Oooo I received an anonymous letter this morning...from THE VILLAGERS 😬

[FlybirdFly]

Will post a pic later but need to redact info first.

An A4 page complaining about rubbish outside my house, that they’ve been picking it up for months, I have a responsibility to secure my rubbish and I have two weeks to get 2/3 wheelie bins or “measures will be taken”

It’s actually quite polite tbf if you ignore the subtle threat

Only problem is....it isn’t my fucking rubbish! We locked the gate to the field a few months ago and everyone now flytips outside the farm instead (by everyone I mean a few wankers) usually black bags that have missed the bin men/women. They use to chuck them on our farm bonfire but as the gate is locked they throw them on the bondary of my property. My rubbish is kept on my property until bin day.

Unfortunately they’ve missed all the signs saying we have CCTV so I’ll be having a look to see if I can see any pitchforks and angry villagers when I get back from the school run

Er I am close to Tiptree but no that’s not our village anyway I HAVE AN UPDATE

Have just been to parents evening at nursery. Red van mans van was parked on a driveway and guess who’s car was parked outside his house

The bloody village BOBBY

I have photos of this. Am trying to edit enough so I can post them but not sure of the legalities tbh

fly

Layer?

I used to live in Goldhanger many years ago. That was strange. never ever mention Jeremy Bamber, ever

They are in cohoots !

Just you against the rest of The Villagers, you're on your own now (well except for MN, we're all on your side).

So you think that RVM and Juliet Bravo are in cahoots - one way or another?!?! You should have popped in to see her with the note!

They are all in it together! Trust no one!

Remember Hot Fuzz!

X-posted!

Following.

This is better than Midsomer.

The cat is the ringleader. Red van and Bobby J are its henchmen/women.

Sounds like Midsomer Murders.

Iam riveted by this!

You cannot trust the locals. You need a kick-ass police person from The Met.

SEND FOR CRESSIDA DICK!!!

But if village bobby thought you were dumping stuff, surely she'd just pop along in her capacity as law enforcer and say "Oi stop walking past your bins and chucking rubbish on the road." and you'd say "It wasn't me," and it would all be sorted. She wouldn't need to bother finding a red van man who couldn't spell to be in cahoots with.

Next door neighbour possibly threw me off the scent of RVM as he knew he was guilty party. Phoning the PC has alerted Julia Bravo and they are currently discussing tactics.

I am going over to NDN to ask about the letter and dick. If I’m not back in twenty (he goes on a bit) call the proper police

Am taking G&T with me.

It will look like a normal thing but is a handy weapon in case it all goes down #forthegreatergood

Pic of G&T (in wine glass yes I know)

She has evidence it’s him and has gone to confront him!!!

I drove down a road by mistake the other day and noticed that two mattresses had been dumped between a field and one of those big roadside signs with arrows ( to show a bend). That wasn't your house was it?

That's not your shadow is it OP?

So hot fuzz, I'm surprised Juliet Barvo is not chasing some rouge swans/geese
Maybe the whole letter thing is a red herring and something bigger is afoot with the villagers and this is all a distraction...all for the greater good

Where is benedict cumberbatch when you need him, Sherlock would have uncovered the whole affair!

But, Evil, I don't think that Fly has had a chance yet to even speak to Juliet Bravo or show her the note

That's close enough to a proper G&T glass, Fly,

Unless neighbour warned RVM that he had been sprung, sending him in to a violent rage leaving NDN with no choice but to call Juliet Bravo on the secret mobile he uses to sext her on.

I've read 24 pages of this (wtf is Yeti Man doing in the CCTV shot?) and gone back and looked at the letter. The handwriting is very neat but not joined up. I think it's a woman's writing. I also think the letter has possibly been dictated, hence the use of obliques between words - the writer has written down what was said rather than choosing which word to use. It's an older bloke getting his daughter to write the letter.

Juliet Bravo needs to get everyone in the village to write down selected words from the letter. That'll eliminate those with decent spelling and grammar. Worked for Taggart when the murderer couldn't spell 'friend'.

Wowfudge, maybe it’s slender man and he sent the letter