Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Mumsnet classics

Relive the funniest, most unforgettable threads. For a daily dose of Mumsnet’s best bits, sign up for Mumsnet's daily newsletter.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To Have Murderous Thoughts About Colleague?

590 replies

Mansplanation · 08/08/2018 20:34

I’m leaving my job and my replacement was hired, so I’m handing over.

Today he’s been reviewing my work over the last few months to get familiar with the accounts and when I asked how he was getting on, his reply was ‘it’s all quite good actually! I’m really surprised!’ Hmm

Later in the day, he commented that ‘you’re actually quite good at your job aren’t you?’

Then ‘well done, this looks like you planned it this way’

He also proceeded to explain my job to me in great detail. Over. And over. And over again. All the while, asking very very basic questions and eventually I said ‘yep, that’s very standard, have you not seen that before?’ To call him out on it and he replied ‘yeah I have, I just wanted to see if you knew why it’s done that way’

I DID FUCKING PLAN IT THAT WAY, IM VERY GOOD AT MY JOB AND YOU ARE REPLACING ME BECAUSE IM MOVING TO A MUCH, MUCH MORE SENIOR ROLE YOU INTOLLERABLE, MANSPLAINING SHART GOBLIN Angry

Somebody PLEASE lend me their willpower because I’m one ‘well done’ away from stapling a gold star to his fucking forehead.

I need to bite my tongue so I can leave and get to my new job but I’m really bloody struggling Sad

OP posts:
Skittlesandbeer · 09/08/2018 05:14

You know he’s planning on rubbishing your rep the exact minute you leave, right? Is there a way to snapshot the system (and back it up) as it was on your last day, so any (inevitable) fuckups aren’t blamed on you? I bet he’s already identified areas of ‘low hanging fruit’ to be impressive about.

Personally I’d start a book of Shart Goblin Bingo for your colleagues to play after you leave. Extra points every time he says or implies it’s your fault he couldn’t/didn’t do something he should have. Or set up a colleague who knows you well to say ‘Oh that’s easily sorted, I’ll ring Mansplanation and ask her, shall I? Better to be sure.’ every time SG tries it on with the bosses.

Pluckedpencil · 09/08/2018 05:27

You can bite your tongue to him, but I would be absolutely flagging this to your boss without using the word mansplaining. I'd say he seems to think very basic pieces of accounting need to be explained to you, which suggests he doesn't have a concrete understanding himself. And that he has a rather patronising way of talking to women, so to keep him well away from female clients, or train him in not being a dickhead.

strawberrisc · 09/08/2018 05:46

Not placemarking at all.

whiteroseredrose · 09/08/2018 05:48

Me too

AnnieAnoniMoose · 09/08/2018 06:23

What A Twunt.

There are some very amusing suggestions 😂 & some very good (serious) suggestions about how to deal with fuckwits like this!

HOWEVER, your one and only mission here is to get the hell out of Dodge ASAP.

Don’t do, or say, a single thing that will make him have second thoughts about the job and don’t say anything more to management - they’ve been told, but are choosing not to hear you, their problem.

Do NOT risk being stuck there until December! It’s not worth it. Be right or be free...your choice!

TheStoic · 09/08/2018 06:34

Next time he does it, ask him if he's heard of 'mansplaining'.

Because of course he has, he's heard of everything - and he will proceed to mansplain mansplaining to you.

Timefortea99 · 09/08/2018 06:38

Just focus on the fact you are leaving. Your colleagues are going to be stuck with him.

He sounds like a bullshitter. Interviewed well but is not up to the job. So he is all bluster and patronising because he is trying to look like he knows what he is doing. He is planting seeds for when it goes wrong, sort out the accounts indeed. You need to protect your reputation though. If it all goes to shit when you leave he will be pointing to you, your fault.

Bifflepants · 09/08/2018 06:47

If he asks basic questions again and then makes out he was doing it to test your knowledge, I would seriously not stand for that. I would look him in the eye and say "you're not here to test my knowledge about this job, you're here to learn and ensure there is a smooth handover. Please stop wasting both of our time." Insufferable.

InionEile · 09/08/2018 06:52

I vote for printing out that handy mansplaining flowchart, laminating it and pinning it up at your desk. Then next time he mansplains at you, just say 'Sorry, Mansplainer, I have to stop you there.' and then point at the flowchart and nod sagely. Then move on as if nothing happened.

Is he younger than you? From what you say, I'm beginning to think he may just be inexperienced and nervous about being able to step up into your role. Or he could just be a shart goblin.

