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To Have Murderous Thoughts About Colleague?

590 replies

Mansplanation · 08/08/2018 20:34

I’m leaving my job and my replacement was hired, so I’m handing over.

Today he’s been reviewing my work over the last few months to get familiar with the accounts and when I asked how he was getting on, his reply was ‘it’s all quite good actually! I’m really surprised!’ Hmm

Later in the day, he commented that ‘you’re actually quite good at your job aren’t you?’

Then ‘well done, this looks like you planned it this way’

He also proceeded to explain my job to me in great detail. Over. And over. And over again. All the while, asking very very basic questions and eventually I said ‘yep, that’s very standard, have you not seen that before?’ To call him out on it and he replied ‘yeah I have, I just wanted to see if you knew why it’s done that way’

I DID FUCKING PLAN IT THAT WAY, IM VERY GOOD AT MY JOB AND YOU ARE REPLACING ME BECAUSE IM MOVING TO A MUCH, MUCH MORE SENIOR ROLE YOU INTOLLERABLE, MANSPLAINING SHART GOBLIN Angry

Somebody PLEASE lend me their willpower because I’m one ‘well done’ away from stapling a gold star to his fucking forehead.

I need to bite my tongue so I can leave and get to my new job but I’m really bloody struggling Sad

OP posts:
ApolloandDaphne · 09/08/2018 17:43

This is keeping me riveted. You can't go home now and let your followers down!

IncrediblySturdyPyjamas · 09/08/2018 17:44

If he is let back in, you need to show them the companies house info.

Anniegetyourgun · 09/08/2018 17:44

Perfect. Now you have two senior witnesses who can swear you weren't anywhere near the concrete mixer at the time of the incident and they can even help you tip him in

RightyHoChaps · 09/08/2018 17:45

I've just read all of this (been laughing my head off silently whilst my LO sleeps next to me) and NEED to know what is happening in that meeting room! Let us know OP when you can!

DianaPrincessOfThemyscira · 09/08/2018 17:46

Gutted.

Someone has already pinched ShartGoblin as a username Sad

Graphista · 09/08/2018 17:46

Hope the meeting is going ok. He couldn't really get away with covering his incompetence much longer.

But then I have to wonder why you/the company would hire someone who'd failed so badly when running their own business in the same industry! Surely that's a red flag right there?!

CoolGirlsNeverGetAngry · 09/08/2018 17:46

I wonder if hes trying desperately to claim that YOU have lied about him to them because you're so intimidated by his obvious superiority?

Fuck. I bet he is.

SadTrombone · 09/08/2018 17:46

Oh my god
OP for the love of all that is good in this world do not leave the office!
I have literally never been so invested in a thread before...

SadTrombone · 09/08/2018 17:49

"I wonder if hes trying desperately to claim that YOU have lied about him to them because you're so intimidated by his obvious superiority?"

Thankfully because OP has handled this so well and has several witnesses the only realistic outcome were he to try this tactic would be, IMO, him being laughed out of the office.

Cauliflowersqueeze · 09/08/2018 17:50

Come BACK OP!!!

What’s going ON?!!

TrippingTheVelvet · 09/08/2018 17:51

I can't cope with this. I'm going to have to go do the dishes to settle my nerves!

Lemonyknickers · 09/08/2018 17:54

I just love a MN thread that you click idley click on, not expecting much and get shaft gibbon, and a well deserved sacking

Coldilox · 09/08/2018 17:55

Shaft gibbon Grin

Graphista · 09/08/2018 17:55

Posted when you were hiding in loo.

What on earth is he thinking in coming back?! Hope your company has good security guards as I can well imagine a twat like this getting aggro. Plus he's probably feeling pretty desperate.

Lemonyknickers · 09/08/2018 17:55

Argh typos, sorry, too excited, can't control my pig tit fingers

Cauliflowersqueeze · 09/08/2018 17:56

I don’t think this is good news. He’s obviously not going quietly

kw1091 · 09/08/2018 17:56

So invested! What happened with the cock womble?!

Timeforabiscuit · 09/08/2018 17:58

Eeek, hope everyone is ok - having his ego pricked doesnt look like it wears well on him.

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 09/08/2018 17:58

This is what happens when you lie your way to a job. You get found out.

KeepServingTheDrinks · 09/08/2018 17:59

Shart goblin's killed the OP?????

YouTheCat · 09/08/2018 18:00

It wasn't really OP who blew the whistle though. I'm pretty sure management were quizzing him because they had doubts in the first place.

OneInAMillionYou · 09/08/2018 18:01

Hello OP
Great thread, reminds me of oh so many mansplaining examples in my field!

One thought. He sounds SO far out of his depth, has your HR team done a qualification check to see he has the quals he claimed on his Application?

I've had this happen to a team member, relatively junior so was only claiming AAT. Within a week of starting it became obvious to me that he didn't know his purchase ledger from his sales ledger! Yup, turned out he hadn't achieved the claimed qualification. (Nor his A level grades but that's another story! )

ShinyMe · 09/08/2018 18:02

Oooooh, what if SG's found this thread?

AynRandTheObjectivist · 09/08/2018 18:07

Oooooh, what if SG's found this thread?

Don't be so silly, there would never be any condescending, bullshitting mansplainers on Mums....oh. Oh. Oh.

CoolGirlsNeverGetAngry · 09/08/2018 18:08

Lost it at “pig tit fingers”