Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Mumsnet classics

Relive the funniest, most unforgettable threads. For a daily dose of Mumsnet’s best bits, sign up for Mumsnet's daily newsletter.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Thanks to S&B, I'm finally winning in the "pursuit of elegance."

524 replies

LavenderHills · 17/01/2020 03:08

I'm about to write a very long post about how the Style and Beauty board has helped me revolutionise my wardrobe! There's no one else in my life who is really interested in this stuff, so I've got to debrief here Smile

I have always enjoyed the threads about how to look polished or "expensive", but in my own life I've been an impulsive bargain shopper and the result was a wardrobe full of clothes but a feeling of never looking as put-together as I wanted. Last year, I decided I was going to change this and take a planned, intentional approach to my wardrobe, spending more money on less items. I know the classic, polished look is not everyone's cup of tea, but it was what I wanted, and I also wanted to shop more sustainably and buy things that would last for years and not go out of style.

Starting at the beginning of July 2019, I allocated myself a weekly sum that I was allowed to spend on clothes an accessories (100AUD per week, so about £52), added up what the total would be over the course of a full year, and then created a list of everything I thought I would need- shoes, clothes, underwear etc- to feel polished and put together. I spent a lot of time researching exactly which items I wanted and how much they cost, put it all in a spreadsheet so I could see what the total was, and eventually ended up with a list that used up 90% of the overall budget, with 10% left over for "extra" items and a list of what I might want those extras to be (new sunglasses, for instance.)

A lot of the items on my list were "boring" things that I wouldn't impulse-purchase on a fun shopping trip, and were more expensive than I'd be able to buy if I was just spending my £52 per week in an ad hoc manner on whatever I pleased. Examples include really comfortable black leather ballet flats that I can walk for miles in, and a black leather shoulder bag with a zipper and the perfect strap length. I had to save my allocated money each week, and then make a purchase when I had accumulated enough to buy the next item on the list.

I'm now almost seven months into my year of planned purchases and I can't believe what a difference it's made! For the first time in my entire life, I feel like I have the appropriate things to wear for every occasion, and it's really easy to get dressed and feel polished and elegant. Instead of cheap, fun party dresses or eleven million cute tops that don't go with anything else I own, I can now get dressed for, say, a casual brunch in jeans and a t-shirt that fit me perfectly, are made out of quality fabrics and beautifully cut. I have the right casual shoes to go with them, and a bra underneath that fits properly. My bag is a lovely, soft leather and fits the occasion, my earrings are understated but solid gold, and it all works well together without me having to think much about it. All of the "boring" purchases have added up to a wardrobe that works well for my actual life.

I can't see myself ever going back. I no longer make impulse purchases, and I find that quite calming. I can walk past shops without being tempted by a cheap bargain pair of shoes, because I know it's not on my list and the things that ARE on my list are the things I really want and will use. I don't shop in sales unless something on my list goes on sale.

I'm already brainstorming what will go on the next list once this first twelve months is up. Having pared back my wardrobe and bought the basics I need, I feel like the next step is saving up for some investment pieces, maybe only buying three or four items a year once I've replaced things that have worn out. I'm dreaming of bespoke coats and antique earrings!

None of this is rocket science, but I wanted to share it in case anyone else is like me and wants a bit of inspiration about how to make a change.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
22
spotddog · 18/02/2023 16:59

Discovered this great post today so
haven't had time to read all.

Forgive if already mentioned,
kettlewellcolours.co.uk has a section where you can input your details to find out your season. Good colour pallets for when you are shopping. Also good for showing colour combinations. Apologies I don't know how to do a live link.

Newlifenewme · 18/02/2023 19:22

Well I’m doing ok I got the petite Parisian bag in the January sales. I also invested in some good leather pumps, some flat boots and a good wool coat. I’m dreading the warmer months coming though as summer clothes tend to be cheaper fabrics

LavenderHills · 20/02/2023 07:15

I've just ordered two new pairs of ankle boots from Ivylee Copenhagen.

One is a basic black, but I went with the crocodile instead of the smooth version because I'm experimenting with using texture to add interest to neutral-toned outfits.

The other pair is their cult gold boot. I've wanted these boots for YEARS and this year they finally made it onto the spreadsheet!

Thanks to S&B, I'm finally winning in the "pursuit of elegance."
Thanks to S&B, I'm finally winning in the "pursuit of elegance."
Thanks to S&B, I'm finally winning in the "pursuit of elegance."
OP posts:
LavenderHills · 20/02/2023 07:58

crochetmonkey74 · 10/01/2023 21:41

I love this thread and regularly re-read it. Can I ask a practical question?
Do you find yourselves ordering a lot and returning almost everything?
I don't live close enough to any really love shops to fully investigate all the items. So how do navigate the online shopping aspect of it?

