Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Mumsnet classics

Relive the funniest, most unforgettable threads. For a daily dose of Mumsnet’s best bits, sign up for Mumsnet's daily newsletter.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Thanks to S&B, I'm finally winning in the "pursuit of elegance."

524 replies

LavenderHills · 17/01/2020 03:08

I'm about to write a very long post about how the Style and Beauty board has helped me revolutionise my wardrobe! There's no one else in my life who is really interested in this stuff, so I've got to debrief here Smile

I have always enjoyed the threads about how to look polished or "expensive", but in my own life I've been an impulsive bargain shopper and the result was a wardrobe full of clothes but a feeling of never looking as put-together as I wanted. Last year, I decided I was going to change this and take a planned, intentional approach to my wardrobe, spending more money on less items. I know the classic, polished look is not everyone's cup of tea, but it was what I wanted, and I also wanted to shop more sustainably and buy things that would last for years and not go out of style.

Starting at the beginning of July 2019, I allocated myself a weekly sum that I was allowed to spend on clothes an accessories (100AUD per week, so about £52), added up what the total would be over the course of a full year, and then created a list of everything I thought I would need- shoes, clothes, underwear etc- to feel polished and put together. I spent a lot of time researching exactly which items I wanted and how much they cost, put it all in a spreadsheet so I could see what the total was, and eventually ended up with a list that used up 90% of the overall budget, with 10% left over for "extra" items and a list of what I might want those extras to be (new sunglasses, for instance.)

A lot of the items on my list were "boring" things that I wouldn't impulse-purchase on a fun shopping trip, and were more expensive than I'd be able to buy if I was just spending my £52 per week in an ad hoc manner on whatever I pleased. Examples include really comfortable black leather ballet flats that I can walk for miles in, and a black leather shoulder bag with a zipper and the perfect strap length. I had to save my allocated money each week, and then make a purchase when I had accumulated enough to buy the next item on the list.

I'm now almost seven months into my year of planned purchases and I can't believe what a difference it's made! For the first time in my entire life, I feel like I have the appropriate things to wear for every occasion, and it's really easy to get dressed and feel polished and elegant. Instead of cheap, fun party dresses or eleven million cute tops that don't go with anything else I own, I can now get dressed for, say, a casual brunch in jeans and a t-shirt that fit me perfectly, are made out of quality fabrics and beautifully cut. I have the right casual shoes to go with them, and a bra underneath that fits properly. My bag is a lovely, soft leather and fits the occasion, my earrings are understated but solid gold, and it all works well together without me having to think much about it. All of the "boring" purchases have added up to a wardrobe that works well for my actual life.

I can't see myself ever going back. I no longer make impulse purchases, and I find that quite calming. I can walk past shops without being tempted by a cheap bargain pair of shoes, because I know it's not on my list and the things that ARE on my list are the things I really want and will use. I don't shop in sales unless something on my list goes on sale.

I'm already brainstorming what will go on the next list once this first twelve months is up. Having pared back my wardrobe and bought the basics I need, I feel like the next step is saving up for some investment pieces, maybe only buying three or four items a year once I've replaced things that have worn out. I'm dreaming of bespoke coats and antique earrings!

None of this is rocket science, but I wanted to share it in case anyone else is like me and wants a bit of inspiration about how to make a change.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
22
Newlifenewme · 29/12/2022 13:37

I’ve just bought the petite Parisian bag in the sale in tan. I can’t wait for it to come. I’ve just bought some leather trousers, plain white T-shirts and black heeled boots too.

next on my list is a coat. I have a black wool coat which I love but I’d like a cream or light camel coloured coat too. Ideally knee length with a belt. Any suggestions welcome.

I also need some new bras as I’ve lost a bit of weight. I’ve been looking for a bit of push up with silk. Need some in cream and in black, again suggestions welcome.

so glad this thread is back

Sling · 29/12/2022 16:41

Thanks @Weaselstoatferret. It's the land of floaty strappy dresses abd sandals, which is very not my style. But I like idea of culottes. I shall investigate....

haribonoyoudont · 29/12/2022 17:44

@Sling perhaps the hot-weather version of what you like to wear? viz: wide leg linen trousers; fitted linen / cotton top (thick straps or short sleeves) and some very nice smart leather sandals?

