To Have Murderous Thoughts About Colleague?

[Mansplanation]

I’m leaving my job and my replacement was hired, so I’m handing over.

Today he’s been reviewing my work over the last few months to get familiar with the accounts and when I asked how he was getting on, his reply was ‘it’s all quite good actually! I’m really surprised!’

Later in the day, he commented that ‘you’re actually quite good at your job aren’t you?’

Then ‘well done, this looks like you planned it this way’

He also proceeded to explain my job to me in great detail. Over. And over. And over again. All the while, asking very very basic questions and eventually I said ‘yep, that’s very standard, have you not seen that before?’ To call him out on it and he replied ‘yeah I have, I just wanted to see if you knew why it’s done that way’

I DID FUCKING PLAN IT THAT WAY, IM VERY GOOD AT MY JOB AND YOU ARE REPLACING ME BECAUSE IM MOVING TO A MUCH, MUCH MORE SENIOR ROLE YOU INTOLLERABLE, MANSPLAINING SHART GOBLIN

Somebody PLEASE lend me their willpower because I’m one ‘well done’ away from stapling a gold star to his fucking forehead.

I need to bite my tongue so I can leave and get to my new job but I’m really bloody struggling

You go to the meeting and after with their concerns. If they've rumbled him and you like these people you cannot cover for him now. They need to be able to do their jobs too!

Agree, not after

Yes, it's kinder to do this now.

Go and face the music! You may have made a bad hire but you can't throw them all under the bus just so you can get to your other position. I know it sucks but that's how it is.

He put his hand up to shush his MANAGER, when he’s been in the job all of 30 seconds? That is one arrogant goblin.

I would speak to your manager and say you do have some concerns with his knowledge. You don’t want his incompetence reflecting on you. He’s just the type to pass the blame to you after you’ve left when it gets uncovered.

Put his hand up and raised his eyebrows?! Omfg! He’s been rumbled, big time. Shit hitting fan time, I fear.

You need to go and be honest with her. Tell her there are massive gaps in his knowledge and you fear he isn't up to the job. I know it means you may need to stay in the job longer but it is the most honest way to handle it.

Wow, this guy is a joke and a half. Sorry you're dealing with this OP, but better sooner than later I guess.

Thank fuck you mentioned he seemed out of his depth!

There is no way he is a competent fit, he shushed the senior!!!

Yes, you said you'd previously mentioned that you thought he wasn't good enough.

I really hate that "oh I know, I wanted to see if YOU know" bullshit. We all have better things to do with our time than endure pop quizzes on the topic of "are all women idiots".

I hope you are in the meeting room now

Anyone who thinks it's acceptable to put his hand up to tell off his manager whilst on probation is far too stupid to stay in the job.

It's also a bit noticeable that he seems to save his most patronising conduct for times when he is dealing with women who are senior to him. I'd be prepared to bet that he would never behave that way with a male boss.

Shart goblin

Crikey he's up himself isn't he? I bet all the accounting he's actually done is a savings spreadsheet for when he goes on his holidays & has been googling accounty sound bites on his phone when he goes to the loo.

Before I read your last update, I was going to say I think that you need to speak to your boss about the convo you had with SG and say you have some concerns but you are addressing them. Basically start laying the groundwork for telling them he’s hopeless. But it looks like events have moved on! Tell them everything.

Thank you for bringing the term 'shart goblin' into my vocabulary. Hope the meeting goes well!

Surely if you have handed your notice in and it’s been accepted, they can’t “make” you stay any longer even if this guy is a total idiot?

Come back OP!
I've got visions of you trying to escape incognito in the cleaners trolley or flush yourself down the loo to avoid this meeting.
Enquiring minds must know what's happened to SG!!!

I think he was saying he is employed as a consultant in order to make a swift exit.

I’ve gotten away with absolute murder.

Manager called me in and has APOLOGISED to me because she thinks SHE has made a mistake hiring him, and she doesn’t want her mistake to impact my moving jobs. We’d arranged a leaving date and she said because of that she doesn’t want me to have to mess new company around, so she’ll honour it.

Once that was out of the way I told her absolutely everything. I’ve spent the last 20 minutes laughing hysterically and slightly manically about my week and she’s in complete agreement that he needs to leave as soon as he can pack his belongings into his bag.

I’m currently sitting at my desk just waiting for her to pull the trigger. She’s planning to do it just before 5:30...

Bubbye Sharty.

He truly is the definition of a post turtle- where you see a turtle up on a post - you know he didn't get there by himself, he doesn't belong there, he doesn't know what to do while he's up there, and you just want to help the poor stupid guy get down.

POST TURTLE IS AMAZING.

Excellent outcome all round. TBH if she interviewed him with you and is the more senior then i guess ultimately the buck stops with her on hiring the ShartGoblin.