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Original poster

Oooo I received an anonymous letter this morning...from THE VILLAGERS 😬

999 replies

FlybirdFly · 25/06/2018 08:06

Will post a pic later but need to redact info first.

An A4 page complaining about rubbish outside my house, that they’ve been picking it up for months, I have a responsibility to secure my rubbish and I have two weeks to get 2/3 wheelie bins or “measures will be taken”

It’s actually quite polite tbf if you ignore the subtle threat

Only problem is....it isn’t my fucking rubbish! We locked the gate to the field a few months ago and everyone now flytips outside the farm instead (by everyone I mean a few wankers) usually black bags that have missed the bin men/women. They use to chuck them on our farm bonfire but as the gate is locked they throw them on the bondary of my property. My rubbish is kept on my property until bin day.

Unfortunately they’ve missed all the signs saying we have CCTV so I’ll be having a look to see if I can see any pitchforks and angry villagers when I get back from the school run

OP posts:
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Original poster
FlybirdFly · 27/06/2018 22:26

An insider job 😳 nobody would suspect him, no reason to even notice him if I wasn’t looking!

OP posts:
Original poster
FlybirdFly · 27/06/2018 22:27

If it is all his rubbish farmer is going to go nuts we’ve been disposing and burning his rubbish for months!

OP posts:
clumsyduck · 27/06/2018 22:27

It’ll be dramatic when I grab the flytipping sod tomorrow

Grin bless you op, what a stress! you have kept us entertained though !

TheSassyAssassin · 27/06/2018 22:29

Talk about shitting on your own doorstep! What an idiot! Hmm Well at least you can hopefully put a stop to that - are you going to ask him about the bag of toothpaste tubes and dog poo? What exactly is he doing in that unit? Confused

alphajuliet123 · 27/06/2018 22:34

Yes, you must ask him about the toothpaste!

Is his rubbish domestic or from whatever business he runs?

Original poster
FlybirdFly · 27/06/2018 22:38

Well I’ve never seen a dog with him? So the dog poo is strange. He rents plant machinery. Not much call for toothpaste in that line of work I wouldn’t have thought.

OP posts:
Original poster
FlybirdFly · 27/06/2018 22:38

We only opened one bag, I’m tempted to go out and open the rest

OP posts:
Tistheseason17 · 27/06/2018 22:44

When you are done with this thread can we have a new one on the "supposedly" haunted farmhouse! Wink

KindergartenKop · 27/06/2018 22:46

You could use the CCTV to catch ghosties.

QueenOfThorns · 27/06/2018 22:49

And another thread on how to forecast the weather using poo an acorn in a glass of water

alphajuliet123 · 27/06/2018 22:50

Yes, the farmhouse must be pretty haunted if even the farmer doesn't want to live there. What's the story, i take it you haven't seen anything?

TSSDNCOP · 27/06/2018 22:50

Can’t you take it all back and leave it outside his Unit?

CflytippingF

Reaa · 27/06/2018 22:57

TSSDNCOP

Can’t you take it all back and leave it outside his Unit?

I second that suggestion

Jux · 27/06/2018 22:57

What an idiot! Give him hell, OP. Is it really mean that I think you should tell the farmer too?

fuzzyfozzy · 27/06/2018 22:58

But who wrote the note????!

Snoopysadog · 27/06/2018 22:59

GrinGrin

Original poster
FlybirdFly · 27/06/2018 23:01

Well the note is unsolved and I’m not planning on buying wheelie bins so two week countdown is still on.

DD says the farmer told her about the acorns. Something to do with moisture in the air and if they close or open you can tell if it will rain tomorrow. I don’t think the Metoffice need to worry about losing their jobs.

OP posts:
toxic44 · 27/06/2018 23:02

I had a letter from LCC saying I'd be prosecuted for rubbish left outside my back gate in the alleyway. Not my rubbish. I complained to LCC, was told, Oh we send those letters to everyone now and again.

Original poster
FlybirdFly · 27/06/2018 23:05

Haunted farmhouse:

There use to be a Rayburn in the kitchen and an old farmer who lived here. When we was getting on a bit one of the women down the lane would bring his dinner up and he was always sat in his armchair in the kitchen in front of the Rayburn. She turns up one day and he’s sat there as usual, she walks in starts chatting etc but he doesn’t say anything she goes over and touches his shoulder and apparently he just lurches forward dead as a door nail and already stiff as a board and falls on the kitchen floor. Apparently she swore blind his eyes were wide open and didn’t move off her once 😬

Anyway I’ve never seen anything, will happily walk around in the dark. So I reckon he didn’t actually want to live here as he’d be expected to do more work!

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Original poster
FlybirdFly · 27/06/2018 23:07

And there’s a old tale about a farmer banging himself from the oak tree after a bad harvest but that was years and years ago. Dick told me that story!

OP posts:
Original poster
FlybirdFly · 27/06/2018 23:07

*hanging!

OP posts:
Monkee4 · 27/06/2018 23:18

😂

Tistheseason17 · 27/06/2018 23:18

"Banging himself" made me snort!!!! Grin

rainbowfish55 · 27/06/2018 23:19

Thoroughly enjoyed reading this 👍🏻

TattyFrench · 27/06/2018 23:32

Bloody hell! That was a long flight from Cuba!

I can't believe the fly tipping farm bastard!! Bastard.

Juliet is being really flaky, you'd think she'd want to get her teeth into something other than dog poo. I think someone asked her to do something about the rubbish she said "it's not a police matter" and so Dave took things into his own hands.

It's a pine cone not an acorn. Acorns look like acorns and pine cones don't (my DD does the same thing hence my fascinating knowledge on the subject).