Sling · 29/12/2022 18:33

@haribonoyoudont good point, I think I drifted to the norm here and drifted away from me.

nicethings · 30/12/2022 07:40

happytobemrsberg where do you get your jumpers and knitwear from they look lovely...

happytobemrsg · 30/12/2022 21:23

@nicethings Thank you! Mainly Zara & H&M.

nicethings · 30/12/2022 22:26

happytobemrsberg thank you 😊

LavenderHills · 31/12/2022 06:09

Hello, OP here! I've just realised this thread has been reactivated and it's been lovely reading through all the new posts Smile

I'm on holidays at the moment and looking around my hotel room, I'm travelling with lots of the items I mentioned in my early posts, three years ago now. The Petite Parisian Bag is still going strong (and the Knomo London one still gets used for work every week), I am currently wearing the Sarah and Sebastian earrings, and I wore my white Citizen Wolf t-shirt yesterday. Having a white t-shirt that's still fit to be seen after more than three years of frequent wear is quite astonishing, I think.

In the last two years I've experienced significant professional advancement and a corresponding increase in budget (although the downside is that I almost never have time to look at Mumsnet for S&B tips anymore and it took me months to realise this thread was active againSad) and I think it's worth noting that I haven't felt any sudden urge to go out and replace all my basics with more expensive things. I'm not wearing the Citizen Wolf t-shirt because I can't replace it, but because it's STILL A GREAT SHIRT. It's nice to be able to come back after a few years and say the system definitely works!

OP posts:
WhenisitmyturntobePM · 31/12/2022 08:54

Great to hear from you @LavenderHills! I have been a silent lurker for years. I always do a full read through immediately after Christmas to make more conscious choices in the January sales. With each passing year my wardrobe gets better quality, easier to manage and less changeable.

I’d love to hear people’s priorities for this year. For me it’s getting a great tailored coat, after years of puffas and parkas. And I want to add a couple of more versatile trousers to my collection (at the moment I am straight leg trousers, black trousers or nothing). I’d like some more relaxed fitting jeans and perhaps some culottes.

Bumblebeefriend · 31/12/2022 13:37

Would love to hear what you have lined up to buy this year @LavenderHills and everyone else. I am still looking for the perfect cashmere jumper and would like a pair of decent jeans. Recently bought a velvet top online but haven't received it yet - I have been much better this year at not keeping items that I am not 100% happy with.

Pearl664 · 31/12/2022 19:47

Oh my goodness. This was one of my favourite Mumsnet threads ever but I could never find it again. I still look at the Petite Parisien and covet it. Thanks so much for the update OP. Happy new year!

CaveMum · 31/12/2022 20:19

I do love this thread! I still feel like I’m struggling to find my style - 41 years old with 2 small kids, I’m the classic midlife identity crisis! I know what I like in a lot of cases (should have been alive in the 40s/50s!) but probably feel a bit too scared to follow it through!

Laquila · 02/01/2023 09:30

@Newlifenewme there's a lovely cream wool belted coat on Boden at the mo that you might want to take a look at - single-breasted and quite long, slightly oversized. The green version, which was gorgeous, went on sale and sold out immediately 😳

Newlifenewme · 02/01/2023 09:54

@Laquila thank you for the recommendation. If it’s the one I think it is it is a lovely coat but there’s something not quite right about it. I think it’s the collar putting me off. The search continues.

Overtone · 06/01/2023 18:25

I've been 'watching' this thread for ages so it's fantastic to see new posts and especially an update from you OP! I remember being envious of your Citizen Wolf custom-fitted t-shirts, wish we had them here in the UK.

This thread certainly inspired me in 2020 and I need a wardrobe update/cull so I will be re-reading.

Sling · 10/01/2023 10:23

Reporting back as much for accountability as hoping some of what I’ve learnt helps someone else!

So I’m now living in a very hot country and have lost my way; I did a huge clear out and took a step back thinking about what life looked like - loved the idea of scenarios and picturing what would make me feel stylish in some of those cases.

Some big realisations

  1. living in a country is different to holidaying, so it’s not as simple as transferring my holiday wardrobe to day to day. Having said that hot country life is more casual so there is little need for more formal stuff. Not top of my list but definitely this year I need to upgrade my sports gear - they just work in sweaty countries!

  2. my old wardrobe is predominantly black, this just doesn’t suit me as well in this brighter light. Blue is a much better neutral for me, and actually I need more colour than I’d normally buy. So I need to tear myself away from the racks of black clothes and have a think about colours.

