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Thanks to S&B, I'm finally winning in the "pursuit of elegance."

524 replies

LavenderHills · 17/01/2020 03:08

I'm about to write a very long post about how the Style and Beauty board has helped me revolutionise my wardrobe! There's no one else in my life who is really interested in this stuff, so I've got to debrief here Smile

I have always enjoyed the threads about how to look polished or "expensive", but in my own life I've been an impulsive bargain shopper and the result was a wardrobe full of clothes but a feeling of never looking as put-together as I wanted. Last year, I decided I was going to change this and take a planned, intentional approach to my wardrobe, spending more money on less items. I know the classic, polished look is not everyone's cup of tea, but it was what I wanted, and I also wanted to shop more sustainably and buy things that would last for years and not go out of style.

Starting at the beginning of July 2019, I allocated myself a weekly sum that I was allowed to spend on clothes an accessories (100AUD per week, so about £52), added up what the total would be over the course of a full year, and then created a list of everything I thought I would need- shoes, clothes, underwear etc- to feel polished and put together. I spent a lot of time researching exactly which items I wanted and how much they cost, put it all in a spreadsheet so I could see what the total was, and eventually ended up with a list that used up 90% of the overall budget, with 10% left over for "extra" items and a list of what I might want those extras to be (new sunglasses, for instance.)

A lot of the items on my list were "boring" things that I wouldn't impulse-purchase on a fun shopping trip, and were more expensive than I'd be able to buy if I was just spending my £52 per week in an ad hoc manner on whatever I pleased. Examples include really comfortable black leather ballet flats that I can walk for miles in, and a black leather shoulder bag with a zipper and the perfect strap length. I had to save my allocated money each week, and then make a purchase when I had accumulated enough to buy the next item on the list.

I'm now almost seven months into my year of planned purchases and I can't believe what a difference it's made! For the first time in my entire life, I feel like I have the appropriate things to wear for every occasion, and it's really easy to get dressed and feel polished and elegant. Instead of cheap, fun party dresses or eleven million cute tops that don't go with anything else I own, I can now get dressed for, say, a casual brunch in jeans and a t-shirt that fit me perfectly, are made out of quality fabrics and beautifully cut. I have the right casual shoes to go with them, and a bra underneath that fits properly. My bag is a lovely, soft leather and fits the occasion, my earrings are understated but solid gold, and it all works well together without me having to think much about it. All of the "boring" purchases have added up to a wardrobe that works well for my actual life.

I can't see myself ever going back. I no longer make impulse purchases, and I find that quite calming. I can walk past shops without being tempted by a cheap bargain pair of shoes, because I know it's not on my list and the things that ARE on my list are the things I really want and will use. I don't shop in sales unless something on my list goes on sale.

I'm already brainstorming what will go on the next list once this first twelve months is up. Having pared back my wardrobe and bought the basics I need, I feel like the next step is saving up for some investment pieces, maybe only buying three or four items a year once I've replaced things that have worn out. I'm dreaming of bespoke coats and antique earrings!

None of this is rocket science, but I wanted to share it in case anyone else is like me and wants a bit of inspiration about how to make a change.

OP posts:
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MulberryPeony · 19/01/2020 08:47

@albicocca add the word outfit at the end i.e. red shoes outfit. Sometimes you might get different results with wine, burgundy, rust etc.

LavenderHills · 19/01/2020 09:50

@MrsAmaro you won't regret it! The bag is SO lovely. Did you go with the Petite Parisian, or the full-size one? I got the petite because the larger one seemed too big, even for someone like me, who carries her whole life in her handbag.

OP posts:
LavenderHills · 19/01/2020 09:54

@albicocca Are there any women whose style you particularly admire? It helps if you search their name + outfit, and then Pinterest learns what kind of things you like and suggests similar content.

This is why my entire Pinterest feed is now full of pictures of Caroline de Maigret and Leia Sfez Blush

OP posts:
MrsAmaro · 19/01/2020 10:05

Yes I got the petite too, the full size one seems like it could be a weekend trip bag doesn’t it!

Brianna83 · 19/01/2020 10:19

Oh I just love this. Like a PP I am about to give birth and have been living in oversized/maternity clothes. During the pregnancy I've also moved to another country so had a HUGE clear out and really don't know what I'm going to wear post baby! You've inspired me OP! I'm off to get my laptop out to start a spreadsheet!

bohemia14 · 19/01/2020 10:47

Great thread. I'm in awe of you as this is how I'd like to be. I'm tempted to order the petite Parisian bag.

Apileofballyhoo · 19/01/2020 11:02

Great thread, OP.

