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Thanks to S&B, I'm finally winning in the "pursuit of elegance."

524 replies

LavenderHills · 17/01/2020 03:08

I'm about to write a very long post about how the Style and Beauty board has helped me revolutionise my wardrobe! There's no one else in my life who is really interested in this stuff, so I've got to debrief here Smile

I have always enjoyed the threads about how to look polished or "expensive", but in my own life I've been an impulsive bargain shopper and the result was a wardrobe full of clothes but a feeling of never looking as put-together as I wanted. Last year, I decided I was going to change this and take a planned, intentional approach to my wardrobe, spending more money on less items. I know the classic, polished look is not everyone's cup of tea, but it was what I wanted, and I also wanted to shop more sustainably and buy things that would last for years and not go out of style.

Starting at the beginning of July 2019, I allocated myself a weekly sum that I was allowed to spend on clothes an accessories (100AUD per week, so about £52), added up what the total would be over the course of a full year, and then created a list of everything I thought I would need- shoes, clothes, underwear etc- to feel polished and put together. I spent a lot of time researching exactly which items I wanted and how much they cost, put it all in a spreadsheet so I could see what the total was, and eventually ended up with a list that used up 90% of the overall budget, with 10% left over for "extra" items and a list of what I might want those extras to be (new sunglasses, for instance.)

A lot of the items on my list were "boring" things that I wouldn't impulse-purchase on a fun shopping trip, and were more expensive than I'd be able to buy if I was just spending my £52 per week in an ad hoc manner on whatever I pleased. Examples include really comfortable black leather ballet flats that I can walk for miles in, and a black leather shoulder bag with a zipper and the perfect strap length. I had to save my allocated money each week, and then make a purchase when I had accumulated enough to buy the next item on the list.

I'm now almost seven months into my year of planned purchases and I can't believe what a difference it's made! For the first time in my entire life, I feel like I have the appropriate things to wear for every occasion, and it's really easy to get dressed and feel polished and elegant. Instead of cheap, fun party dresses or eleven million cute tops that don't go with anything else I own, I can now get dressed for, say, a casual brunch in jeans and a t-shirt that fit me perfectly, are made out of quality fabrics and beautifully cut. I have the right casual shoes to go with them, and a bra underneath that fits properly. My bag is a lovely, soft leather and fits the occasion, my earrings are understated but solid gold, and it all works well together without me having to think much about it. All of the "boring" purchases have added up to a wardrobe that works well for my actual life.

I can't see myself ever going back. I no longer make impulse purchases, and I find that quite calming. I can walk past shops without being tempted by a cheap bargain pair of shoes, because I know it's not on my list and the things that ARE on my list are the things I really want and will use. I don't shop in sales unless something on my list goes on sale.

I'm already brainstorming what will go on the next list once this first twelve months is up. Having pared back my wardrobe and bought the basics I need, I feel like the next step is saving up for some investment pieces, maybe only buying three or four items a year once I've replaced things that have worn out. I'm dreaming of bespoke coats and antique earrings!

None of this is rocket science, but I wanted to share it in case anyone else is like me and wants a bit of inspiration about how to make a change.

OP posts:
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Feff7 · 06/02/2022 12:33

Thanks,MadameSapphire! What a lovely welcome!💖

RubyRedRoses · 18/02/2022 14:43

I love this thread and I am trying to emulate it by buying more classical pieces instead of being trend led. I'm doing a low buy year for fashion, and am allowing myself five items this year.

So far, I have bought a blush pink cardigan for over jeans and a white tshirt and a denim midi dress.

I'm trying to stick to a more neutral colour palette as well and I am decluttering my wardrobe all the time. Hoping for a more minimalist, but still elegant wardrobe by the time 2023 rolls around

Justthisonce12 · 11/12/2022 21:45

@RubyRedRoses how’s the capsule plan coming along?

MadameSapphire · 14/12/2022 12:09

Just gently bumping this as would love this great thread to continue… 😊

Bumblebeefriend · 14/12/2022 16:42

Bumping too

Tintime2022 · 14/12/2022 20:56

Okay million dollar question for those of you who have managed low spend no spend only buying what’s on the list years this year, how the hell do you do it?
I do not need another stitch of clothing. If I did not buy anything else until the day I died, including underwear, frankly. So far this season I have purchased an extra long long tall Sally coat that goes literally down to my ankles, it’s like a bodybag and a pair of moon boots. Absolutely gorgeous loads of sweaty Betty base layers, a black evening dress that was absolutely essential. Boot cut jeans times three because one cannot be seen in Skinnys any more apparently.

Honestly, I think I need some sort of therapy or treatment.

SqueakyDinosaur · 14/12/2022 22:52

@Tintime2022 that's great if you love those things, but did you actually NEED them? Like you didn't have anything to meet those needs?

