Netmums Sty-lee thread: Add your ticker here!

[morningpaper]

So let's chat and add our tickers. First person to say the word "arse" is disqualified.

How was your day?

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BABY NO 1 is FOUR YEARS and 245 days old
BABY NO 2 is 20 months and 12 days old

It has been 45 HOURS since I was last chased out of town with a PITCHFORK

I last OVULATED 3 days ago

It has been FOUR MONTHS since I last cleaned my Mooncup properly

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ahhhhhhhhh

LOL Somebody off NM came on MN for a recipe using minced beef - they said it 'looked interesting' - well most things would compared to NM wouldnt they

Does n e 1 no were i cn get 1 o dem supa cool fluffy pink steering wheel covers 4 ma golf?

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It has been...3 hours since I last applied some canesten to me fanjo

Ooh great some rivetting conversation, such a shame i have missed it all today. ive been so busey with my little darlings.

So what have you all had for your tea tonight? i have hd lots of lovely frozen veg and a nice organic birds eye ready meal (i think it was organic...it had veg on the box)

anyway, love to you all and loys of ((((hugs))))

shellywelly
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my first angel is 6 years 9months 14 days and 38hours old.

My adorable little darling girl (see i got one of each [smug]woohoo) is 2 years 9 months 136 days and 97 hours old

adad that is RUDE hun

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BEFORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AFTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today I have eaten 3456 WEIGHTWATCHERS POINTS and a small terrier

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(sorry)

whoops - missed the interval announcement..sorry babes ((hugs))

It's a photo MP, and I so want to share.
Delicious in its awfulness.

Everyone here is so lovely, I can't wait to log in every evening and bore you all rigid with my banality.

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1 week, 5 days and 6 hours since I talked about potty training in gruesome detail to my childless work colleagues until their eyes glazed over

My angel has had 83 stickers and 144 chocolate buttons for weeing in the potty

My angel has done 62 poos in his pants

It's the little gif with the pages turningn over that says 'dreaming of ten tiny fingers... hoping for a miracle... sprinkle me in babydust...' etc

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10 seconds since last grape
5 seconds till next grape
16 grapes left

SUGARFREE you mustn't

You know you mustn't

bad girl

===================================================== I have seen THREE physiotherapists about my weak pelvic floor

I won't,but it's killing me.

Kids say the funniest things - today my little tinker called the cat a tat. Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!! LOLOLOLOLOL!!!!! BLESSSSSSSS!!!!!

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It has been 12 hours 47 minutes since I last moved my a**e off this sofa.

It has been 11 hours and 59 minutes since I dropped the remote control so the telly is still stuck on ITV2 from when I was watching Judge Judy.

I know I know hun (((((hugs)))))

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Does anyone have wanna sell any hair straighteners for toddlers?

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It's 10 minutes since I fed the iguana
I've got every back issue of Closer magazine
Does anyone want to come to a Pampered Chef party?
3 minutes since I used moist toilet tissue
DH still not home, working late at Travelodge
30 seconds since I last texted him
20 seconds since I phoned Travelodge, now on redial
My pelvic floor just fell out

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OOOo they have an auto censor that turns naughty words into fluffy bunnies - even Mumsnet gets turned into MumsnUt
Here was a quote from someone trying it out
"sucking titsucking "fluffy bunnies" "blighter" stickheads wakers "iggle piggle" "fluffy bunnies" *sorry our swear filter does not like this word "ogres are like onions". Why are we not allowed to swear. Those fabulous ladies on mumsnut swear like sucking fishwifes / sailors and those "upsy daisies" don't get their sucking words censored
"upsy daisy" dick "fluffy bunnies" *sorry our swear filter does not like this word titty "suckwit"
Lets see if any get through "
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7 minutes spent reading threads on the Other Place
Jaw has dropped 8cm
Brain is melllting

Hi ladies. Did you miss me? I missed you, mwah mwah xxxx

Just wanted to share this quote my DH found today.
I think you'll agree, it's bootiful.

mwah mwah xxxxxx

'Happiness is...a cigar called Hamlet'

(Isn't that lovely? I just thought it was so unique and so lovely and so...true)

mwah mwah xxxx etc xxx

*INSERT PIC OF CLEARLY INBRED MAN IN DIRTY T-SHIRT SLUMPED IN ARMCHAIR INFRONT OF 'COUNTDOWN' (DRIBBLING.) **

They also have a little pink box at the top which says

" Report it
Please tell us if you see something that you think shouldn't be on netmums"

Shall I click and say "all of it"?
Might take my mind off that photo.

It has been 8 hours since my last Boden catalogue arrived.

My next Boden catalogue is due in 16 hours.

There are 25 empty white wine bottles on the top of the recycling box.

And 68 fruit shoot containers hidden under the newspapers.

Just 168lbs to lose before I can order a flippy skirt from the Boden catalogue.

INSERT 'amusing' picture of child eating a worm here.

(I saw a big thread where posters were testing the swear filter and the posters had lots of tickers with massive yellow ribbons on and prayers for the McCanns underneath each post)

PMSL RosaL, you are ME!

whizz, the testing of the auto-censor is superb - especially love the way everythign is fluffed rather than just starred out or replaced with 'golly' / 'penis' / 'wretched' etc

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3 seconds since last grape
22 seconds till next grape
4 grapes left

Sugarfree I just LITERALLY snorted Petit Filous out of my nose

It BURNS it BURNS

====================================================== 20 SECONDS since I snorted sweetened dairy product from nose