Apparently, I'm Dead.

[BigFatFanny]

I woke up this morning and casually checked my facebook feed, to find 12 messages from people I haven't seen in years telling me to rest in peace and letting me know how missed I'll be.

At 5:30 in the morning as I rose bleary eyed, the thought did cross my mind that i had in fact died and if I had, did that mean I could go back to bed?

Alas, after a swift pinch test, it appears I"m very much alive.

Of course I've posted a status confirming I'm very much alive and called my family to confirm I'm fine, and I've sent a few messages to the people who posted on my feed to ask why on earth they thought I died? So far, no replies but the day is still young.

This is what I've got so far:

As far as I can tell with the exception of 3, I went to school with the majority of the mourners and haven't spoken to them in years. The working theories are:

Me: There's been some form of school reunion and someone has spread the rumour that I've died without realising half the people there have me on Facebook. Motive remains unexplained.

DH: Someone is plotting to kill me and is testing the waters to see how many people would miss me...

DF: It's the government. No further explanation required, apparently

DM: Bad taste practical joke

DSis: Aliens.

I'm hoping to get replies from the people I've messaged ASAP and trace the source of my untimely demise, but not having spoken to most of them in years I'm not sure how responsive they'll be.

The suspense is killing me! (excuse the pun )

‘totally mad, who would fancy DH?? 😂

I’ve been v poorly today and you have absolutely no idea how much I have enjoyed this thread.

Thanks for everything OP, you were a great bigfatfanny, and I will miss you greatly.

perfectly neither, they are CREEPY.

The best one was the one he had when we got married.. he came back for his stag do with the toenails painted neon pink

Oh BigFatFanny, don't use the savings for his new foot, let MrBigFatFanny cash in the life insurance instead

I read the thread worrying that you are someone i was at school with. Two reasons: there's been a Facebook event planned for my class reunion and someone in my class was reported as dead about 10 years ago but nobody knows for certain if they are actually dead

Must be more common than I thought...

lurking oof that was cold! You’d fit in well here

SiL is (if possible) even darker than DH and I and when they were kids she used to tell other kids she’s been trying to roast and eat her baby brother but had only managed to chew off his foot before she realised how gross he tasted.. I fully blame MiL for the sicko’s she raised

If you do LTB, can I have him please. He sounds lovely :)

I'm thinking Charlie Humman as Jax Teller in Sons of Anarchy would be a perfect choice to play your DH.

That's sad about the foot when he was a baby. His Sister must have felt awful as it sounds like she was only trying to help in the way that kids do.

Sometimes I think Facebook is the work of a devil. My friend's Sister actually managed to have a big fall out with her DH on FB whilst they were both in the same house at the same time. That's crazy.

Please please please BFF, if we run out of space start a new thread to tell us all about the .

Neon pink prosthetic toenails. His mates sound brilliant too!

Hmmmm. Autocorrect deleted the fwake.

Fekko's story (sorry, I know it was pages ago. I'm trying to catch up) reminds me of the time I cut my fingers at school. It was admittedly quite bad but by the time the story had passed from my school to the school my Mum taught at and down through the kids to their parents, Mrs BlathersMum had had to rush off because her daughter had cut her fingers > cut her fingers off > cut her arm off> cut her head off - and was dead.

It was a good story at least :D

Gosh, I'm really sorry you're dead and that your old school acquaintance is a nutbar, but thank you for the entertaining thread and I think I love you. And me and my DH want to be best friends with you and your DH. You're not anywhere near Sheffield are you? Fancy hanging out with a pair of morbid sense of humour goth nerds?

Funny and missing a foot?

OP is your DH Adam Hills?!

So funny PP

You should have messaged them back a cheery Thank you, it's lovely up here.

Just for the shock factor.

This thread has really made my day. OP, you and your DH sound great fun,love your combined sense of humour.

You've handled all this brilliantly BFF, she sounds like a total nutter, your husband sounds lovely!!

CaveMum I'm a bit cross that I didn't think of that first! 😂

Great thread! DH thinks he and your DH would be great friends lol. Ever go to any bike rallies lol?

You made it to Classics. Well done. Brilliant thread.Sorry we are all revelling in your demise.

This should go to the Mumsnet classics!!!

I am pissing myself laughing.. 😂😂😂😂😂

#MI5t

Best MN thread for ages!

With your newfound wisdom how do you wish you had spent your final days? Any regrets?

Just sat and read through all 37 pages and haven't laughed so much at a thread in ages.
I think fanny should make it a regular thread - guess where I've hidden dhs foot and what did he call me for taking it.

It would be a bit like where's Wally.

😂 oh this has been amazing! BFF and Mr Viking Death Metal you sound great!

guesswhosback It is in Classics.

OP is your DH Adam Hills?!

Cave man i wondered that myself lol