BigSkies2022 · 15/12/2022 20:39

I find the shops being full of tat that is not worthy of gracing my excellent backside is helpful when it comes to not buying, Tintime. There are things I would love to have, and which would go with items I already own ( e.g a proper ladylike swishy wool midi-skirt, Balenciaga and The Row are doing nice ones, if you have a grand lying about ; paired with a cashmere rollneck that is both slouchy and fitted - I've seen one I want by Eric Bompard for £280, so will have to save up until, ooh, probably 2024, before I can afford this one outfit that I have in my head, which will make me look like a more cheerful Victoria Beckham) and keeping those aspirations in mind help me stay on track. I almost certainly will not buy the skirt at that price point, but having that really excellent ideal in mind will stop me compromising, and encourage me to hold out for the really good thing.

Lockdown did accelerate a tendency to not-buying-but-using-what-I-have, helped by losing about 8kg, which let me press some old friends back into use. It's easier for me not to buy new if I generally feel well and comfortable in my skin.

Do you love what you have and do you wear the items regularly? If so, what's the problem? but if you have loads of items that you just don't wear, maybe you could happily spend some time selecting outfits, working out what really works for you and then selling/donating the rest? nice task for January?

SqueakyDinosaur · 15/12/2022 23:51

"It's easier for me not to buy new if I generally feel well and comfortable in my skin."

This. This 100%. At the moment I feel like my body and me are at war - largely due to various ailments, mostly arthritis and the after-effects of cancer. I have so many clothes that I love and cannot bring myself to ditch, because I can't find things that make me feel equally good.

Pigtailsandall · 16/12/2022 10:10

I love this thread too. I've really moved towards simpler style of clothing this year, and I think it's paying off. I feel like it is easier to achieve a "good" look and a less frumpy one (I know people hate the word frumpy here but frumpy is exactly how I often felt). Large part has been culling badly-fitting clothes, fussy clothes (like the ones that need something under them to work/needs to be tied with a belt/always gapes open/ needs tons of care) and things that were just not my style anymore. I also restricted the amount of pattern and colour - that's not to say I completely gave up on them, but tried to opt for more neutrals and gave up on colours that just didn't suit me (I'm looking at you, pastels)

I bought a fair few clothes, but I gave up more and I feel a bit more put together

HelenHywater · 16/12/2022 11:02

I love this thread too - it's pretty inspirational!

My wardrobe is full of nice clothes that don't go with anything else I buy. With a huge excess of jeans and no accessories at all. So after another sale buying spree where I bought MORE jeans, I decided this is going to be my approach to clothes buying too.

I'm ill at the moment, so started my pinterest board yesterday. My style icon is Giovanna Battaglia I discovered ! I clearly need to find someone a bit more relatable to me. (I also like Linda V Wright but she is a lot older then me). Any tips for stylish people among that ilk that I can look at would be welcome. I need to wear fitted clothes I think, not flouncy or baggy.

I also liked Emmanuel Alt back in the day....

BigSkies2022 · 16/12/2022 13:44

I had never heard of Giovanna Battaglia, so googled and. - wow. That is a very ritzy look. Not exactly walking the dog or shopping in Aldi (not that I think you shouldn't dress nicely for your more mundane activities). Does your life include a lot of first nights in Cannes, @HelenHywater ????

happytobemrsg · 16/12/2022 13:44

I have somewhat of a seasonal capsule wardrobe. I stick to particular colours (neutrals: black, off white, mink; colours: greens, corals, cornflower blue) & I tend to wear dark skinnies (black jeans or leather) or light mom jeans (light blue, beige, sage green, coral) with slouchy jumpers with a French tuck.

I only buy something new if it goes with other items in my wardrobe so I get a good cost per wear. Usually this is too easy because all of the colours mix and match quite well. But a couple of weeks ago I bought a straight longline velvet blazer & I didn’t take the tag off until I knew I could wear it dressy & casually. I’ve worn it 3x in the last 2 weeks so I’m pretty happy with it!

Thanks to S&B, I'm finally winning in the "pursuit of elegance."
HelenHywater · 16/12/2022 17:02

BigSkies2022 · 16/12/2022 13:44

I had never heard of Giovanna Battaglia, so googled and. - wow. That is a very ritzy look. Not exactly walking the dog or shopping in Aldi (not that I think you shouldn't dress nicely for your more mundane activities). Does your life include a lot of first nights in Cannes, @HelenHywater ????

Not at all! Even her down to earth looks (when she's relaxing on a yacht maybe) are way too dressy for my life! I like the shapes and colours though so will try to channel that. Possibly.

BigSkies2022 · 16/12/2022 20:34

@SqueakyDinosaur - I'm sorry you are feeling less than your best at present. Hope you feel better soon.

dickdarstardlymuttley · 17/12/2022 15:33

Goals!

