There is a lipstick going around in the washing machine that isn't mine.

[AManWalksIntoABarOuch]

100% certain dh is not having an affair so who does the lipstick belong to and how on earth will I get it out of the washing as the lid has come off (presumably in the machine) and I'm guessing it will be all over it now. Luckily it was a dark wash. I've stopped the washing machine and put it on drain.

When I was in my 20s I thought I had a huge hard bogey up my nose.

Got a tissue and started to blow.

Fished out a strange lump of metal.

No idea what it was or where it came from.

I had one of my head hairs on my leg. Tried to brush it away but it was stuck, pulled and it came away with a stinging feeling leaving a little hole. Somehow it had folded and twisted to make a point and dug itself in.

Heard a story of a lady with a long continuous stitch for a csection with a bead on each end (never seen one, how it was described to me)

The student removing it cut both beads off instead of one, and the stitch (elasticated maybe?) retreated into the wound and reappeared months later as an itchy little bump that she pulled out with tweezers!

@Redsippycup

I had that kind of stitch for my second CS. It came out fine but there was an issue with ingrown hair along the scar.

I heard an alarm going off and followed the sound to the washing machine, where my son's bedwetting alarm was merrily whizzing around, still attached to his pajamas. Amazingly it survived (good job, as it was NHS issue).

The leg and fanny hair was getting a bit much so had a a wee shave, came downstairs and saw this thread and had a wee joke with dh that id start sprouting pubes out my ears... three days later I have a big lump where my ear lobes attach. Its going to be a beauty right?!

I'll join the pencil lead brigade, in my left palm after leaning on a pencil stood up in an inkwell at school. I always hoped it would come out, but it seems to be retreating further in the older I get.

When I was about 10, my ear had been feeling funny for a while, and during lunch I gave it a scratch and a raisin popped out. Covered in wax and everything, but definitely a raisin. I didn't eat raisins, and neither did anyone in my family.

Oh, and being a total sporner (I have just learnt that word through this thread, fricking like finding a long lost relative this!) I cannot leave ingrowing hairs alone. I was about 15 and got a really bad one on my bikini line which got proper big. Sitting on the loo having a wee and had a squeeze and the thing just exploded and a big ball of pussy bloody goodness hit the bathroom door with a pretty impressive squelchplop. 8 foot away.

@fpurplea "squelchplop" is just brilliant.

Whilst we’re sharing personal sporn-y memories.... when I was about 11/12 I had some weird dry itchy skin inside my ears (the whole inside of the ear flap) and whilst walking through the school grounds and having a mindless itch the whole lot came away in one massive flake - like a perfect cast of my whole ear flap in gross flaky skin. I didn’t know what to do with it - had an urge to keep it but being at school had nowhere to put it! I remember being really sad at having to put it in the bin.

meanwhile in the news...

www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2018/jan/02/crohns-disease-patient-in-fact-had-sauce-sachet-perforating-intestine?CMP=fb_gu

Coming late to this thread but my DS who is 10 has a suspicious lump on his knee that he's had a DS months and a strange bruise that's just appeared under his thumbnail this week.

I can't wait for him to get up so o can have a good prod

Anyone fancy beansprouts?

m.youtube.com/watch?v=UnqtY2enrUs

Years ago I worked with horses full time. Many an hour spent in the pissing rain, forking over the muck heap.

I started to notice a sharp pain in my navel, when I bent over or sat down, worse when I absently washed it in the bath or shower. Eventually, alongside the stabbing pain, came a smelly discharge. I tried to keep it clean but the goo kept staining my clothes and the pain wasn't getting any better.

When it was looking red and sore, I blobbed a load of Savlon in there one night and gently swabbed it around with a cotton bud. I did that morning and night for a couple of days, and one evening I met resistance.

I poked with the cotton bud, and with an audible plop and a surge of pus, out popped a piece of straw about an inch long.

Same thing with a splinter - shoved my hand in my handbag and encountered a Starbucks wooden stirrer. Splinter went right in at the tip and under my nail. Couldn't get it out, but my finger swelled over the next few days. Overnight, plaster with Savlon, next morning, one squeeze and it erupted and spewed out the splinter.

Love Savlon, ahhhhh the relief.

Update, Malcolm (the dermoid cyst) is being removed on Friday, if the surgeon let's me keep him I'll have pictures for you soon!

PP with fanjo wasp - can I just ask how you know you have big flaps? Made me spit my wine everywhere. Am i being dense? Is there a measurement or something? I'm wondering if I'm big, small or indifferent now. misses point of thread but marvellous thread indeed

Having read other people's comments, Paws, you start to realise the range!

People complain about them getting caught on stuff, showing around narrow gussets, etc. Other people then say 'surely not! My flaps don't actually flap' etc.

Just goes to show. Something. Maybe.

There’s a gallery of vulvas somewhere I think, showing all the wonderful variety we come in

Here it is - inventively titled www.thevulvagallery.com!

I once sat down to have a wee whilst on my period, and felt a strange movement below...images flashed through my mind of ‘I didn’t know I was pregnant’ when I felt a fleshy thing sticking out, I pulled and out came a long slithery thing that I was convinced was a foetus....I got quite hysterical and had to google it and apparently it was the lining of my womb, about 6 inches long and an inch wide, quite common allegedly!

Was it a decidual cast? They're actually pretty unusual, although nothing sinister. Don't Google if you're squeamish!

I've googled those casts before (thanks to MN). They're amazing / gross in equal measure.

I'm not sure i can look! I should woman up. Flaps caught in stuff???? wtaf. Mind boggles, caught in a zipper, caught in the door?

There was a thread ages ago about someone in the shower who had something plop out, a bit like Yamiss. She was horrified as it just lay there and, of course, got on to MN to find out what it was. Someone recommended keeping it warm and feeding it bread and milk. I don't think there was an explanation.

At the start I couldn't think of anything similar happening in my family but as I read on a few came to mind!
My dad was the victim of a hit and run about thirty years ago resulting in a broken nose. For weeks after he was pulling bits of rubber from the windscreen wipers out of his lips. Ever since he has had tiny lumps appear on his nose occasionally and a shard of bone will start to poke out.

As a teenager I coughed whilst eating a carrot and inhaled a piece into my sinus. I could feel it for weeks and spent so much time with a rolled piece of tissue up my nose trying to create a sneeze strong enough to dislodge it. Got it eventually. No idea why I didn't just tell my parents maybe because I had been to a&e as a child with cotton up my nose twice and a garden pea twice

On holiday last year I turned 36 and decided to celebrate by doing the leap of faith. Basically you climb a telegraph pole whilst a rope round your waist is attached to a tiny man child rep who is half my height and a third of my weight.
I leapt off the top feeling amazing but panicked and closed my eyes. I hit the pole on the way down. Later, sat on my sun lounger, I spent a good hour pulling splinters from my upper thigh. The ones I couldn't reach round the back are still coming to the surface six months later!

I just spent ages reading back through this thread in reverse order, in a fascinated way, trying to find out how on earth it went from the opening post to.... THIS.

It was only when I got to the end I realised it had happened on page one.

Who knew?l

The infected tattoo video was disturbing! Is it even real?