To Have Murderous Thoughts About Colleague?

[Mansplanation]

I’m leaving my job and my replacement was hired, so I’m handing over.

Today he’s been reviewing my work over the last few months to get familiar with the accounts and when I asked how he was getting on, his reply was ‘it’s all quite good actually! I’m really surprised!’

Later in the day, he commented that ‘you’re actually quite good at your job aren’t you?’

Then ‘well done, this looks like you planned it this way’

He also proceeded to explain my job to me in great detail. Over. And over. And over again. All the while, asking very very basic questions and eventually I said ‘yep, that’s very standard, have you not seen that before?’ To call him out on it and he replied ‘yeah I have, I just wanted to see if you knew why it’s done that way’

I DID FUCKING PLAN IT THAT WAY, IM VERY GOOD AT MY JOB AND YOU ARE REPLACING ME BECAUSE IM MOVING TO A MUCH, MUCH MORE SENIOR ROLE YOU INTOLLERABLE, MANSPLAINING SHART GOBLIN

Somebody PLEASE lend me their willpower because I’m one ‘well done’ away from stapling a gold star to his fucking forehead.

I need to bite my tongue so I can leave and get to my new job but I’m really bloody struggling

There's not a jury in the land that would convict you.

Now I want to stab him.

‘Something wrong with your eye SG?’

Being paid more? That because he a manz!

He also found out my age from a colleague (he must have asked, it wouldn’t come up in conversation otherwise) and returned to the desk saying ‘I didn’t realise you’re only 27, you’re doing well for yourself aren’t you??’

Fuck. The. Fuck. OFF.

Fab suggestions above. My insticnt would be to go ridiculously girlie. All wide-eyed and touching your hair and breathy and asking more and more simplistic questions until the penny finally dropped. Mind you, id only deploy this because I'm a strapping lass and it's an obvious piss take.

The sensible advice is to count down, slowly, until leaving day!

OP, please just tell him that he's mansplaining, and you know this, and you're going off to a more senior role than this one. Use the word 'mansplaining'. We all know he'd never say this to a man, so let him know that you are on to him. If you don't want to be too direct, you can say, "Budgeting? For an accountant? Is this the human quality you call mansplaining?"

Just do it.

In your new role will you be line managing people in his role?

If so think of it as a good practise in case you come across another twat like this in future.

I'd take him to one side and warn him that being patronising and condescending is not how to handle either the job or colleagues and certainly not a boss. And DEFINITELY not clients (it sounds like this job involves direct contact with clients and he could well lose the company business with this attitude). That it actually makes him look insecure and incompetent. ESPECIALLY if he particularly takes this attitude with women.

Get across to him less is often more in terms of explanation and to practice his listening skills (which seem very poor). To think before he speaks and particularly to consider how he would feel if he were the person being spoken to like that.

I'd do this towards an end of a day rather than beginning so he can think about it overnight and hopefully come in the next day with a better attitude.

I’m going to recommend I work away from the office for the last 2 weeks to my manager —in the interests of his safety—.

I hope he doesn’t try to blame you if there are any hiccups once you’ve gone. He sounds the type!

My eye is doing that twitchy thing just reading this. I’ll hold yer coat OP.

Presumably he was interviewed and appointed by someone who he will have to report to. Do they know that they appointed a shart goblin yet? They will be gutted when they realise.

Yes, really don't call him a shart goblin. He sounds similar to the verruca gnome.

If I had the gaul I would say in a very soft caring voice, now you probably haven't heard of this before, and I want you to know it's absolutely not your fault, but actually there's this problem called sexism. Now you might find, it does seem to be something you are impacted by, that you feel the need to explain things that are really quite obvious to women who know more than you. Since you are such a good boy and fast learner I know you won't fall into this trap again. Well done for taking this so well. It's always good to be ready to improve yourself... smile, pat head, walk away.... My brother in law does this. It is mightily annoying. At least you aren't related to him!

OP you need to man up and do some willy waving of your own!

I think he fancies you.

He’s still a massive twat though.

I’ll give him until Monday to settle down, it might be nerves and there’s a chance he’s trying to impress me which his knowledge and is just woefully tactless.

He’s definitely used to being the expert in a room, so sitting with someone who’s knowledge of the subject is on par/ arguably better than his is possibly a new experience.

He needs to get over it fast though, if he tries this shit on one of my senior colleagues there won’t be anything left of him.

Definitely pull him up on his arseholery. Then come back and tell us his reaction.

I'm off tomorrow and could do with a laugh.

Oh bless you OP. Don't you know it's only menz that can do well at work? While you fill time in between popping out bairns.

I interviewed him with my manager. At interview it’s difficult because you want them to explain things in detail so you can judge their experience level. He impressed me at interview. The shame

Goodness I'm embarrassed for him.
Any chance you could make something very industry specific up and talk about it with him and see if he tries to join in? Get him to mansplain something that doesn't even exist back to you. Extra points if you make up new words too.

"If you readjust the nurdler and level off the spangler then you'll find your optimal output will increase by at least a quarter of a percentile... but i bet you already knew that!"

Print out this amazing flowchart —and staple it to his head—

www.bbc.com/capital/story/20180727-mansplaining-explained-in-one-chart

For extra points, explain to him, as though to a child of 7, what is a flowchart and how it works.

Demonstrate the path through you know more than him.

Oh god what a toolbag!! I sort of know how you're feeling but in reverse, I'm going on maternity and trying to train my cover who knows absolutely nothing and is taking ages to pick it up and has no common sense with spreadsheets and computers and sometimes grammar 😭😭😭😭😭 very frustrating for me as I'm a bit ocd in Work and like everything done a certain way

Gigis I did that today!! Not completely on purpose, but I mentioned something completely unique to a particular client and he said ‘yeah I saw that at insert random old job he had 5 years ago , they used the same sustema nd it worked great. I helped them implement it because I think it’s the best way to work’

This system is bespoke, completely unique and the client developed it in house as a solution to an extremely niche problem. No way on this earth or the next he’s seen it before

—why doesn’t my cross out work?—

I also vote for calling him out. He won't thank you for it but if he has any sense he'll take it on board and not make such an ass of himself next time.

Oh well, if you interviewed him, I’ve no sympathy