  3. Better underwear! Flimsy fabrics, less structure and fewer layers, more skin on show means underwear is more important. Top of my shopping list is going to be new underwear - a good collection of basics including an updated bra fitting.

  4. Layers were a big part of my old look, jumpers, coats, jackets, scarves. I realise I tended to buy plain clothes and layer them. I’m going to need to buy clothes with some interest in them as I only need one layer, I’m thinking folds etc. Vivienne Westwood came to mind 💔

  5. Accessories also change by climate, a few of my handbags are just too heavy and solid looking. So second on my list will be a new bag which is a big more casual, a bit more summery but not a beach bag. I’m pondering State of Escape but seem very expensive for what they are.

So lots to think about, next step will be making my list and starting to consider brands/items. It might be superficial but it feels good to have a bit of a plan

coffeeginandkindness · 10/01/2023 15:26

Gufo · 18/12/2022 17:38

I'd love to join for 2023 - I've lost 1.5 stone and got a new job, so it's time to up my game. I've put a few things on Vinted - and bought a few more!! I've also fired up my old Pinterest board. I have a bit more weight to lose, and work is mainly from home, so I'm limiting myself for now, but trying to be thoughtful about what I keep, sell and buy.

Out of interest what are your search terms when looking on Pinterest?

coffeeginandkindness · 10/01/2023 15:46

Also on the Citizen Wolf (which I haven't heard of before) do they deliver to UK?
I don't currently have the budget AT ALL - I am an ebay shopper for thrift as we have no money atm.

crochetmonkey74 · 10/01/2023 21:41

I love this thread and regularly re-read it. Can I ask a practical question?
Do you find yourselves ordering a lot and returning almost everything?
I don't live close enough to any really love shops to fully investigate all the items. So how do navigate the online shopping aspect of it?

BigSkies2022 · 11/01/2023 12:57

Love this thread! And have just created a spreadsheet for Clothes Purchases/Alterations for 2023. I'm supposed to be on a no/low spend year, but I do need some new things (summer trousers, a belt, white trainers) so I'm going to need to carve out some budget somehow. This is a very good way to make your expenditure count.

SunUpSunDown · 22/01/2023 16:35

I've been a long-time lurker on this thread, and I desperately need to do a wardrobe revamp this year. It's just not working for what I need practically in every day life. I wore uniform for work for years, which was great, but for the last five years since I've changed my main job, I have struggled. I've definitely gone down the more 'curated' route, but I've failed a bit in terms of making my wardrobe fit what I need. I work from home a lot, but also spend time student-facing. I am a big fan of fitting in bits of movement when I can, like to sit cross-legged, etc., and prioritise comfort over everything else. This means I need a smart casual wardrobe. I'm not quite sure where to start, as I just can't find the stuff I'm looking for at the moment, but I'll keep trying!

I also had a revelation yesterday, as I had a House of Colour analysis. I've realised that for my entire life, I have been wearing completely the wrong colours. Since I'm in my forties now, it feels like a bit of an identity crisis! I was wearing lots of blacks, greys and whites with very little colour, and it turns out, I'm an Autumn. This probably explains why, although I felt I knew intuitively what styles suited me, I was never totally happy with what I was wearing. What made me really laugh was when I told my mum, before I'd even got as far as telling her what category I fell into, she said to me, "Oh, well of course, you're an Autumn". At least this gives me somewhere to start.

@coffeeginandkindness I've had a look at Citizen Wolf, and yes, it looks as though they do ship to the UK. I am considering this as an option - I'd rather invest in a few really good basics that will last for ages than keep having to re-buy. So many of the brands that I used to rely on for my basics, just don't last long enough now for me to justify paying their higher prices. I don't want to go down the fast fashion route either.

Pringlepopping · 23/01/2023 08:56

Just book marking

mustbefunny · 18/02/2023 08:54

Stumbled on this thread whilst trying to rebuild my wardrobe (but because of ££ I'm trying to do this from clothes I already own). Place marking to get some tips!

mazylou · 18/02/2023 10:36

I lost a lot of weight towards the end of last year through illness, thankfully recovered now. I went down three clothes sizes, and this thread has been so helpful! My daughter came shopping with me (she's early thirties), and we spent a LOT of time putting together clothes that actually fitted me.

Anonymouslyposting · 18/02/2023 16:29

Following - great inspiration, off to get myself the compulsory Petite Parisian bag!