Oooo I received an anonymous letter this morning...from THE VILLAGERS 😬

[FlybirdFly]

Will post a pic later but need to redact info first.

An A4 page complaining about rubbish outside my house, that they’ve been picking it up for months, I have a responsibility to secure my rubbish and I have two weeks to get 2/3 wheelie bins or “measures will be taken”

It’s actually quite polite tbf if you ignore the subtle threat

Only problem is....it isn’t my fucking rubbish! We locked the gate to the field a few months ago and everyone now flytips outside the farm instead (by everyone I mean a few wankers) usually black bags that have missed the bin men/women. They use to chuck them on our farm bonfire but as the gate is locked they throw them on the bondary of my property. My rubbish is kept on my property until bin day.

Unfortunately they’ve missed all the signs saying we have CCTV so I’ll be having a look to see if I can see any pitchforks and angry villagers when I get back from the school run

Windy - the parish clerk might be legit but ‘speaking up people sounds a bit dodgy.
Waiting to hear if OP has a cellar.

Janet was trying to get in my suitcase but now I can't find her! I'm just about to board, I'll try and shake her off. She obviously changed my typing too because I definitely wrote Haberpop. 🐓**

So we are all just waiting for PC Julia to call now?

I assumed the “up” bit was a typo for “to”.

Bins out Wednesday night? My gosh that's living dangerously.

I do like your flowery farm language. I would the dogs on these arseholes. Followed by the bull. That’s what my farmer uncle used to do.

Ignore the note, Chuck it in the bin Then think no more of them. If any further rubbish gets dumped on your property put it on the nearest corner and report it to the council as fly tipping. people do,not have time to deal,with this grief!

Beware if they come at night with pitchforks and flaming torches!!!Take pics of the flytipping, put up signs saying they are on CCTV,report it, leave it there, often, the people who flytip, dont use their brains, and throw away bank statements letters that can identify them, name and shame.

I had an anonymous letter once. I had a four year olds birthday party from 2 to 4 in the afternoon. The letter told me that the people in our village had moved there for peace and quiet and that they liked to nap in the afternoon without being disturbed by children. It was signed The Wise Old Owl. I would have liked to have introduced the wise old owl to the taxidermist!

This has reminded me of when I was an au pair and I put out the bag of rubbish the day before the collection. I didn't know you weren't meant too and we had a note through the door telling us to mend our ways . I was quite worried tbh.

OOH o.p. aren't you QUAKING IN YOUR BOOTS, at the comment...
"p.s. a copy of this letter is being kept" O M G !!! But seriously, the badly hand-written letter, and nonsensical comments, and total lack of any I.T. or computer generated letter tends to "out" the writer as an elderly person tbh. I feel you should "flood" the village (face-book?) with your very reasonable and sensible explanation, and ASK them all, if they can help to identify the perpetrator, as you are as keen as any one of them, to get THEM to stop it!!! Good luck! But DO be wary, don't forget, "a copy of this letter has been kept!"

Copy the letter and laminate in case you get the opportunity to post it somewhere. Keep calm - though I agree its very rude. These villagers may be able to help you..... !

Pass the popcorn please 🍿

Move to London.

Check and see If their is a neighbour called Miss Marple …. aha ….I always thought she was a serial killer myself ….obviously a reincarnation in your village with poison pen letters & ITS THE VICAR!!!!!

Oh dear, this has totally reaffirmed exactly why we've moved out of our village! Little England snobs always up for a fight, get out of my village mentality!!

Yes the rubbish isn't nice but just knock around your bloody house and actually talk, communicate-it really is that easy if you try!! It's just bully boy tactics-like the school playground!

It's usually some old 'Major' or a bloke in a cravat that is behind village hysterics. Check what you eat or drink though as it might get poisoned 😂😂😂

OP, are you in tiptree?

Tiptree is very near me, unless you mean one of the villages surrounding it, i can't see it being Tiptree.

aah, i remember them hiring their own police officer so just wondered :)

Ooooh, sounds a bit Wicker Man. I'd be afraid. Very afraid. Seriously, it makes me wonder about these "Villagers", who must live in an actual village in the actual countryside and fly tipping on the dusty lanes of our beloved country is a known problem so why they would think you might dump bags of crap and old mattresses on your own doorstep, so to speak, is a mystery.

sock

Did they? Sneaky bastards they like to think they live in a village but it is a small town

I want my own PCSO now !

Nah-Tiptree has a Tesco, Asda, The Cheap Shop and the jam factory- so don't think so from OP's description........

Have you checked Sunday mornings cctv??

Report fly tipping to the county council. They will remove it and it covers you in case of further complaints about rubbish that isn't yours. Report the note to the parish council and make them aware of the fly tipping so they can push the county council to deal with it. They will probably also be able to find out though the grapevine who wrote the letter (and the letter writer should have reported to the parish council themselves and got the council to write to you, instead of writing themselves!).