To have bought ds's teacher a giant kestrel?

[SilverLining17]

I mean at least she won't get a duplicate and it make a change from 'best teacher' mugs?!

Asked ds what she liked - gardening apparently. DS's class is kestrel class so aha I thought. A little kestrel ornament for the garden. Except it is not little. No no. It is a gigantic genetically modified kestrel. Maybe she can put it at the bottom of the garden so it looks smaller?!

I am a teacher and I would love to receive something so thoughtful. I also inexplicably love those garden ornaments. I've been eyeing up a robin one for a while. My favourite present of the last few years has been knitted coasters. OH GOD I'M ONLY 30.

Oh god. He absolutely needs a monocle.

See?!

And a name. Name my ds's teacher's kestrel?
I'd like an alliterative name but I feel like Kevin doesn't suit him.

I feel better that most teachers would appreciate the outsize kestrel.

They are of the falcon genus, so Falco? or, Sir Falco?

Is the teacher's name Annie Heyworth, by any chance?

Perhaps you should start off by trying to leave a couple of love birds outside her apartment, if so, and gradually introduce more terrifying birds culminating in Evil Kestrel. Bonus points if you hide said Kestrel in her loft.

I've scared myself now

Kester? Kit? Kenneth? I'm rather taken with Kenneth.

I can just picture it now (with thanks to Fr. Ted)
"This kestrel is near....
that kestrel is far away"

Kobal = Demon of hilarity. Apparently.

He looks like a Silas to me. Scary Silas.

Or Sirius. Siriusly scary.....

Kingsley
Khan
Kipling
Kavanagh

You need something with gravitas.

Awesome present!

It's a guaranteed winner as she'll either love it and take it home for his conventional purpose, or if he isn't to her taste there's the wealth of classroom techniques to explore.

Anyway, if she doesn't love him at first she will after 29 bottles of wine from the rest of the class.

Might be nice for teacher to have a class competition to name him. They'll be creative and it'll give them ownership

Yes I'm sure he will look better once she's got her rose-tinted six weeks holiday spectacles on and also had a lot of wine. Lots and lots and lots of wine.

He was quite expensive actually - someone asked unthread - I wanted to get something a bit special as ds's teacher has been excellent. I suppose I've met the brief. In a way. He is special. However now I wonder if a gardening voucher might have been better...

Kenneth I like. Kenneth name tag. Mortor board hat. Monocle.

I'm the proud owner of a similar Toucan!

It lived in the classroom until I left and the kids made me I took it home 😂

Were you thrilled with it cantstand ?

Does it live in your garden now?

The worst gift is toiletries. I love everything I get normally and genuinely appreciate any parent who has thought about me, but toiletries go straight to a charity shop that is far away enough from school never to be discovered. Unless they happen to be posh ones, but that hasn't happened yet.

Oh God I love Mumsnet.

I don't have a garden - we live in a flat. He lives in a cupboard. I'm off to drag him out for his 5 mins of fame

The interwebs inform me that it is a male common kestrel.

Also known, in olden times, as a wind-fucker

en.m.wiktionary.org/wiki/windfucker

I strongly feel that this important information should be included in the accompanying note

I think he is fab

A wind-fucker? Well you learn something new every day.

Wind fucker well this thread just keeps on giving

Wind-fucker Now there's the name you were looking for. "Children - here is our new class mascot, Wind-fucker the Kestrel of Doom".

Here he is in all his glory. Of course I was thrilled with him