Either way, keep interrupting him and redirecting him back to topic. Don't just sit there and listen while he mansplains on and on. You'll be doing every woman in the office (and possibly the world) a favour if you nip his attitude in the bud.

Original poster
Mansplanation · 09/08/2018 07:04

He’s older than me by several years, has also owned his own business doing what I do for a living and has had more jobs than me but all in smaller companies. I’ve come to this job from a massive company who are industry leaders and I’m leaving to go to a massive company who are also industry leaders.

He doesn’t have small man syndrome, he’s got small business syndrome. Thinks he’s an expert but hasn’t had exposure to actual experts yet. I’ll have been a bit of a shock to him I think because I was ‘brought up’ in the trade by a couple of serious names in the industry, so I’ve taken on their approach. I haven’t name dropped them to him but I might do that today Grin

OP posts:
S0upertrooper · 09/08/2018 07:29

Is he David Brent?

MadamBatty · 09/08/2018 07:51

Aha so he’s doing you & thefirm a BIG FAVOR by ‘taking’ this job? He’s had his own business & worked for bigger.

The big I AM
Will you not bow to his brilliance?

Seems a step back for him so?

EvaHarknessRose · 09/08/2018 08:02

Doubt he would have the insight to recognise his weaknesses and leave. And he might get away with it for a few years for being a man and blaming it on you.

I admire your restrained approach, and would keep it ‘professional mentor’. If you have a stake in company relationships though, and have serious reservations about his ‘embellished’ credentials, and he doesn’t improve his attitude, I think you have to share it. Would they really delay your move?

CrabbityRabbit · 09/08/2018 08:08

You have the patience of a saint. I would have snapped quite sharply at him by now and then felt guilty about it. Blush

Original poster
Mansplanation · 09/08/2018 08:10

Madam it would look like that on paper, but I checked out his company at companies house and also asked around, from what I can see he put £40k into it and made a £24k loss in 6 months, then it folded. Since then he's been a contractor at a couple of in house roles and now he's here.

He's probably able to do the job, just not well.

OP posts:
Cauliflowersqueeze · 09/08/2018 08:14

Looking forward to the next update on him!

fluffygreenmonsterhoody · 09/08/2018 08:19

Good luck today OP. I’ll know what’s happened if I hear of an accountancy-based industrialist accident on the news today...

Original poster
Mansplanation · 09/08/2018 08:23

I can be very creative, you won't hear about it today, but in about 3 months time there will be a short news clipping about a bloke in his mid 30's vanishing from work and not being seen since..

OP posts:
MadamBatty · 09/08/2018 08:35

Mans, I would have guessed that. I’ve worked with people like him.

As already says it’s becuase you’re younger and female he thinks he can patronize you.

I often sit on interview panels for mid/senior finance roles. It’s always the men who try to give the impression that they were running the organization in their previous role. When I drill down I get the truth.

Feck him, you’re doing your job by training him. Just grit your teeth for the next couple of weeks. After this time to dump & run.

NynaeveSedai · 09/08/2018 08:46

People please stop saying that this guy fancies her! The 'man is mean to woman because he fancies her' trope has to die.

PinkSquash · 09/08/2018 09:02

Aargh, I have a couple of agency staff like this. I've been in the company for 4 years and set this team up, also I do ad hoc management in a different sector of the company and the mansplaining I get is unreal. I did bite yesterday because it just got too much for me and my colleague (both women). Shart goblin will be used here with alarming frequency I feel.

Waffles80 · 09/08/2018 09:03

He sounds utterly vile.

I really think you need to let someone more senior know that you plan to, politely and professionally, ask him to stop explaining basic processes to you because it’s not productive use of your handover time. And then tell himz

Waffles80 · 09/08/2018 09:03

Him!

Original poster
Mansplanation · 09/08/2018 09:16

This morning so far he’s explained back to me something he heard me say in a client meeting yesterday with the preface:

‘I was thinking last night, and I’ve come to the conclusion that this client thinks XX but I think they should be doing YY’

I replied: ‘absolutely, that’s just what I said to the yesterday on the call do you remember? They liked that idea, I think they’ll go with it’.

He’s been in the office for 14 minutes. Angry

OP posts:
sexnotgender · 09/08/2018 09:31

Perhaps feign concern for his memory? Surely you remember me saying that exact same thing to the client yesterday?

I had a manager that used to try and pull that shit with me, I’d say something in a meeting that he’d totally ignore and then shortly afterwards pitch it as his own idea. He was an incompetent buffoon who was totally in the wrong job.

Swipe left for the next trending thread