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Thanks to S&B, I'm finally winning in the "pursuit of elegance."

524 replies

LavenderHills · 17/01/2020 03:08

I'm about to write a very long post about how the Style and Beauty board has helped me revolutionise my wardrobe! There's no one else in my life who is really interested in this stuff, so I've got to debrief here Smile

I have always enjoyed the threads about how to look polished or "expensive", but in my own life I've been an impulsive bargain shopper and the result was a wardrobe full of clothes but a feeling of never looking as put-together as I wanted. Last year, I decided I was going to change this and take a planned, intentional approach to my wardrobe, spending more money on less items. I know the classic, polished look is not everyone's cup of tea, but it was what I wanted, and I also wanted to shop more sustainably and buy things that would last for years and not go out of style.

Starting at the beginning of July 2019, I allocated myself a weekly sum that I was allowed to spend on clothes an accessories (100AUD per week, so about £52), added up what the total would be over the course of a full year, and then created a list of everything I thought I would need- shoes, clothes, underwear etc- to feel polished and put together. I spent a lot of time researching exactly which items I wanted and how much they cost, put it all in a spreadsheet so I could see what the total was, and eventually ended up with a list that used up 90% of the overall budget, with 10% left over for "extra" items and a list of what I might want those extras to be (new sunglasses, for instance.)

A lot of the items on my list were "boring" things that I wouldn't impulse-purchase on a fun shopping trip, and were more expensive than I'd be able to buy if I was just spending my £52 per week in an ad hoc manner on whatever I pleased. Examples include really comfortable black leather ballet flats that I can walk for miles in, and a black leather shoulder bag with a zipper and the perfect strap length. I had to save my allocated money each week, and then make a purchase when I had accumulated enough to buy the next item on the list.

I'm now almost seven months into my year of planned purchases and I can't believe what a difference it's made! For the first time in my entire life, I feel like I have the appropriate things to wear for every occasion, and it's really easy to get dressed and feel polished and elegant. Instead of cheap, fun party dresses or eleven million cute tops that don't go with anything else I own, I can now get dressed for, say, a casual brunch in jeans and a t-shirt that fit me perfectly, are made out of quality fabrics and beautifully cut. I have the right casual shoes to go with them, and a bra underneath that fits properly. My bag is a lovely, soft leather and fits the occasion, my earrings are understated but solid gold, and it all works well together without me having to think much about it. All of the "boring" purchases have added up to a wardrobe that works well for my actual life.

I can't see myself ever going back. I no longer make impulse purchases, and I find that quite calming. I can walk past shops without being tempted by a cheap bargain pair of shoes, because I know it's not on my list and the things that ARE on my list are the things I really want and will use. I don't shop in sales unless something on my list goes on sale.

I'm already brainstorming what will go on the next list once this first twelve months is up. Having pared back my wardrobe and bought the basics I need, I feel like the next step is saving up for some investment pieces, maybe only buying three or four items a year once I've replaced things that have worn out. I'm dreaming of bespoke coats and antique earrings!

None of this is rocket science, but I wanted to share it in case anyone else is like me and wants a bit of inspiration about how to make a change.

OP posts:
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skippydo · 15/01/2024 08:09

So Sunday was logging clothes from Google searches to match what I currently have (genius tip).

Already I'm looking at repeats of hundreds of black jeans but none are quite right...

It did occur to me for the cost of 10-50£ each I could have brought at least one perfect pair....

New way of thinking for 'always wanting a bargain' me

BigSkies2022 · 15/01/2024 18:02

Happy new year Stylistas! January is a good time to review/renounce/revive/refresh is it not?

I totted up my expenditure on clothes last year, all recorded on my spreadsheet of desire. I spent £1074, which included some boring but essential things like new socks, new bras, an undershirt, a belt and a body suit, and some alteration costs for existing items (to make them more wearable and useful). So I'm aiming to come in around the same this year.

