There is a lipstick going around in the washing machine that isn't mine.

[AManWalksIntoABarOuch]

100% certain dh is not having an affair so who does the lipstick belong to and how on earth will I get it out of the washing as the lid has come off (presumably in the machine) and I'm guessing it will be all over it now. Luckily it was a dark wash. I've stopped the washing machine and put it on drain.

My dh sneezed the other day and then started complaining that he could feel something sharp sticking out of his gum. Knowing I’m a sporner he let me have a poke around with some tweezers and I ended up pulling out something about the size of a postage stamp made of plastic or something similar. Was incredibly satisfying!!

Squeeze it, Lana!
My mild contribution, I was cutting down some cacti. Got stabbed, I thought. Weeks later I rubbed the tender spot on stabbed thumb and an 1.5 cm long thorn just slid out! I am living in anticipation for a similar event

I also have a double toenail on both my little toes (side by side). So does my Dad and my DD9 :D

Pretty sure we need a pic of that Mummys!

Consideredintrusion, my mum has also removed a needle from her chest in the past

DP has promised to try to give it a squeeze later! Will definitely post any results!

Is there going to be a live ‘de leading?’

Battle unt I'm amazed no one got swept away in the making of that video! Wowzers.

Once I emptied the washing machine and handfuls of disembodied cockroach parts came out with the laundry. Must have made their way in via my then bf’s pockets.

Wow @battlecunt that made even sporner-from-way-back me queasy.. maybe I'm not as hard as i thought..

Yes to the live de-leading please!

And that hand would have scared the bejesus outta me.. not knowing what it was I'm pretty sure my explanation would too have been "tiny human i never met, killed in my washing machine, holy fuck"

I had my wisdom teeth out under general over 20 years ago.
Last year I got an “ ulcer” on my gum at the back that really really hurt and wouldn’t heal. Was cleaning it with a cotton bud and oragel and suddenly a tiny chip of tooth came out with a load of bloody pus.
Also DS fell on a piece of wood the size of my thumb at School one day. Taken to hospital to have it removed but it was rather crumbly and for weeks I changed the dressing every other day and had to gently wipe small splinters off the top of the wound. Luckily I’m not squeamish and DS is pretty tough (dd would have fainted each time)

Was it MAC?

This has to be thread of the year!

I don't think I have any sporner stories on me but DS has today been referred for a scan of his bum, after having a splinter removed from it in May at the docs clearly didn't do the whole job as he has a lump there. God knows what's coming out of that!

Wow. I love this thread.
Lana please keep us updated with the live lead birth.

I sneezed and a HUGE spinach leaf came out of my nose. No,? OK, I'll leave.

Insertawittynamehere Similar story but mine was a full length egg noodle and 2 bean sprouts....I was shocked and so was DH.... I didn't like having to pull them out I could really feel it.

What ? What ? An egg noodle and 2 bean sprouts ? What were you making dinner or something ?!?

My DM sneezed while eating spaghetti bolognese and had to pull out a really long strand of spaghetti sticking out of her nose!

While eating I can understand. Were you eating pass ?

I've had a piece of glass in the palm of my hand for over 20 years. Had a scan, it's about 4mm

Boring stitches here too. Had a lump removed in 2013. Blue wire stitches that everyone swore was dissolvable. Most of it went(or shrunk?!?) but there was still a 3-4 cm bit that i could see under the skin. A few months ago it got a bit painful, a bit red and it actually pierced the skin and the end of it popped out. Tried pulling it, but the other end must be embedded in tissue so i cut what i could and the rest is still there.

When my cat was still a tiny kitten she became quite constipated for a couple of days and after she was straining to go in her litter tray I saw something greyish sticking out of her bum. I got hold of it and pulled, and pulled and eventually an entire condom popped out

My ex-boss told me about his kitten/cat which had cotton hanging out of it’s bum. Aparantly he and his partner pulled the cotton for a long while until the cat started getting agitated.

They took it to the vet in the end who operated as the cotton had gone right through it’s body and was caught up on internal organs.

It cost them thousands aparantly.

Has anyone washed one of these scary suckers in their washing machine?

www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-5219267/Monster-Fuggler-dolls-feature-fake-human-teeth.html

m.youtube.com/watch?v=R_cFcpuol-Y