Haikus for the Lost

[FizzyGreenWater]

MIL on the long pole
Still got it at fifty six
Smash goes the artwork

Cheeky fuckering
A great national pastime
For knobheads and twats.

A family weekend
Cramped, done in, in midwinter,
Gin is essential.

Butlins tomorrow
Why can't I sleep tonight then
Damned insomnia

Paying to attend?!
why do so many cheeky
fuckers do this stuff?

Stinking lodger pongs
so house smells like the sewage
works on a hot day

Don't like how she looks
Let's see a photo of you
You are just jealous

Cycling thirty k?
My flaps ache at the mere thought
So no way José.

Hooray it's raining
The fuckwits next door are quiet
Maybe they melted.

Broccoli all stalk
Why did I let my husband
Buy tonight's dinner?

I pee when I sneeze
Bloody hayfever's no help
Aloha Tena.

Must beat tolerance
into those who disagree
politically

Out without Tena
Quick, crossed legs brace position
And sneeze sneeze sneeze sneeze.

Will you just go to sleep
Stop running around your room
Toddler bedtime fail

First you shout at me
And hit me with your Teddy
Now you want it back?

I've found plastic straws
Recycle them, use them, or
Make my masterpiece?

Scary crocodiles
We're not even safe up trees
They will rule the world.

Harry's ginger waistcoat
Let The Firm down badly. Next,
A floral dress?

Have not read full thread
No time baby is crying
I long for showers

Best mate snogged a sleb
Ask me who but I won't tell
Is this fantasy?

Swollen cat food pouch
Maggoty infestation
Poke it with a stick

Of all the swearing
Fucknut is most underused
Mainly for weddings.

Go the fuck to sleep
Go the fucking fuck to sleep
So I can have a gin

The neighbour's new pup
It's training them through barking

They have not a clue.

They smashed up the bed
Left rubbish in the kitchen
Paying guests from Hell!

Can you please shut up
I don't even like football
I just want some peace