@crochetmonkey74 Because I spend so much time researching and pondering my purchases, I find that I generally only need to return items that don't fit properly. It's really important to be disciplined about returning things that aren't right. Do it straight away, otherwise you risk having them lying around until after the returns period has expired. And always check the return policy/process before ordering something!

OP posts:
AtLeastThreeDrinks · 21/02/2023 08:37

Thanks so much for this thread OP, I’ve been reading through it the past few days and feel so inspired to redo my wardrobe. Like lots of PPs, mine is full of ill-fitting, cheapish clothes that don’t go together and I never feel great in. I miss that feeling of confidence that a great outfit affords! So I’ve started my Pinterest board.

@Weaselstoatferret have you tried searching “French girl style / outfits” on Pinterest? Lots of striped-top inspiration.

Weaselstoatferret · 21/02/2023 18:13

Hi @AtLeastThreeDrinks I have widened our my Pinterest searching so that has helped loads.

@LavenderHills I love Ivylee Copenhagen and have invested in a few pairs of boots. They are fab

LavenderHills · 24/02/2023 22:32

This thread is all about prioritising the "boring" purchases that actually make a wardrobe work, so I am pleased to report that I have recently invested in sweat-proof undershirts and wish I'd done it years ago!

I don't think I'm a particularly sweaty person, but I live in a hot country and work long hours with lots of travel and dashing between meetings and events etc. I am also, as long-time readers of this thread will attest, very partial to a silk blouse Blush

This combination of circumstances meant I was always re-applying deodorant and worrying about sweat stains, but since buying the undershirts I can go all day without thinking about it. As long as I haven't spilled anything on a shirt or dress, I often find that I can hang it up to be re-worn without needing a wash, because not a drop of perspiration has made it through the undershirt.

I'm using the Sweatshield brand, because Australia, but I'm sure there are others.

www.sweatshieldundershirt.com.au/collections/sweat-proof-undershirts/products/womens-sweat-proof-undershirt-scoop-neck

OP posts:
BigSkies2022 · 25/02/2023 10:22

Very much enjoying this thread and have bookmarked the undershirts, to add to my list (and recommend to DS, whose t-shirts I am forever treating with bicarb of soda)

My own purchases this year (from the spreadsheet of desire, planned and budgeted for, will last me forever) are these trousers motherofpearl.co.uk/collections/trousers-skirts-sustainable-fashion/products/lois-trouser-tan

and this shirt, will go with everything
www.everlane.com/products/womens-clean-silk-relaxed-shirt-hthr-burnt-sugar?collection=womens-bestsellersv2

Next on my list are socks, 2 bras, and a belt.

BigSkies2022 · 25/02/2023 10:30

BTW @LavenderHills - what do you make of the sizing on the undershirts? I would usually opt for a medium, but according to the website, that comes out as an 8. Is this a UK 8 (as opposed to a US 8, which is a UK 12)? Should I go for a 10 if that is the size I normally wear? I'm a UK 8-10 generally.

Luckingfovely · 25/02/2023 12:15

@BigSkies2022 that Everlane shirt makes me swoon!

BigSkies2022 · 25/02/2023 19:12

mmm...well, I had had a 'neutral' silk shirt on my list for a long time. I have two Jaeger silk shirts, one navy, one a lovely pink. They have both lasted a long time, but Jaeger just ain't what it used to be, so I've been casting around a good while for a new source. Everlane cropped up in an article on sustainable brands.

LavenderHills · 25/02/2023 22:06

BigSkies2022 · 25/02/2023 10:30

BTW @LavenderHills - what do you make of the sizing on the undershirts? I would usually opt for a medium, but according to the website, that comes out as an 8. Is this a UK 8 (as opposed to a US 8, which is a UK 12)? Should I go for a 10 if that is the size I normally wear? I'm a UK 8-10 generally.

It's definitely a UK 8 (same as AU sizes.) I'm about the same size as you and I ordered both the Small and the Medium to try. Honestly, they both fit me fine. I think I'm going to order a five pack in the small size now.

The one thing to note is that these definitely couldn't be worn as a stand-alone t-shirt. The fabric is very thin on the shirt itself, and the sweat proof layers on the underarm section are clearly visible. (I tried one on in the office and my team were in hysterics.) However, they're fantastic for their intended purpose. Invisible under another shirt, comfortable to wear, and keep me dry all day.

OP posts:
SqueakyDinosaur · 27/02/2023 15:57

I really mourn the decline of Jaeger. I am still wearing a black cashmere coat that I bought from them around 8 years ago, and I have another blue and cream coat even older, and some wide-legged black trousers and a couple of shift dresses in very fine wool, but I never see anything I like much there now, and it's all an ocean of artificial fibres at ridiculous prices.

