To Have Murderous Thoughts About Colleague?

[Mansplanation]

I’m leaving my job and my replacement was hired, so I’m handing over.

Today he’s been reviewing my work over the last few months to get familiar with the accounts and when I asked how he was getting on, his reply was ‘it’s all quite good actually! I’m really surprised!’

Later in the day, he commented that ‘you’re actually quite good at your job aren’t you?’

Then ‘well done, this looks like you planned it this way’

He also proceeded to explain my job to me in great detail. Over. And over. And over again. All the while, asking very very basic questions and eventually I said ‘yep, that’s very standard, have you not seen that before?’ To call him out on it and he replied ‘yeah I have, I just wanted to see if you knew why it’s done that way’

I DID FUCKING PLAN IT THAT WAY, IM VERY GOOD AT MY JOB AND YOU ARE REPLACING ME BECAUSE IM MOVING TO A MUCH, MUCH MORE SENIOR ROLE YOU INTOLLERABLE, MANSPLAINING SHART GOBLIN

Somebody PLEASE lend me their willpower because I’m one ‘well done’ away from stapling a gold star to his fucking forehead.

I need to bite my tongue so I can leave and get to my new job but I’m really bloody struggling

SHART GOBLIN! Ha ha ha

I dunno. Sounds like either he's a total asshole who is trying to wind you up and make you angry. Or he has no clue what's going on and is blagging.

Maybe a combo!

Can you not try to see the funny side to this, rather than getting so annoyed? I ask because I've found the ONLY thing that seems to take the wind out of the sails of men like this is when you find what they are trying to do amusing. And let them know in little ways.

It's also a lot easier on the blood pressure.

I reckon I can hold my tongue in my head for another week but I’m going to need gardening leave after that for a couple of weeks and they can contact me as and when they need something.. someone is going to go to prison if I have to sit next to him much longer.

I also nearly, audibly growled the other day in my defence, he was standing next to me explaining to my colleague that he’s come in to ‘sort out’ the accounts and is excited to ‘get things in good shape’

To his credit, my colleague answered by saying ‘there won’t be much to do there, I know manslain’s got a keen eye for detail’ and gave me a sympathetic look. Again, I didn’t return the look and just smiled a bit.

I CAN do this. BREATHE.

say this ; "I am glad you understand the basics - if you need a bit more help to understand this in depth I can explain a bit more - if your ready for it - you being just a man, of course, means that I will have to explain a bit more simply so you will be able to follow!" seriously (almost!) just say really that must be were I was going wrong :) many men have very fragile egos - Agatha Christie's Jane Marple when a young woman said that she was equal to men stated- to paraphrase- I am not equal to men, dear, women are superior" :)

Finding the funny side is definitely the way forward. This thread has helped, I’m glad I posted!

He's massively threatened by you. A young woman who is way more experienced than him, who is leaving the job that he now has to fill, for a better job.

He's trying to knock holes in you whilst simultaneously impress you and impress his new colleagues.

He's a prick. Please don't let him talk to you like that, stamp on him at EVERY opportunity!

Joking aside - I'd be livid at the outright lying re the bespoke system and would absolutely make clear to him I knew he was LYING and that it's a really bad idea to LIE to someone who knows the truth and that such behaviour can be construed as gross misconduct.

Me too. The general patronising twattishness is bad enough, but to outright lie that he was instrumental in implementing a system that he had nutterly fuck all to do with ~ nah, I couldn't let that one pass without cunningly asking him to talk me through exactly how he did that, in a girly, wide-eyed 'wow, you're so immensely awesome' way, before waiting till he'd dug himself a deep enough hole then pushing him straight into it with a puzzled 'But hang on, I'm confused, as this was a completely bespoke system that blah blah blah, so how come you were involved at x, y, z stage? [innocent face]'

I’m glad the thread has helped you see the funny side, but please do find a way to pull him up on it! Winking at you is intolerable.

I tend to go the glacial and repetitive route, but it goes over the head with this type, so some of the other suggestions on this thread would be good.

Sounds like he is overcompensating. Probably because he doesn't have a clue what he is doing.

Paedophilic Garden Gnome @Mansplanation

I CANNOT STOP LAUGHING

You need a no shit Sherlock tally chart OP 😀😀😀
I have a new boss who does the same to me frequently. I try to limit myself to actually finalising it to 1 x week.
Might print out the chart from the other page - love it!

Calll him out each and every time

"Yes I know it's good - I designed it"
"Yes I do understand that - are you sure you do though, because this is the third time you've had to go through it, would you like me to sit down and explain it to you?"

Or just "Fuck off you patronising twunt"

Is this him OP?

Just sigh and reply "yes,dear" every. Single. Time.

Make a little chart entitled snart's STBO record.
Divide it into days, hours and add a gold star each time.
If he asks what it is, just tell him He is filling it up well and smile sweetly.
He will think it is handover progress
Only you will know it is a chart to record him Stating The Bleedin' Obvious

Is he short?

There must be some reason he is desperate to be constantly putting you down.

I think either look confused each time he says something ridiculous to you and either ask him to explain, or praise him yourself, ensuring he knows you know.

“The basics? Why would you think I would need those explained to me?”

“No need to compliment me about my work, I’m just impressed you’re able to keep up with me!”

“You’re trying really hard for someone in their first week in a new job. Remember I’m at the end of the phone if you need me.”

“Yeah I am doing pretty well for myself at 27, but you mustn’t let other people’s success get you down - you’re doing well too - some people are late bloomers!”

My boss (who I actually really like) does this sometimes and genuinely acts all happy and surprised when I get positive feedback or do something well. I'm like yep, it's my JOB.

He is definitely a shart goblin.

You have to pull him up on this. He sounds insufferable.

It may be worth a serious conversation with him saying that if he carries on like this he is going to annoy a LOT of people and that for his own sake he needs to pack it in immediately.

Love 'shart goblin' and 'correctile dysfunction'

What a stupid little prat he sounds, OP

I think hes trying to impress you with his basic knowledge and understanding but failing miserably of course

Shart.

Goblin.

Okay so you win Mumsnet today

I had a very similar scenario once - drove me bonkers! After a couple of days I sat the guy down made a list of what else he wanted and finished it off pretty quickly. I then said, "The best to learn and be really sure you've got it is to do the job - so you sit there and do it and I'll sit here with my headphones on. Give me a nudge if you need me".

Christ imagine any poor woman who's ever been in a relationship with him. Misogynistic prick.