Apparently, I'm Dead.

[BigFatFanny]

I woke up this morning and casually checked my facebook feed, to find 12 messages from people I haven't seen in years telling me to rest in peace and letting me know how missed I'll be.

At 5:30 in the morning as I rose bleary eyed, the thought did cross my mind that i had in fact died and if I had, did that mean I could go back to bed?

Alas, after a swift pinch test, it appears I"m very much alive.

Of course I've posted a status confirming I'm very much alive and called my family to confirm I'm fine, and I've sent a few messages to the people who posted on my feed to ask why on earth they thought I died? So far, no replies but the day is still young.

This is what I've got so far:

As far as I can tell with the exception of 3, I went to school with the majority of the mourners and haven't spoken to them in years. The working theories are:

Me: There's been some form of school reunion and someone has spread the rumour that I've died without realising half the people there have me on Facebook. Motive remains unexplained.

DH: Someone is plotting to kill me and is testing the waters to see how many people would miss me...

DF: It's the government. No further explanation required, apparently

DM: Bad taste practical joke

DSis: Aliens.

I'm hoping to get replies from the people I've messaged ASAP and trace the source of my untimely demise, but not having spoken to most of them in years I'm not sure how responsive they'll be.

The suspense is killing me! (excuse the pun )

@BigFatFanny please start a new thread. This one’s nearly full!

You have too many MumsNetters waiting for updates!

Can you & DH film a 'reverse' Ghost potters wheel scene & put it on Facebook? Could DH & band do the song?. Very funny thread but feel a little sorry for M0. You've been an absolute star!

£16?

My husband thinks your husband is hilarious. Because he'd do exactly the same if I woke up dead. They'd get on well!

Weezol my mum's got that, I have to text that to her, it's brilliant! 😂

Is anyone else humming "Flagpole Sitta"?

They cut off my legs now I'm an amputee God damn you.

Please start a new thread!

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3167959-Apparently-I-m-Dead-The-Afterlife?watched=1

I love Flagpole Sitta and will now be humming it all day...

Before messaging her, I would’ve been tempted to have worn a white sheet and deathly makeup and ‘floated’ past her house a few times!

#RelationshipGoals

Years ago I had a letter addressed from a firm of solicitors on a property we rented to the "Executors of XXXX"

I looked up that famous quote from Mark Twain " the report of my death was an exaggeration" and used that in my opening reply

The solicitors reply did not make any mention...I was a little disappointed

I just googled your name to see if you were indeed dead on the internet somewhere - I didnt quite get the response I was looking for OP!

I got told that my friend x had died in my first year at uni. People had died through car accidents etc, and in one sad case, falling out of a window at a party. I didn't know him well enough to enquire further, was just a bit sad as he was cute. Eighteen months later, literally bump into him in the laundry in Halls. Point out he's supposed to be dead. He, unsurprisingly, points out he isn't and didn't even know people had thought he was... (reader, I married him...) We've never worked out where the rumour came from.

Polly, that's a fantastic story!

polly there’s a film plot there somewhere!

Best thread I’ve read on mumsnet so far OP. Thanks for sharing. Ribs aching.

Have you logged this with 101

Now see, i would have used that to my advantage
Oh im dead am i? well sleep in for me, refuse to do housework or take calls. I mean dead people dont clean or talk lol
I could see this being a good thing

This is the best thread i've read. Glad you not dead OP

One of best threads I ever read, it had me laughing out loud disturbing my 3 year old did and cheered me up, glad your still alive op.

.

....and the thread is dead