BigSkies2022 · 02/03/2023 14:27

@SqueakyDinosaur - I feel you! It seems necessary to up the budget to retain the quality now. An honourable exception here is Cos, I reckon. And it's good to see a wider range of sustainable fabrics available, like linen and tencel/lyocell - whether they go the distance of the older versions, I've yet to find out. Perhaps I am just getting old.

BigSkies2022 · 24/03/2023 13:37

Just to report back on the recent purchases:
sweat-wicking undershirt was great - I bought the medium, to allow for any possible shrinkage in future washing, and it's fine for sizing. I'm not sure I'd want to wear it in hot weather, but then I probably wouldn't wear a silk shirt in hot weather either.
The Everlane silk is very nice: great colour and cut, nice pleat at the back, good cuffs and fit. The silk is not as thick as the Jaegar shirts of yesteryear, and doesn't have quite the same lovely drape. But those Jaegar shirts are yore it seems, so no use crying over past treasures, we are where we are.

Bought some cracking glittery socks from Cos, which I wear over toning cotton socks for extra comfort. Next on the list: a brown leather belt and some more socks from Uniqlo. I did also stumble across some nice trainers I hadn't come across before, and I am looking for some this summer to replace old ones. This brand looks strong! https://www.modainpelle.com/trainers-c168 Anyone know it?

Womens Casual Trainers | Designer Trainers | Moda in Pelle

Explore our beautiful range of Womens Casual Trainers from Moda in Pelle | We are experts in Designer Trainers for Women online | Buy now & pay in 3 with Klarna

https://www.modainpelle.com/trainers-c168

WhatWhereWhenHowWhy · 01/05/2023 14:44

commenting to follow

GarlicGrace · 01/05/2023 15:01

@BigSkies2022 I've got shoes & boots from Moda In Pelle. Good, and last for years. No reason to suppose their trainers are any less worthy!

abstractprojection · 02/05/2023 23:59

I've been doing something like more recently though not as methodically

Key items I had to build on:
Vintage dark tan mac (thrift store)
Black leather bike jacket (All Saints)
Brown slightly cow boy brown leather ankle boots (indie store)
Gold studs (Tiffany)
Gold chain (unknown)
Black shoulder bag (Italy)
A lot of boho summer/beach dresses

Items I've bought this year:
Brown leather backpack (Italy)
Tan cord pant suit (Italy)
Navy pant suit (Italy)
Three white shirts in different fabrics/cuts (Uniqlo)
Back and white t-shirts in different cuts (Uniqlo)
High waist dark jeans with gold side chain detail (Macy's)
High waist ripped stonewash jeans (Levi)
Cropped boyfriend jeans (Banana Republic)

BigSkies2022 · 17/05/2023 11:25

Yesterday I visited a friend I hadn't seen in ages and I wore my caramel Everlane silk shirt, with sweat-wicking undershirt, my tan Mother of Pearl trousers (first outing), my brown leather belt with brass buckle bought to go with the trousers, and finish the outfit off, and my new Adidas white trainers, which had been on my list. I had a navy linen blazer in case it was cold and a navy leather bag. I had a brown leather and brass necklace and a dress ring. I felt epic! For the first time in years I was ready for the first properly warm-ish and sunny day of the year, which included a posh lunch out.

@LavenderHills I love you and your thread!

Celledora · 18/05/2023 19:28

@BigSkies2022 that sounds like a beautiful ensemble! Would you mind sharing the undershirt brand? I’ve always ruined silk shirts 🤦🏻‍♀️

BigSkies2022 · 18/05/2023 20:57

@Celledora - the brand is Sweatshield and was recommended by Lavender Hills, whose thread this is. They are good.

Celledora · 18/05/2023 23:45

Thanks @BigSkies2022. I’ve dipped in and out of the thread over the last year, time to re-read now I’m in a position to start on my own list! Another thanks to @LavenderHills for the inspiration.

tellmewhentheLangshiplandscoz · 05/07/2023 12:07

Place marking to read later Grin

PurpleFresias · 05/07/2023 17:56

wow, so inspiring! this is absolutely what I'm going to do..

I've developed a habit (obsession might be closer) with charity shopping, and I can't pass one without popping in and usually buying something. trouble is, very rarely do these "finds" really work for me, which wd be ok but I've just counted up how much I have spent on this in the last six months - a ridiculous amount.

thank you so much OP, I'm off to try and put your philosophy into practice.

bendmeoverbackwards · 05/07/2023 23:00

@BigSkies2022 I love the silk Everlane shirt ❤️

Such a great thread. I love clothes and have far too many! I know I should go for quality not quantity. But I love browsing online, it relaxes me and before I know it, I’ve ordered stuff ‘to try’ 🙄