Newlifenewme · 18/12/2022 14:18

Thank you for the great thread @LavenderHills i stumbled across it by accident and it turned out to be just what I needed! It would be great to get an update of what you’ve added to your wardrobe this year.

I’ve just lost 28lbs and I need to lose a bit more so I’m not going all out, but I am definitely making a Pinterest board and list of things my wardrobe is going to need. I’m going to start with bags, shoes jewellery etc that can look elegant with what I have now and what I want to own in the future.

I think the budget idea is great too. This will ensure I don’t over spend but have enough to buy quality pieces and avoid those tat sales in the high street. I hope more people join for 2023 and we can all share what changes we are making because I think this idea is fantastic :)

Gufo · 18/12/2022 17:38

I'd love to join for 2023 - I've lost 1.5 stone and got a new job, so it's time to up my game. I've put a few things on Vinted - and bought a few more!! I've also fired up my old Pinterest board. I have a bit more weight to lose, and work is mainly from home, so I'm limiting myself for now, but trying to be thoughtful about what I keep, sell and buy.

inglese · 18/12/2022 21:29

.

notanicepersonapparently · 18/12/2022 21:57

I loved this thread when I read it at the start of this year. I did try to follow the advice although I didn’t manage to stick to it. I cleared out a lot of stuff - evening dresses, fitted jackets, cocktail dresses, heels I couldn’t walk in and gave them away. A lot had been designer stuff bought in sales which I would realistically hardly ever wear yet probably filled 3/4 of my wardrobe space.
I made a list of what I actually needed to wear, which was jeans, some cashmere knitwear, classic mac, navy pea coat and I’ve worn them a lot.. Some things I’ve not yet found like a pair of comfortable black, block heeled leather sandals. Some things I bought because they were classic pieces but I’ve not had much wear out of them. These were the white silk Sézane blouse and camisole and the classic round neck t shirt that we are all supposed to have in our capsule wardrobe. The t shirts just don’t suit me (wide shoulders and full boobs) and the blouse seemed too delicate to wear in the daytime. I also bought a black leather belt to wear with jeans which filled a gap in my wardrobe which I wouldn’t have bought before because it is a bit of a dull purchase.
i wasn’t all good though. I also bought some one hit wonders. Some trousers whose fabric isn’t robust enough for daily wear (would be ok in an office but not for housework!) and a dress which I probably will not wear again (see I have a marmite dress thread).
Seeing this thread revived has been great and has reminded me to return to this more planned approach because it is worth it.

HystericalDinosaur · 19/12/2022 16:00

This thread is amazing, thank you. I love my new wardrobe spreadsheet.

Would anyone feel comfortable sharing their Pinterest boards or search terms?

Have tried all sorts of combinations and just don't seem to be getting anything relevant. Particularly need casual jeans outfits with long sleeves, but am also overhauling everything so any ideas welcome.

Weaselstoatferret · 28/12/2022 20:55

Revisiting this thread with a name change as loved it and it really helped me sort out my wardrobe.

I am still following the same principle and have managed to update my casual wardrobe and a few fancier outfits too. My aim for this year is to buy a few things for dinner/drinks out as that seems to catch me out when I have plans.

Current list is

Black cashmere slouchy jumper
Pale pink or beige satin midi skirt
Black skinny coated trousers
Some kind of midi dress but not quite sure what yet
Black or grey ankle boots with a heel

My style is probably pretty dull to most people so not sure my Pinterest search terms would be much use but I look for things like chunky boot outfit or striped top outfit.

ApolloandDaphne · 28/12/2022 21:00

I feel like I am losing style wise. I am fat and 60. Hit me with your best style tips.

Sling · 28/12/2022 23:34

So glad this thread is reactivated. I was on it when it started, lost it, and always remembered it and wished I could find it again!

I need to get back on this, I've moved to a hot country and I'm very much a 'cold weather dresser' - summer isn't usually a good time for me style wise so in a hot country I'm feeling very lost and unstylish. I need to find the hot weather equivalent of wide legged wool trousers, slouchy jumpers, beautiful coats and boots!

Reading back through the thread has reminded me to go back to basics, clear out what's not working and start a list.

Thanks to LavenderHills for starting it, and those who've kept it going ♥️

Weaselstoatferret · 29/12/2022 12:18

@Sling I also struggle with summer dressing but that sounds like a really good opportunity to start a fresh.

Not for everyone but my summer wardrobe this year was Birkenstocks, wide leg culottes from Hush, neutral t shirts anda few floaty maxi and midi dresses. Basic but suits me and as I like in Scotland our summer is short so doesn't usually require lots of warm weather clothes. In a hot country I imagine you will need to expand that.