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Original poster

Apparently, I'm Dead.

999 replies

BigFatFanny · 13/02/2018 08:21

I woke up this morning and casually checked my facebook feed, to find 12 messages from people I haven't seen in years telling me to rest in peace and letting me know how missed I'll be.

At 5:30 in the morning as I rose bleary eyed, the thought did cross my mind that i had in fact died and if I had, did that mean I could go back to bed?

Alas, after a swift pinch test, it appears I"m very much alive.

Of course I've posted a status confirming I'm very much alive and called my family to confirm I'm fine, and I've sent a few messages to the people who posted on my feed to ask why on earth they thought I died? So far, no replies but the day is still young.

This is what I've got so far:

As far as I can tell with the exception of 3, I went to school with the majority of the mourners and haven't spoken to them in years. The working theories are:

Me: There's been some form of school reunion and someone has spread the rumour that I've died without realising half the people there have me on Facebook. Motive remains unexplained.

DH: Someone is plotting to kill me and is testing the waters to see how many people would miss me...

DF: It's the government. No further explanation required, apparently Hmm

DM: Bad taste practical joke

DSis: Aliens.

I'm hoping to get replies from the people I've messaged ASAP and trace the source of my untimely demise, but not having spoken to most of them in years I'm not sure how responsive they'll be.

The suspense is killing me! (excuse the pun Blush)

OP posts:
Mindhunter · 13/02/2018 08:34

You haven't upset anyone have you? My great aunties husbans got a load of condolence cards from her son's exes family as her grand daughter told them she had died. To make it worse it was her 80th birthday. It was all because they had fallen out over something. The exes family felt awful for it.

Anyway enjoy the afterlife

Dadstheworld · 13/02/2018 08:34

Are you ok hun?

Rewn7 · 13/02/2018 08:34

Also once I had heir hunters tracking me down due to my deceased Aunt who’d died without any children..... only she wasn’t dead and my cousin would be offended to be told she didn’t exist!

Turned out the poor lady who’d died shared a name and birthdate with my Aunt but different birthplace. Somehow the nursing home fucked up the death certificate and my Aunt has to spend ages proving she was alive!

StealthPolarBear · 13/02/2018 08:35

Op you do know if you vanish on this thread we'll all think the worst don't you? :o

Original poster
BigFatFanny · 13/02/2018 08:36

dadstheworld I'll PM you hun /sadface/

OP posts:
Tour · 13/02/2018 08:36

How bizarre. Is your namesake on Facebook?

SchoolMoney · 13/02/2018 08:36

Do you go by your married name? If you had the same name as someone else in school might someone have seen an obit for someone with your name and husband's surname and thought it was you even if you don't use it? Might be worth a Google aswell.
I did have someone stagger backwards in a pub toilet before saying 'OMG....YOU'RE NOT DEAD!!!!'. That was odd..

Snowydaysarehere · 13/02/2018 08:36

Here's a Wine to enjoy in your coffin.

luckiestgirl · 13/02/2018 08:36

Maybe spam has been sending your contacts a message saying you’re dead? —clutches at straws—

FYC · 13/02/2018 08:37

I’m sorrry for your loss.

What a great mystery. Death certainly becomes you, it’s brought out your cheekbones beautifully.

KitKat1985 · 13/02/2018 08:37

RIP OP. Grin

Lj8893 · 13/02/2018 08:37

How bizarre!!

notapizzaeater · 13/02/2018 08:38

I've always wondered what people would say about me after I'd died, hope they said nice things 😀

Bizarre, have you posted. A picture of you holding today newspaper up to prove you are alive and kicking ?

Original poster
BigFatFanny · 13/02/2018 08:38

I'm married but I kept my name, namesake is in a relationship but unmarried according to FB status so we still share a name. Her last post was yesterday at 10:30pm bemoaning the windy weather, ominous?

OP posts:
Idontdowindows · 13/02/2018 08:40

I must say, I've been in some weird situations, but I've never died.

Sooooo, what's it like!? Grin

Kitsandkids · 13/02/2018 08:41

At least they all told you they'd miss you, I suppose!

Original poster
BigFatFanny · 13/02/2018 08:41

notapizzaeater no but that's an excellent idea.

I've had a message back form one of the most recent mourners but it's unhelpful:

"OMG I'm so sorry, I saw MOURNER 5 (M5) post as it came up in my feed so I went to your profile and a few people were posting. Sorry!"

OP posts:
dingdongdigeridoo · 13/02/2018 08:42

RIP bigfatfanny. I’m playing candle in the wind for you hun.

Hassled · 13/02/2018 08:42

I also want to know the manner of your death. Did you pass away in your sleep at home surrounded by your loved ones or were you garroted in a freak accident involving a giraffe and a hovercraft?

SingaSong12 · 13/02/2018 08:42

So sorry for your loss. Maybe you need to go on one of those retreats to exotic place to really find yourself again. More seriously check with someone that your email/Facebook hasn't been hacked (maybe more likely someone else in the group),

Liskee · 13/02/2018 08:43

For what it's worth, I'm with your DF. It's the government for sure.

PipGirl404 · 13/02/2018 08:44

Fly high angel, u r in peace now xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

GiveMePrivacy · 13/02/2018 08:45

"RIP sweet angle. Fly high hun xxxxx thoughts and prayers"
ROFL!

SmileSmileWineFlowers Sorry, wish there was a 'Like' button!

Only1scoop · 13/02/2018 08:45
Grin
lecossaise · 13/02/2018 08:45

"OMG I'm so sorry, I saw MOURNER 5 (M5) post as it came up in my feed so I went to your profile and a few people were posting. Sorry!"

Sorry doesn't seem like the right word for the situation, surely congratulations on your continued vitality are in order?