MIL and her picnic hamster

[insancerre]

On a visit to MIL for her birthday
She told us SIL has bought BIL a picnic hamster as a present
After several silent moments during which DH and I tried desperately hard to contain ourselves and not look at each other, she finally announced it was in fact, a picnic hamper
DH calmly said " a hamster is a small, furry creature"

It's comedy gold here
Any good MILisms where you are?

Not mil but dfs eccentric old cousin paints with Mongolia paint and eats sneakers chocolate bars 😂😂

Friend's ddad had a lump on his head which the hospital were investigating. He told be he had an appointment for an 'autopsy' on his head.

My late Mum, who was rather eccentric, frequently got her words muddled up. One example is Dulux, Duralex (IIRC a French version of Pyrex ware) and Durex. I gather she had some quite interesting conversations in her local 'stocks-everything' hardware store

My gran once bailed up a sales person asking where she could get “Some good VD’s”

Poor bloke

He ended up helping her find some lovely DVD’s

I've got an ex that used to say he loved sex because it released lots of dolphins. He meant endorphins

Maybe he just had really big sperm??🤷🏻‍♀️

@PanPanPanPing 😂 has she been talking to my dd?? Dd (15) recently came up to me & dh and said "when you guys get paid, can you buy me some durex please? I might need alot tho"

Fyi, it turns out she wants to paint her bedroom

Feeling hungry so would love a doubledicker and some stiffy cocky pudding

"has she been talking to my dd??"

Not in recent years, Ginosaji, no!

Oh crap, so sorry @PanPanPanPing i missed the first bit, hope I didn't upset you

Don't be daft - of course you didn't upset me - no need to apologise! Mum died a good few years ago, and actually it's threads like this - and RL conversations - which help me remember all the lovely - and funny - things about her.

Oh thats good @PanPanPanPing means your remembering fond memories that will make you smile 😊

I was half-wondering whether you might be one of Mum's goddaughters, one of whose DD would be about 15 now (I'm ashamed to say I can't remember), but I wouldn't have put it past Mum to have had one of her hilarious conversations about paint in front of the goddaughters much younger DD some years ago

Back in the 80s, my Nana genuinely thought a news journalist was referring to shites in the Middle East.

I once told FIL who'd offered to do some decorating for us to get some Durex paint.

@PanPanPanPing i was never christened so not me lol

@Pippinfi it must be catching, when me & dh refused to buy her durex she asked why we were being mean by saying no and laughing our heads off (she had mentioned decorating a few days previously so we realised at once what she was trying to ask for)

To be fair to her once we explained she looked horrified that she has asked her parents for such a thing and then joined in the laughter

Who would believe in rural Suffolk they have gerbils in the church flowers this week! Gerberas I believe

My gran once asked some of her young grandchildren if they wanted to watch Willy Wanker on tv, much to the surprise of the adults in the room.

@moralminority 😂😂😂 sounds like the title of a really bad porn movie

at these

Christmas moose = reindeer surely?!

My mother was once discussing that there were water shrimps coming out of the taps and we'd caught one in the water filter (harmless I sects in the water supply). She then turned and said we didn't used to get these orgasms in the water....

I'll have a glass of that please!!

Hi MNers,

This thread has been nominated for classics, so we're moving it there now. It made us all chuckle at MNHQ!

My MIL’s corner shop is CostCutters. She calls it CockCutters.

@Lolimax i think i love your mil

@3luckystars it’s definitely not called a cockadoodledoo...

My dm announced to me the other day that she is ‘such a slut’ she meant of course in the old sense that she isn’t a big fan of housework..

My mil was telling once me how she saw on the news that "these tambourine parks were dangerous "!

I know it’s not called a cockadoodledoo but I had the children with me and my mother kept saying, ‘look at your fathers cock, isn’t it huge? He had it out on the table last night and I couldn’t believe the size of it. He is just thrilled with that cock’ so I was so embarrassed I kept calling it a cockadoodledoo to stop it. I was like a tomato