Top of my list so far:
Black trainers (Adidas Superba?)
Summer dress (Roxane Baines)
Black cashmere polo neck (to replace existing one which is falling into old and shabby category - I like Eric Bompard, and plan to get DH to buy one for me for a birthday present, so it doesn't count against my budget, ha!)
Fancy loafers (Russell & Bromley)
Black spring/summerweight trousers (Mother of Pearl/Studio Nicolson).

That will probably take me to my limit, without even doing things like buying replacement walking shoes, or getting the warm, weatherproof, puffa coat I have needed, but not wanted, for ages.

I am also really liking Cush Jumbo's shirt/shortsleeved knitwear combos on Criminal Investigation (Apple), so I may find myself seduced in that direction a bit, since I don't have shortsleeved jumpers in my wardrobe currently. Maybe a candidate for a charity/thrift shop buy, to try it out.

NellyCortado · 12/03/2024 07:27

Love this thread. Inspiring and helpful. Thanks!

IfItWereMe · 14/03/2024 04:37

This is exactly the thread I need in my life right now. I’m making changes, saving some money every week, and I’m determined to do it properly. I’m not ready to jump in just yet but this thread is my blueprint.

HystericalDinosaur · 26/05/2024 06:46

Wondering if the OP or anyone else would be willing to share a snapshot of their wardrobe spreadsheet for those of us inspired but daunted. 🤣
Really love this thread, any spreadsheet tips much appreciated!

Elllllle · 26/05/2024 12:30

As much as this thread was interesting back in its day, the OP was an Aussie posting in 2020 .... the concept itself is great but I'm sure there are some amazing British/European stylists out there who would love to contribute and offer some good alternatives. The citizen wolf tshirts for example are overly expensive (and frankly a little bit shit) as are the wanderer bags (orange and cheap leather).

MrsJackThornton · 26/05/2024 13:08

Elllllle · 26/05/2024 12:30

As much as this thread was interesting back in its day, the OP was an Aussie posting in 2020 .... the concept itself is great but I'm sure there are some amazing British/European stylists out there who would love to contribute and offer some good alternatives. The citizen wolf tshirts for example are overly expensive (and frankly a little bit shit) as are the wanderer bags (orange and cheap leather).

Do you own the citizen wolf shirts or the wanderer bag?

TheWeeDonkeyFella · 26/05/2024 13:44

Elllllle · 26/05/2024 12:30

As much as this thread was interesting back in its day, the OP was an Aussie posting in 2020 .... the concept itself is great but I'm sure there are some amazing British/European stylists out there who would love to contribute and offer some good alternatives. The citizen wolf tshirts for example are overly expensive (and frankly a little bit shit) as are the wanderer bags (orange and cheap leather).

I still like revisiting the thread, especially the wardrobe lists/ideas which are generic items not brand specific.

Perhaps you could start your own thread based on UK/European stylists.

crochetmonkey74 · 26/05/2024 15:06

Me too , I love re reading it and working out my own spreadsheet ideas

SqueakyDinosaur · 26/05/2024 17:34

And the OP's entire point is about buying things that aren't especially up to the minute, but last and are classic.

IndecentFeminist · 26/05/2024 18:53

The Wanderer bags are great quality, I've got a couple (not the same style) and they're lovely.

LucindaLucinda · 07/06/2024 12:52

I own too many Wanderer bags thanks to this thread, and they are lovely quality.

Roadmansbae · 07/06/2024 17:07

Salivating over Wanderer bag. I’ll have to hide it somewhere, my husband is sick of bags taking over the house.

11oclockrock · 18/06/2024 08:47

Can anyone recommend a UK version of citizen wolf?

Healthyalltheway · 11/10/2024 09:53

Thanks @LavenderHills for this great thread. I am in Australia and sick in bed today so have gone through this and am inspired.

What corporate / office wardrobe recommendations do you have?