Pajamagirl · 19/01/2020 18:52

I have set up a pin interest account , currently Claudia winkleman is my style inspiration although she has different colouring to me I like her slightly quirky style ... what a great idea
Thanks Op

Genehuntssexyhands · 20/01/2020 03:54

How did you set up your spreadsheet op?
I’m currently working out my budget as am on mat leave (and self employed mat leave on that - it’s pants!) but I’m going to have a clear out and eBay a load of stuff to kick start my new wardrobe funds.

I think I’m going to go with a kind of polished casual if such a thing exists, as with newborn DS I’m going to be dressing down for a while but still want to look together.

What sort of styles are everyone else going for?

SD1978 · 20/01/2020 04:25

Very interested in this as I have never found any brands in Aus I liked- I buy everything from the UK- crew clothing, joules, etc. will be checking out your recommended brands ASAP!

HeronLanyon · 20/01/2020 04:39

I found your post inspirational too. Lots of truths about how many of us shop for clothes and end up with lots rarely worn/not quite ‘right’. I’ve always known some of the more expensive things I’ve ha shave been worth every penny as they last and wear well and are simply lovely to wear. I don’t always remember the other side of that coin - that cheaper impulse buys are very rarely worth it.
I feel like starting to rethink my wardrobe and spending today !

SpeckledyHen · 20/01/2020 05:40

Fabulous thread OP. Any chance of a pic of you ?

Apolloanddaphne · 20/01/2020 05:55

What a great idea. I am trying to lose weight so maybe in the meantime I can research clothes and accessories, sort through my wardrobe and make a list. I don't need work clothes as I am retired but my casual clothes are pretty tired looking now and I live in jeggings and oversize sweaters. It's not a very polished look!

professionalnomad · 20/01/2020 07:27

This is such a great idea. Thank you for sharing!

libertyonhertravels · 20/01/2020 09:15

Great thread lavender. I'm in NZ so will be checking out some of those brands.

Purplewithred · 20/01/2020 10:10

For everyone else lusting after some Citizenwolf t-shirts here's a link to a bra size converter mspomelo.com/bra-school/international-bra-size-conversion-table/

LavenderHills · 20/01/2020 11:16

@SD1978 there are some lovely Australian brands! I'm quite partial to Trenery, or for something a bit bolder, have you checked out Gorman? Many of my Australian friends are obsessed with it. Also, it's worth looking at Nudie Jeans, which makes beautiful, flattering jeans out of organic Australian cotton (with ethical labour practices!)

OP posts:
LavenderHills · 20/01/2020 11:20

@Genehuntssexyhands it's a very basic spreadsheet. I'm definitely not an Excel wiz! I just listed each item, divided up into categories (casual clothes, shoes, accessories etc) and listed the cost. I keep a running total of how much I've spent and how much I've got left to spend in the year, and if I get an item for a cheaper price than originally listed, I amend the total sum. It means there's a good incentive to shop around for the best deal on something or sometimes wait for it to go on sale, because I can see how I've "given" myself extra money to go towards something on my "optional extras" list.
Reading over all that, it sounds very nerdy, but it's giving me great satisfaction Grin

OP posts:
LavenderHills · 20/01/2020 11:22

@SpeckledyHen I don't really want to identify myself, but I'll try to post a photo of an outfit this week with my head cut off!

OP posts:
LavenderHills · 20/01/2020 11:26

I'm so happy people are enjoying this and finding it inspiring. The reaction I get at home is "That's wonderful, darling. I'm glad it's making you happy" Hmm and most of my friends have their own unique style but don't seem to need to think so much about it...

Maybe those who want to try the spreadsheet thing could share their lists and/or their Pinterest inspiration ideas? I'd love to see them!

OP posts:
CoupeCourte · 20/01/2020 12:18

OP this is brilliant. I'm in Aus so very grateful for your brand recommendations so far, and will be watching the thread closely! Might even get into Pinterest if it can be this useful...

DonKeyshot · 20/01/2020 15:13

Hush Puppies seem to have a bewildering range of ballet flats, some of which don't look sturdy or hard wearing. Which style did you opt for, OP?

GallopingGreen · 20/01/2020 22:33

Placemarking- you have really inspired me to do similar OP. And I love all the suggestions you have made. This is a really practical guide to getting that well put together look!

fazakerleyjackie · 21/01/2020 15:44

Never posted in this section.Ever, 'till now.
You've really inspired me. and I wanted to say thanks.
This has been a great help.
I've bought some decent stuff this week.Grin

IndecentFeminist · 21/01/2020 17:26

I was going to do something similar once I have lost some a lot of weight. I have a capsule-esque wardrobe of stuff that all goes together now, but am holding off buying anything else until I am.slimmer. 3.3kg off this week!

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