To Have Murderous Thoughts About Colleague?

[Mansplanation]

I’m leaving my job and my replacement was hired, so I’m handing over.

Today he’s been reviewing my work over the last few months to get familiar with the accounts and when I asked how he was getting on, his reply was ‘it’s all quite good actually! I’m really surprised!’

Later in the day, he commented that ‘you’re actually quite good at your job aren’t you?’

Then ‘well done, this looks like you planned it this way’

He also proceeded to explain my job to me in great detail. Over. And over. And over again. All the while, asking very very basic questions and eventually I said ‘yep, that’s very standard, have you not seen that before?’ To call him out on it and he replied ‘yeah I have, I just wanted to see if you knew why it’s done that way’

I DID FUCKING PLAN IT THAT WAY, IM VERY GOOD AT MY JOB AND YOU ARE REPLACING ME BECAUSE IM MOVING TO A MUCH, MUCH MORE SENIOR ROLE YOU INTOLLERABLE, MANSPLAINING SHART GOBLIN

Somebody PLEASE lend me their willpower because I’m one ‘well done’ away from stapling a gold star to his fucking forehead.

I need to bite my tongue so I can leave and get to my new job but I’m really bloody struggling

I'll provide you an alibi if you need one. What an absolute bellend he sounds.

✋✋ late hands up for show him the awesome chart. Tell him it's training. And definitely do the flow chart explanation....

I think tomorrow I’m going to go in with a lofty ‘Not today, Satan!’ Attitude. Answers to stupid questions will be clipped and pointy and I shall impale him on a death stare and cut him off if he embarks on a mansplain.

I’m thinking ‘yes that’s a very basic concept of XXXX, I’m well aware of it thank you.’ Will be enough to deflate him. If not, a pointier ‘I actually don’t need a explanation of that, I built the accounts and have run them successfully for 5 years’. Failing that, I’ll take a roll of gaffa tape with me...

I am only posting to say that 'shart goblin' is now in my vocabulary, and I work almost entirely with male engineers on a shipyard, so I feel your pain at the mansplaining. 'Correctile dysfunction' is also going in my personal brain thesaurus!

Call him out definitely!

A woman from the VAT office came and did an audit at one of my jobs, she said 'you don't look like you know what you're doing, but you do' ffs is that because I've got big tits and blonde hair ?

@Mansplanation please please do the gold stars! It will be much more fun

Dish out a gold star every time he explains a very basic concept to me? I feel he’s go home looking like Elton John..

Sounds to me like he’s a total, out of his depth, bluffer.

I worked with someone a bit like this but was a woman - expert bluffer, way out of her league but went for ‘quantity’ of content rather than quality when talking - so she would go on and on in miniscule detail about what she’d done. Never pitched anything herself, was always jumping on other people’s ideas. All,I think, to cover up that she was not very good at the technicalities of our specialism but could talk a very good game. V frustrating but we were on a time-limited project and once that finished, we all moved on.

Imagine my surprise 2 years later when I had moved to another company and her CV came across my desk confidently detailing her work at the previous company - except it was all my work! How I laughed (and then didn’t give her an interview).

Oh god, the wink! What a twat. I would have given him the death stare for that. Or asked him coldly if he had something in is eye. He wouldn't have winked at a man.

Please print off the mansplaining chart and leave it on his desk .

🤚🏻
Another hand up for the chart! (Definitely not placemarking).

um....

bit confused

why haven't you told him what's what? Is it that you're worried you will lose your temper or something?

Piff a bit of a bluffer for sure, he’s reassured me on several occasions that he’s asking basic questions because ‘the more complicated stuff is obvious, I just want to make sure you’ve got the basics right here before I go into more detail’

Sure you do.

"Yes I know I'm fucking awesome at this. That's why I'm moving up and if one day you can be patch on me, maybe you will have the same opportunity?"

Shart goblin 😂

I think if you do murder him you’ll have plenty of MNers on hand to give you an alibi!

@Mansplanation basically, yes. See my post on the previous page.
And you could give him the chart as an award for getting so many stars

Sorry no context, but I am sure you get what I mean

Tomorrow you MUST share with him your golden tips for success that have enabled you climb the ladder. Tips

1. Respect for colleagues
2. You don't know what you don't know.
3. Never adopt a patronising tone.

Every time he mansplains something, just say "Yes, I know". Every single time. Followed by "Just pop and get me a coffee would you, there's a love"

1. Don't be a shart goblin.

He's clearly goading you fgs and hoping you'll lash out. If you want to win his little game, don't play it.

lighthouse no, I’m worried he’ll leave out of embarrassment/ being rumbled and I’ll be stuck in the job until December. They’re letting me off my notice period early providing everything is handed over completely, so if he goes I’ll be stuck until they hire someone else/ until my formal notice finishes which is December 18th.

For the record I have fed back to senior team that I think he’s blagging a bit and needs some more support in role once I’m gone because I’m not confident he’s got the level of skill required and they’ve said they don’t mind, he’ll ‘grow into the role if needed’

Omg Mansplanation I would have lost it right there with that comment. You’re a better woman than me!

Sarcasm is never the adult or professional way of handling these situations, but it's often the way I choose

I'd probably go with reflecting his comments back to him and amplifying them for added effect. So, if he says "You're actually quite good at your job, aren't you?", then picks up a pencil, you say "You're actually quite good at picking up pencils, aren't you? It's so clever the way you managed that." Childish, but satisfying, especially if you have a sympathetic audience of other colleagues

OP, I don't mean say "I think you're out of your depth".

I was thinking that when he tells you how to do your job, you could raise an eyebrow and say "yes, I do the job, I know that".

Smile and then he can't complain about you being rude.

I don't think he'll cut and run due to a comment like that so I wouldn't worry. This stupid shit about "growing into a role" happens far too often - like they see a arrogant guy and think arrogance is a wonderful quality in a man and therefore he'll learn quickly, or something.

I'd just say, "aaaw, yes, you're learning!" and give an encouraging smile.