Haikus for the Lost

[FizzyGreenWater]

MIL on the long pole
Still got it at fifty six
Smash goes the artwork

Being on mat leave
Does not a slave make, you twat-
Good bye and good luck

Too many CFs
Impossible neighbourhoods
Just penguin bollards

All hail the Zilla
Whichever thread she graces
Makes for bunfight long

Let's ban Percy Pig
He makes your children get fat
Eat salad instead

Carpet fitter nobs
Cancel cancel cancel NOW
Get a rug instead

Clooney isn't fit
Beckham to man the waltzers
Brad Pitt is manky

Meal replacement shake
Will you really change my life?
Denied cake again

Hideous sandals!
Where can I buy stylish ones
That don't hurt my feet?

Ed Sheerhan outside?
Get thee a hammer and stop
The unkind wailing

Rogue apostrophes
I will unashamedly
Correct the chalkboards

Hurley, the numbers,
What did it all mean anyway?
We will never know.

I've cut my own fringe
My husband does not like it
What do you all think?

Comfy summer shoes
Fond memories from childhood
Love my "Red or Dead"!

Neighbour and girlfriend
I am tired of them shagging
In his Fiesta

😁

Loving the haikus
Just call me the Pom Pom Hun
A mumsnet cliche

My pergola would
Be wisteria-adorned
But would it look daft?

Crying with laughter at these

Summer shoes for teens
Boys will only wear trainers
Or Adidas slides

Yoko Ono is
So much better at writing
Haikus. Grapefruits weep.

GCSEs, sigh,
Nearly finished, thank heavens
Loafing beckons, soon.

Just a kids' party,
Ruined by her arrogance.
Fuck off, Softzilla.

Downpipe or Dutch pink?
Archive or current colour?
Damn those fancy paints.

Whisky in my hand
Tingles the roof of my mouth
It's better than gin.

@ screamingvalenta

Such ancient stems as grace
Magdalen’s old New Building
Perfect any space