Oooo I received an anonymous letter this morning...from THE VILLAGERS 😬

[FlybirdFly]

Will post a pic later but need to redact info first.

An A4 page complaining about rubbish outside my house, that they’ve been picking it up for months, I have a responsibility to secure my rubbish and I have two weeks to get 2/3 wheelie bins or “measures will be taken”

It’s actually quite polite tbf if you ignore the subtle threat

Only problem is....it isn’t my fucking rubbish! We locked the gate to the field a few months ago and everyone now flytips outside the farm instead (by everyone I mean a few wankers) usually black bags that have missed the bin men/women. They use to chuck them on our farm bonfire but as the gate is locked they throw them on the bondary of my property. My rubbish is kept on my property until bin day.

Unfortunately they’ve missed all the signs saying we have CCTV so I’ll be having a look to see if I can see any pitchforks and angry villagers when I get back from the school run

I can’t believe your Parish Council pays for a bobby, how much is your precept?! just jealous really

That letter is crazy

I got some vibes. Let me know if anyone else gets the same vibes.

Male (threatening tone)
Older (language used/spelling etc)
Singular person
English

Do you live on a road with much foot traffic op? as in, would they have to drive past to see your rubbish pile or would someone casually stroll past?

OP do you live in a village whose name begins with "Midsomer"?

You need to complain the council, and highlight to the Parish Council, about fiytipping , non collection etc. Unfortunately like skips, one person's rubbish just attracts more.

It doesn’t say “measures.”

It says messures

'No Flytipping, No circulars, No anonymous notes. CCTV in operation'.

I had no idea anywhere had bins collected weekly. We’ve been on fortnight collections for ages now.

Is the author of the letter nearby as they appear to be bothered by the rubbish blowing in the wind?

Also I think they are someone who doesn’t have a pc as it’s handwritten.

I do hope you aren’t feeling threatened, this letter isn’t nice.

Village bobby not answering her phone but was last spotted down the creek

I have visions of Last of the Summer Wine.

You need more/wider cctv op!

Did the bobby have a paddle? Anyone in the ‘fascinaty ‘ of a creek without a paddle could be in real trouble!

Oh yes it's definitely an older man. Someone who's used to people saying "yes" to him. Retired CEO?

Loving your work with the watermark, OP.

I agree with PP that it's the work of one person, not a group. Involve the local Police - they should sort the flytipping out for a start!

I think you could probably make good use of your CCTV footage as well - was that letter hand-delivered?

Can you dust the page for fingerprints?

learning-center.homesciencetools.com/article/forensics-science/

Like a previous poster Im of the opinion the letter is the work of one person and yes, I have the image of an older male in mind.

Hopefully the Hot Fuzz police will be along to investigate shortly.

Oh yes it's definitely an older man. Someone who's used to people saying "yes" to him. Retired CEO?

I think its someone who'd have liked to be a CEO but wasnt. Someone who's worked in an environment where that kind of language is used - by other people.

@WindyWednesday our general rubbish is weekly, recycling and garden waste is fortnightly. We don't live anywhere particularly rural either.

I’m sure a retired ceo would be able to spell animals.

I think its a older man with an axe to grind. Which is why I think he was the one using the bonfire as a dumping ground. Now the gate is locked he has nowhere to dispose of his crap.

All I can hear in my head are the banjos from “Deliverance”

Definitely an older male, they love writing letters like this and getting frothy about stuff once they retire. I deal with planning applications and see this constantly even with the most harmless of development!

@poopsqueak

I’m getting similar vibes, but not maybe that he is particularly old. 50’s? But the ‘man’ bit is coming through clearly.

OP, best way to diffuse threats like this is publicise it widely. It’s juicy enough to snag the interest of anyone you show it to. Photocopy it, and plaster the town if you have to. Tell everyone that while it seems to have been written by someone with serious mental health issues, it doesn’t make the threats any less discomforting. Their utter lack of connection to reality is worrying, and goodness, what’ll they try next?

You’ll be publicising your innocence, the true situation and getting them in trouble in one move. Don’t get mad, get pasting!

I'm so glad that you agree that the fly-tipping is unacceptable and that measures will need to be taken. I presume this means you will be organising volunteers to come and patrol and litter pick? At the moment I am having to gather all the rubbish by myself and I'm very grateful of your offer of help. Please let me know the time that suits you best each week to come round

Love this reply

Wow, Stephisaur our council is trying to introduce three weekly collections. It’s bad enough with two weeks between collections. You are really lucky.

Older or home-bound male (time to be bothered about this stuff, instant resort to threats). Not with a high standard of literacy. Also poor social skills of course, as it didn't occur to them to talk to you. A net-curtain warrior!