I can offer you solutions to all your problems

[pineapplebryanbrown]

I'm a non medically trained self appointed internet nurse. I have a very old useless degree in humanities from a poly therefore am completely unfettered by knowledge or training. Bring me your problems and I'll solve them.

Grinchly I like you Grinchly, I do, I always have.

But you're insane, you're a manager.

Things are hard for you and that pains me, can you go for a demotion?

We're smashing the system here Grinchly and you are the system.

I'll do all I can for you but you may be too far gone, how long have you been a "manager". Did you seek this out? Were you tricked? Have you been forced.

DON'T LIE.

I do wish my ex h was inside a pig and not free to roam the Earth annoying people! As you said, thigh, we live and learn and age like a fine wine ...

Did someone mention 'wine'?

Getting I deadnamed you earlier and called you Gathering for this I apologise and I offer in mitigation the earlier slipper debacle which Basilisk performed upon me.

WHERE'S HELLEN!

Where's my Security Officer?!

Luaa I heard about vegan creme eggs on the radio, just saying.

UAE is in bed now, we will never see her again.

I followed the Krispy Kreme Solution to the letter Thigh on Monday, and I have to say, it did produce very positive and interesting results, just as you promised.

Anyway the far more important telly thing is now fixed. I suspect malevolent external involvement was wrecking my viewing pleasure.

Bastardchef is on at 8 if anyone can get past the choco-kale trauma and fancies a little rest.

Vegan. Crème. Eggs
Christ on a scooter.
Sorry for wanky accent. Forgotten how to turn it off.

I think Christ just fell off his scooter, Grinchly

Gettingnowhere and Your Thighness yes. Am contrite. Am preparing the haunted wax as we speak.

Reg Good i like sound of haunted wax, very intriguing.

Reg so when you've 'changed' them with the haunted wax, can you change them back again? (Asking for a friend.) Also please can I have some?

I’ll swap some for a bag of monster munch.

I haven’t felt the need to turn anyone back, so maybe your ‘friend’ could experiment and report back.

Ooh, Reg, can I have a haunted mannequin? I need something to hang my umbrellas on. They are gathering (btw I am NOT gathering) dust next to the front door which leads to the Real World

Reg i have half a bag of Tesco toffee éclairs, they're going down quickly mind.

Will you accept my firstborn child as an offering, Reg?

Who haunts it? Is it real? I don't understand it but i know it would complete me.

REG my first born child and 2 ex husbands plus some toffee.

I must protest, your Royal Thighness. I thought your thisciples completed you

Speaking of "complete", my autocomplete now keeps suggesting "Thighland" as if it's a real place in the real world

Getting you are correct. You complete me, but haunted wax sounds so weird. You know my fascination with the macabre und dastardly.

Here are some samples. The children in the background are actual haunted mannequins.

Getting it is! You know it is! How else can you explain where you've been all week.

I've even got emails saying "where have you been all week to prove it".

So weird Reg and excellent.