Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Mumsnet classics

Relive the funniest, most unforgettable threads. For a daily dose of Mumsnet’s best bits, sign up for Mumsnet's daily newsletter.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To Have Murderous Thoughts About Colleague?

590 replies

Mansplanation · 08/08/2018 20:34

I’m leaving my job and my replacement was hired, so I’m handing over.

Today he’s been reviewing my work over the last few months to get familiar with the accounts and when I asked how he was getting on, his reply was ‘it’s all quite good actually! I’m really surprised!’ Hmm

Later in the day, he commented that ‘you’re actually quite good at your job aren’t you?’

Then ‘well done, this looks like you planned it this way’

He also proceeded to explain my job to me in great detail. Over. And over. And over again. All the while, asking very very basic questions and eventually I said ‘yep, that’s very standard, have you not seen that before?’ To call him out on it and he replied ‘yeah I have, I just wanted to see if you knew why it’s done that way’

I DID FUCKING PLAN IT THAT WAY, IM VERY GOOD AT MY JOB AND YOU ARE REPLACING ME BECAUSE IM MOVING TO A MUCH, MUCH MORE SENIOR ROLE YOU INTOLLERABLE, MANSPLAINING SHART GOBLIN Angry

Somebody PLEASE lend me their willpower because I’m one ‘well done’ away from stapling a gold star to his fucking forehead.

I need to bite my tongue so I can leave and get to my new job but I’m really bloody struggling Sad

OP posts:
Original poster
Mansplanation · 08/08/2018 21:19

notevil I LOVE that chart. Hands up for printing that off and leaving it on his desk? 🖐

OP posts:
Justwanttoweeinpeace · 08/08/2018 21:19

What @FiestaThenSiesta said. x 100

tildaMa · 08/08/2018 21:20

Buy a sheet of gold stars on your way to the office tomorrow and every time he does it again, stick a star on his shirt and with a wide smile say in an overly enthusiastic way "Very good! Now that you got the basics right, do you have any questions?" or "Fantastic! So you know this already, let's now concentrate on !" etc.

LivLemler · 08/08/2018 21:21

Oh god I hate this. Once had a graduate with about five minutes experience praise my work which when I did something he couldn't. I'd been there ten years.

Gigis · 08/08/2018 21:21

Oh bloody hell then he really is a huge bellend.
Next best thing is to just him mansplain to you and then just repeat the last word he says to you over and over without emotion like a robot until he freaks out and goes away.

ProudThrilledHappy · 08/08/2018 21:23

As an alternative suggestion, why dont you womansplain (Grin) something incredibly obvious to him, at length, to see if he enjoys it?

Wincher · 08/08/2018 21:24

Oh god, I had a colleague like this - he came into a parallel role to mine, though in a different team. The worst was when we asked him to be on an interview panel when we were recruiting as we needed the panel to have a mix of genders, and he totally mansplained the whole interview process to my colleague and me. It took time but eventually I realised - by looking him up on LinkedIn - that he was younger than me and I have considerably more experience than him, and I eventually managed to convince him I know my stuff - not helped by a dose of imposter syndrome on my part. I now manage the team and his job was made redundant when it was absorbed into my team - and I don't feel bad at all!

Original poster
Mansplanation · 08/08/2018 21:25

Today I did actively consider just playing the cockwomble at his own game.. just go all out:

Him: I put budget in the account because I find....

Me: yes, and budgets are made of money. Did you know you can exchange money for goods and services? I find it’s the best way to handle client relationships. It’s much better when we get paid for our services don’t you think? But we don’t want to over spend the clients money, so using a budget can be really useful to stop that from happening’

Beat the fucker at his own game.

OP posts:
Homebird8 · 08/08/2018 21:25

I reckon you could get him to tell you exactly how corrective disfunction can be beneficially used in your field Grin

eddielizzard · 08/08/2018 21:28

excellent, but take out the 'don't you think?' because that will open the door for more mansplaining and then you'll be up for manslaughter.

Original poster
Mansplanation · 08/08/2018 21:29

Thanks vipers, you’ve made me see the funny side and my inevitable prison sentence is looking less likely now I’ve had a proper vent Grin

Now I want to play with it. How long do you think I can fuck with him before he figures it out? I also need ideas..

OP posts:
AynRandTheObjectivist · 08/08/2018 21:30

Don't do anything subtle like that. He will not get it. He will honestly think you are just really stupid. If you're doing it to amuse yourself, fine, but if you want him to understand what an absolute tosser he is, you need to be straight. Tell him that he is mansplaining and yes, as an accountant with years of experience who is now about to go into a more senior role, you do in fact understand the concept of accounting.

