To Have Murderous Thoughts About Colleague?

[Mansplanation]

I’m leaving my job and my replacement was hired, so I’m handing over.

Today he’s been reviewing my work over the last few months to get familiar with the accounts and when I asked how he was getting on, his reply was ‘it’s all quite good actually! I’m really surprised!’

Later in the day, he commented that ‘you’re actually quite good at your job aren’t you?’

Then ‘well done, this looks like you planned it this way’

He also proceeded to explain my job to me in great detail. Over. And over. And over again. All the while, asking very very basic questions and eventually I said ‘yep, that’s very standard, have you not seen that before?’ To call him out on it and he replied ‘yeah I have, I just wanted to see if you knew why it’s done that way’

I DID FUCKING PLAN IT THAT WAY, IM VERY GOOD AT MY JOB AND YOU ARE REPLACING ME BECAUSE IM MOVING TO A MUCH, MUCH MORE SENIOR ROLE YOU INTOLLERABLE, MANSPLAINING SHART GOBLIN

Somebody PLEASE lend me their willpower because I’m one ‘well done’ away from stapling a gold star to his fucking forehead.

I need to bite my tongue so I can leave and get to my new job but I’m really bloody struggling

5 min breaks are slightly different to starting a thread, reading replies and dedicating the time to give lengthy updates on every event during your day.

All of OP's posts yesterday were well after working hours, and today's posts started before working hours. Plenty of employers are fairly relaxed about these things provided that people get their work done, and certainly few are bothered about it during lunch and tea breaks. OP's said that she was posting partly to prevent herself losing it with the idiot; and I suspect that as she's winding down and, as she thought, handing over to someone else, she has a lower workload than normal.

Brilliant thread! Thank you, Mansplanation.

Gem from Rita today 'I'll see if I can meet at 10.30am. If I already have an appointment in there at 10.30am then I won't be able to meet'.

Really? That's the way time works, is it? Eh, Sherlock?

Just read this thread in one shot.

Good work op, congrats on the new job!

Alec oh, the irony... 😂

*Dh: Ha! Correctile disfunction!
Me:
Dh: That's another term for mansplaining.

Dude...!*. 🤣

😂😂

Dude...!

😂😆😂

What a glorious update to come back to today! What a shame theres no way of flagging someone as "REALLY check ALL his references", some other poor saps are going to end up with this muppet.

I hope there are some Mumsnetters in financial services who await Mr ShartGoblin’s application with trepidation.

You have done so brilliantly OP. He sounded like utter torture and I'm so glad he's gone. And yes, your manager does sound awesome. Both of you have a on me

Oh I do so hope that he makes an appointment to see a solicitor... and when he gets there he finds that his new solicitor is a woman

And a Mumsnetter!!

Well as nice as it is to be at the birth of a classics thread I'm not sure how I feel about the fact that I stupidly turned Shart Goblin into Shaft Gibbon and that I have pig tit fingers is now in the MNs archive. (It'll teach me to proof read better I spose!)

Go girl! Let him have it!

Go girl! Let him have it!

That’s a ‘I’m going sick for rest of my notice period’ moment. If he’s so bloody marvellous he can fathom the rest of it out

Keep focusing on the fact that you are moving on. You are also senior, tell him to stfu in a polite manner. I had a trainee far worse than that, who used to call colleagues instead of believing anything told him to do, so know how you feel. I had no chance of moving on in that job, so quit as it was depressing having to sit with him all day.

That’s a ‘I’m going sick for rest of my notice period’ moment.

And that's a 'rtft' moment.

Maybe he was nervous and couldn’t stop talking. I’d let it go and move on no matter how much you want to throttle him!

I have absolutely loved this.....I work with a shart goblin....it’s like he’s the new boy every single sodding day!!

I've just read the whole thread in one, and I've laughed from start to finish, you are awesome @Mansplanation I LOVE shart goblin, and pig tit fingers, I've been crying! I've spent my career in a male dominated environment and I always got mansplained, my DP does it to me too, I'm going to show him this thread and try not to laugh at the expressions on his face
Good luck in your new role OP, you're ace

Fucking hell - I must work with this wanker (shart goblin - har har!) too. As well as mansplaining EVERYTHING, he uses 'good girl' and 'well done' and (worst of all) 'see, you DO know what you're doing!' Utter dickwad.
He has also done the winky, clicky tongue thing but also did the special gun fingers with it like some 1970s throwback .
Came across this cartoon which I thought might raise a laugh. Apologies if it has already been posted!

Whoops - cartoon didn't post for some reason - sorry!

Congratulations, Mansplanation. You won the internet today 👏👏👏