Apparently, I'm Dead.

[BigFatFanny]

I woke up this morning and casually checked my facebook feed, to find 12 messages from people I haven't seen in years telling me to rest in peace and letting me know how missed I'll be.

At 5:30 in the morning as I rose bleary eyed, the thought did cross my mind that i had in fact died and if I had, did that mean I could go back to bed?

Alas, after a swift pinch test, it appears I"m very much alive.

Of course I've posted a status confirming I'm very much alive and called my family to confirm I'm fine, and I've sent a few messages to the people who posted on my feed to ask why on earth they thought I died? So far, no replies but the day is still young.

This is what I've got so far:

As far as I can tell with the exception of 3, I went to school with the majority of the mourners and haven't spoken to them in years. The working theories are:

Me: There's been some form of school reunion and someone has spread the rumour that I've died without realising half the people there have me on Facebook. Motive remains unexplained.

DH: Someone is plotting to kill me and is testing the waters to see how many people would miss me...

DF: It's the government. No further explanation required, apparently

DM: Bad taste practical joke

DSis: Aliens.

I'm hoping to get replies from the people I've messaged ASAP and trace the source of my untimely demise, but not having spoken to most of them in years I'm not sure how responsive they'll be.

The suspense is killing me! (excuse the pun )

Oh wow, I hadn't thought that through - an attic full of legs is creepy enough but a loo full of feet is EPIC!

Kudos to your MIL that she raised such a pair of ghouls!

imagine this is heaven op and you still have to cook the dinner and fold the knickers

I'd be well pissed.

Oh dear I did say she sounded bonkers and not in a good way. I'm sorry that I turned out to be right. Meanwhile your DH rocks. And so does your SIL.

Oh OP...I went off to work at lunch time and all the drama unfolded while I was there!

I do think you and MrBFF Have a fab combined sense of humour. DH has been questioning why I’ve been cracking up ever since I got home! I would disengage from M0 now. She sounds very troubled! I’d suggest he blocks her and report to the police if she tries anything else!

I too wondered if he’s Adam Hills..

I think we should start a thread on Friday night 'Fanny's Fake Wake' for those of us who can't actually go to the 'awake'
BYOB!

here to dhs new and improved foot and to hnis new spice girls shoes]

you know we'll need a pic of this now op

Ya know, there was a Criminal Minds ep where a killer put missing posters of his victims up before he kidnapped them. I wonder if M0 is plotting to do something similar.

Either, she sounds like a nutter.

I want your feet! They will look fab on the shelves which are the first thing you see when you enter our house. I can't think of a better display. The shelves currently display dd's pottery from when she was 3 up to 17. But feet would be better by far.

OP I was going to post on this thread right at the beginning and got distracted by DCs then spent the day driving around Norfolk anyway, I wanted to suggest a zombie cake smash where you appeared from your funeral cake like a Phoenix from the flames, but I see things have, er, developed

You guys sound hilarious.

Are you still dead OP?

Passing thought, BFF, tell me you name changed for this? Because it's, shall we say, 'quite outing'.

Unless there are a lot women with one footed Viking musician husbands and a collection of prosthetic feet in the downstairs loo? Hopefully if you were to suddenly panic about being outed, you could just ask MN to change the user name on it, so we can keep it in classics.

I giggled all the way through this thread but I absolutely lost my shit at "Where's my bastard foot you sadist" 🤣 😂😂😂😂

Please be my friends. I'll pay you 😂😂

@InsomniacAnonymous yes it is thanks

Maybe I am dead 💀 🤦🏼‍♀️

Yes Bollocks, how can my DH not find that funny?

The shopping brought back by DH was really quite suspicious.

Please think carefully OP if he goes on to offer a choice of [caterpillar] cake or death?

What did M0 say to M1 though? Is she denying the whole thing??

"class"

You Northern Irish OP?

\m/ \m/

I do like a bit of Viking, also dark humour. I have an ileostomy (bag) and in the pub I once told my mates squeamish, twatty now X if he carried on bullying and swearing at her I could and would prove I could shit in his pint without unzipping my jeans. He went all white and wobbly.

I'm loving the idea of calling in dead

Your H has to be allowed to have some fun with this surely?!

I asked that too @ReturnOfTheBing ....

@ginyo you know if she is then one of us is definitely related to, or went to school with, her or the mad M0

Best thread ever OP.

Rest in peace!

Hi op just read most of the thread and I don't normally comment as new but WOW just wow I'm shocked to say the least

😁😁😁😂😁😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😁

You have the feet in a row...what about the ducks?