To add to the list of excellent amazing leather bags I can vouch for the Vestirsi bella bags. Australian company. Amazing italian leather, 2 sizes and can be a normal bag or a backpack. the larger size is amazing for work conferences and I can fit in laptop, ipad, water, notes book etc.

I have the black and chocolate in regular and the black in x large. They come in a range of beautiful colours.

shopvestirsi.com/products/bella-midnight-2-in-1-convertible-backpack-tote?variant=45640678670561

Elllllle · 13/10/2024 08:41

MrsJackThornton · 26/05/2024 13:08

Do you own the citizen wolf shirts or the wanderer bag?

Yes both. The citizen wolf tee was particularly disappointing. Ive never worn it putside the house. The wanderer bag is orange, like I said. I mean I still use it, but would not recommend in that tan colour. The black or other colours might be better.

Onlycakesshouldhavetiers · 14/10/2024 06:51

Oh no, was going to get as Citizrn Wolf top too,

Elllllle · 25/10/2024 14:09

TheWeeDonkeyFella · 26/05/2024 13:44

I still like revisiting the thread, especially the wardrobe lists/ideas which are generic items not brand specific.

Perhaps you could start your own thread based on UK/European stylists.

I live in Australia. I get the point of the thread and really truly appreciate what the OP was saying. Neither of these brands are bought widely over here, and I really wish there was a thread (or a similar website) for women in Australia to share fashion tips. I do still buy stuff from the UK (lived there for many years) and enjoy the beauty tips on mumsnet.

Fullofthejoysofspring · 29/12/2024 13:09

Love this thread.

Booksandsport · 06/01/2025 01:23

Love this thread!

CaveMum · 06/01/2025 09:19

I am embracing Vinted and it's many offerings in my own pursuit of elegance. I've also been drawn to vintage style clothes (40s/50s mainly) and have fallen in love with The Pretty Dress Company. I didn't want to commit to buying an expensive dress without knowing what the sizing and quality was like so have picked up 3 different dresses of theirs on Vinted for under £12 each! I've only received one so far and am very happy with it so onwards and upwards with my vintage-ish journey!

Dragonfly97 · 13/01/2025 09:35

Following! 😁

happytobemrsg · 19/01/2025 15:37

Loved this thread when it started & currently re-reading. I’m 8 months post partum after DS3 & working on losing the last half a stone before I return to work in May. Virtually none of my wardrobe fits anymore (weight has been redistributed 🤦🏻‍♀️) but I have had a good think about what I loved to wear before I got pregnant. I need to be realistic too - I like dresses but I just don’t reach for them. I’m always cold at work so I need layers.

I’m currently writing up a list of everything I need to buy which I’ll share on the thread once I’m fixed on it. It’s tempting to go crazy in the sales but given my new body shape I want to 1. Wait until I’m at my goal weight & 2. Actually go in the shops & try things on. I want to buy more quality materials such as pure cotton T-shirts or cashmere jumpers. It’s exciting!

One thing I did buy in the sales, however, was a pair of black ankle boots. My old ones started to fall apart & gave me blisters. I bought the Farrah boots from Hobbs (mentioned a while back on another thread). I’m really happy with them & they ticked all the boxes - black leather, long enough to wear crew socks, minimal hardwear (only a rose gold zip pull on the side - wondering if I can replace with a black one? Is that a thing?), laces, size zip, mid chunkiness (not too slim, not too masculine/work boot). Very happy.

Gintime74 · 31/01/2025 11:50

I have also been re reading this. Menopause has reaped havoc with my weight and self esteem but i am on the up. HRT seems to be working for me, have been much better at exercising twice a week and making sure i walk every day. I am commiting to giving up the home hair dye and occasional cut and i have booked in 8 weekly hair appointments. Also a 6 weekly facial. Today i am going to go through my wardrobe and be ruthless! Time for less items but more quality and timeless pieces.

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