Sorry, but...warnings to the youngsters among us

[MumBod]

Sorry, but...white wiry eyebrows do happen to women.

...you may need to trim your nasal hair too.

...and there will come a time when you'd rather grate your nipples than enter a nightclub, hard as that may be to believe right now.

Any others?

Sorry but...
soft furnishings and kitchenware becomes exciting

Sorry, but...

...you will one day climb into bed with the love of your life.

He will be reading Barry Cryer's memoirs on his kindle. You will be reading The Essential Allotment Guide.

You will be fine with that.

You will receive 5 presents for your birthday. Four of them will be cookbooks. Years of turning out family meals for grumbling kids will have killed off most of the joy you once got out of cooking. Several months later you will have opened only one of the cookbooks and you won't have cooked any of the recipes.

Sorry but...one day you will hear the non-stop oldies on the Steve Wright Show and shout "idiots! that's not OLD it's from like 6 years ago.....wait, what....22 years? Ha ha ha ha....no."

You will say to the pretty young things in the office "ahhh I remember wearing that first time around."

And literally nobody at work will ask you for help if they have a problem with their computer any more, because there are 10 other people who are better at that than you now.

Sorry, but...

You'll ask people at work, in senior positions, what they were doing during momentous occasions (like the millennium) and they'll reply with, I can't remember, I was 5.... and you will genuinely have to stop and do a mental calculation before you realise that the millennium was actually a long time ago now.

Sorry, but...

One day you'll casually mention to the person cutting your hair that Kylie looks totally different to when she was in Neighbours. The hairdresser will look like this: and say 'Kylie was in Neighbours??!?'

You will wonder whether she is old enough to be using scissors.

Sorry but one day you will be roaring "I know your mother and I will be speaking to her" at random teens who dare to sit on your wall swearing. You might even shake your fist and then be raging that you subsequently drop the tissue you've been clutching.

One day you will say "Oh, well done you" to a much younger colleague, realise you've gone into mum mode and it was patronising. Before you find the words to apologise you see they are actually pleased in a child like way because you have gone into mum mode.

jemsywemsy hahaha yes!!! Daily
This thread is really cheering me up, thanks all

You will think from someone's name that they are about your age, then when you meet them face you realise how aged and haggard you must look.

You won't be able to get away with making mistakes at work any more.

At work social occasions you will be mainly ignored by the male employees. They will all be hovering round and chatting to the younger than you women.

You may need to sit down for this next one
That good looking guy you're with?
He will eventually turn into a fat, balding version of Ant & Dec. No matter how good looking they areto start with, they nearly all lose their looks and end up looking like your dad.
Sorry

You go from wailing, Oh, god, I sound like my mother", to confiding, "My mother always used to say ... "

Ooh I've remembered to ask where do you find these 20x magnifying mirrors, thx

Home Bargains

Feelock

. . .and realising, that actually, the woman was a saint, and you misunderstood her for decades . . .

Have had conversations today with two young people who were mystified by David Bowie & Wham - weird names, who are they ?!!! I despair 😕

Sorry but....
you shrink as you get older ....
you start looking for chairs that are easier to get out of , and have footstools
you think you are so clever with the social media stuff, learn how to use it, then realise the young ones have moved on to something newer...

Yes, bookbook. Except your feet. Your feet grow. And become wider and coarser. Duck feet with hair.

paxillin, likewise ears, nose and chin(s).

How difficult it is to out of bed in a morning is an indicator of whether you should take Naproxen that day.

You will make more noise getting up from the sofa than you do during sex.

You will go to sleep with perfect eyesight and wake up in a haze and unable to read text smaller than a 14 size font.

£79 for Mahabis , you will Google then totally want to buy a pair of slippers for nearly one hundred pounds and will wear them to go to the shops like they are Louboutins.

Sorry but...

...you hate your new passport photo but ten years later would give anything to be able to keep the old one rather than the latest one.

ps. don't know about 20x magnification mirrors but can highly recommend the 10x one with built in light that SimpleHuman make; expensive but brilliant.
pps. bought a pair of Mahabis last year and they were the fugliest thing I've ever put on my feet, and that includes crocs. They went back!

paxillin