Haikus for the Lost

[FizzyGreenWater]

MIL on the long pole
Still got it at fifty six
Smash goes the artwork

Paddling pool in park
Hot wind delicious sunshine
Meltdown on way back

Haiku
You coo
We all coo, for Haiku

Fat Neighbourhood cat
Why won't your owners feed you
Oh do feck off cat

Teenagers party
Remarkably restrained
No one believes her

I cannot sleep
I tried to count the animals
But the lambs have been eaten

Five syllables first
Then seven then five after
Successful haiku.

Fat Neighbourhood cat
Has his own Twitter account
Self promoting cat

Why can't I move on?
Everyone else seems to have now.
I feel left behind.

I discover thread
Compose haiku at midnight
The washing up waits

I'm uninteresting
Please don't Ask Me Anything
I've nothing to say.

Driving me insane
My kids on school holidays
Hurry up autumn

A dreadful night's sleep
With oyster-poisoned husband
Still managed Parkrun

I’m watching tennis
This game is long and stressful
Which player will win?

Just can't stand football
I only like one player
Gary Lineker.

Gary Lineker
is a cheating scumbag so
why do you like him?

What sort of cheating?
On the field or in the sack?
Thought he was ok.

After a Google
I appear to have it wrong
My apologies

I have my eyes closed
DS puts sliders on me
Fuck, I'm wearing socks!

"Stop your dog barking!"
"But I haven't got a dog."
Malice or mistake?

Thank goodness for that
Faith maintained in footballer
(Rugby's still better)

Haikus are easy
But they don't have to make sense
Refrigerator.

Most times thing work out
Today I'm a shit parent
Things all went pear shaped.

Youngest packing for
Uni. Only yesterday
You were my baby.

Why won't your house sell?
I think you have too many
Stunt pineapples, Hun.

You DH adds milk
First in tea? Outraged for you.
Please LTB now!