale www.hushpuppies.co.uk/search?type=product&q=ballet

I've bought the black Abby Row and also the Heather Bow in wine. The soles of Abby Row are far more discreet than the almost tractor treads in the photo and the insole is cushioned. I'm hopeful they'll last for a while.

Heather Bow doesn't have a particularly well padded insole but this style has a half inch hidden lift and what looks to be a durable sole.

I have a Radley Finch Street in black which is not dissimilar shape to the Petite Parisian. It's a tad smaller than the PP but is capacious plus I prefer bags with one handle/strap. This bag was sold on qvc.com and, although it's no longer available from qvc, a quick google will produce clips of the show and a tour of the bag.

The Radley Wood Street is a dead ringer for the PP, but it is hard to find.

My latest acquistion are a pair of Polki diamond studs set in white gold (I'm not a fan of yellow gold). As the diamonds are irregular shapes they're a tad quirky as they're not a perfectly matched pair.

I have a selection of high value earrings for grand occasions but, as I am an habitual earring loser, I prefer not to spend more than £100 or so on those I wear everyday. While it may go against the grain of the spend more/buy less ethos of this thread, there are so many convincing faux diamond studs on the market that no-one will know you paid £20-30 for what looks like a carat or two of Harry Winston's finest. Smile

I'd like to put in a word for belts. Slim leather belts don't break the bank, but can break the monotony of neutrals. A belt in the latest or coming season's hot colour can make a classic style look like high fashion, or at least as if you've kept up to speed with the latest trends.

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