If you want him to get it, you need to be straight.

AynRandTheObjectivist · 08/08/2018 21:32

How long do you think I can fuck with him before he figures it out?

Until kingdom come. He will never figure it out. He is a mansplainer so his default explanation, unless you really wet-kipper-slap him with it, will always be that you are a woman, a YOUNG woman no less, and therefore you will be utterly thick and won't understand anything unless it's been penised into you.

If you do want him to know what he's doing, be straight. He won't work it out otherwise. He's ten times thicker than he thinks you are....

Original poster
Mansplanation · 08/08/2018 21:34

ayn that’s true.

For the person who mentioned he’ll probably make out like the accounts are a mess etc after I leave: I’ve thought of that. Whenever he’s ‘complemented’ me on my accounts, I’ve replied ‘thanks! Yes, I’m a stickler for best practice!’ Loud enough for my manager and a few other people to hear.

Plus, I have a very good reputation in the business and I’m leaving them in a much stronger position than I found them, so if he does try that shit he’ll be shut down very quickly. I’m also not going far, so if they need clarification on anything they’ll absolutely get in touch and I can put them straight if needed and can evidence everything for the last 5 years or so. He’s got no chance barking up that tree.

OP posts:
Graphista · 08/08/2018 21:37

Joking aside - I'd be livid at the outright lying re the bespoke system and would absolutely make clear to him I knew he was LYING and that it's a really bad idea to LIE to someone who knows the truth and that such behaviour can be construed as gross misconduct. Wink

Original poster
Mansplanation · 08/08/2018 21:38

I caught the eye of a guy who sits across from me during a particular long explanation of something simple and I saw him visibly wince Grin I’m not known for sufferzing fools gladly so I think he was expecting me to plant my feet. I didn’t and I didn’t respond to the eye contact because if I do and word gets round that there’s a problem it could delay my leaving and I REALLY want to get to my new job ASAP.

OP posts:
StrawberryDaiquiriPlease · 08/08/2018 21:38

Maybe ask if he's going to work in a primary school next and he's practising explaining things to young children.

Bibesia · 08/08/2018 21:40

I VERY NEARLY said ‘that’s literally accounting. You just explained accounting to me. Did you know I’m an accountant?

Why didn't you?

Anniegetyourgun · 08/08/2018 21:40

Oh, just kill the squirt and have done with it. You know you want to. Not a jury in the land would convict you.

Original poster
Mansplanation · 08/08/2018 21:42

Graph I’m in 2 minds about that. He could easily explain it away by saying he’d seen something ‘similar’, but not exactly the same uyswim. On the other hand, I’m started by to think he oversold himself at interview by several pay grades and he’s been winging it for a fair few years. I think he’s lied or at least overstated the extent of some of his previous experience.

OP posts:
BoreOfWhabylon · 08/08/2018 21:45

He definitely fancies you. Sorry.

You'll have to kill him.

Original poster
Mansplanation · 08/08/2018 21:46

bibesia because I’m leaving and part of me just wants to gallop off into the sunset flying a giant middle finger flag behind me.

Then the other part of me mostly just wants to embarrass him a bit, but I’m worried he’ll realise he’s rumbled and quit. If he does that, I’m in this job until December.

OP posts:
Andylion · 08/08/2018 21:48

I'd be livid at the outright lying re the bespoke system and would absolutely make clear to him I knew he was LYING and that it's a really bad idea to LIE

But was he definetely lying? Isn't it possible that he is just an idiot?

riiiiight · 08/08/2018 21:48

I DID FUCKING PLAN IT THAT WAY, IM VERY GOOD AT MY JOB AND YOU ARE REPLACING ME BECAUSE IM MOVING TO A MUCH, MUCH MORE SENIOR ROLE YOU INTOLLERABLE, MANSPLAINING SHART GOBLIN

Grin Grin I love this thread I truly do.

I interviewed him with my manager. At interview it’s difficult because you want them to explain things in detail so you can judge their experience level. He impressed me at interview. The shame blush

eek on reading that I wonder if actually the idiot is actually trying to prove to you his skillz as you're the one who hired him? Does he mansplain the other women in the office? If he does you should definitely call him a shart goblin. If not, you can smile politely like one does to an over eager 4 year old, yes yes, money GOOD. Budget GOOD. Deficit BAD..

riiiiight · 08/08/2018 21:50

But was he definetely lying? Isn't it possible that he is just an idiot?

This does seem plausible under the circumstances.

Swipe left for the next trending thread