Sorry, but...warnings to the youngsters among us

[MumBod]

Sorry, but...white wiry eyebrows do happen to women.

...you may need to trim your nasal hair too.

...and there will come a time when you'd rather grate your nipples than enter a nightclub, hard as that may be to believe right now.

Any others?

Newt I've done that all my life (I do have a hearing impairment though).

You will once more find yourself regularly told to stop making a fuss about things & calm down. Except it's no longer your mother saying it, it's your 13yo day (grandma is his spirit animal!)

day = ds, obvs... #myphoneisadick

You will make comments about the youngsters at work not knowing how easy they have it.

You realise that you are one of the older age group in the office.

You'll one day be that person muttering to themselves in the supermarket.

You'll comment on how that skirt/dress looks like a belt and "have you forgotten your trousers dear?"

Kids talk about old people, they're referring to someone in their mid 30's. That's your age group.

You have to scroll further to find your year of birth when filling in online forms.

You hear youngsters talking and have no idea what they are saying because they are using current fashionable "lingo".

Its not a simple matter of calories in, calories out, because water is not made of calories.

Christmas comes but once a year. Sadly sometimes so do periods. When they do, they are also a month long extravaganza. Always have tampax and towels ready. You know, the super super extra plus sized ones that make your eyes water just looking at 'em.

Kegels. by all means do them. But dont imagine they have anything to do with never needing Tena Lady.

Damp weather makes your hands hurt

Sorry but ...

... you will feel ancient the first time someone refers to you as 'the lady' in front of their children.

You will roll your eyes at the historical ignorance of people who say 'it's a generational thing' about 50-60 year olds who are quite simply sexist/ racist.

You will roll your eyes at the sheer prejudice of these same young people who refer to 'old dears' or 'old bats / bags' depending on context, when talking if women who may be professors, retired doctors, or the women who fought for the freedoms you now enjoy.

Sorry, but...

Your little kids will grow up before you know it.

You will discover a great love of gardening centres.

One day you will go to a dimly lit restaurant with your friends and most of you will struggle to read the menu.

some young lovely thing you get on with well at work will say

"you are just like my mum but cooler"

the cooler is NOT enough to negate the just like my mum ....that remark burns.

Great thread, oh so true re spots and wrinkles!

When you're out and about having a lovely time and the weather turns, and the first thing that springs to mind is: "For fuck sake. My washing's on the line. And it'll be DRY by now." The rage that follows this thought will not pass. In fact, it will remain with you all the way home and stick around as you yank your now soaking wet laundry off the line while muttering angrily to yourself. Knowing that you didn't beat the weather will piss you off for the rest of the day.

You will remember how much peoples opinions used to matter to you, even if you didn't like to admit it way back when, and be quite shocked at how much of a fuck you do not give any more. You lose that eagerness to please everybody else, and focus on pleasing yourself. You shed that gentle, vulnerable skin of self doubt. It's wonderful

You will listen to the way younger people talk and wonder if you were ever that self involved.

You will happily pass up a noisy night out for a quiet night in.

You will wake up with a pounding headache if you so much as sniff a glass of wine.

You will overhear childless people talk about how they 'plan' to raise their children and how their child will never have X, Y or Z, and you will smirk knowingly.

Try as you might to avoid it, some variation of the phrase 'back in my day' will pop into your head/out of your mouth at a much younger age than you ever expected it to. Resistance is futile.

And love is not, in fact, all you need. As pp said my mother was right about that (and all the other stuff too)

You will go to museums or antique shops and see items that you remember as being current, like the Natwest pigs and early mobile phones.

Things that you remember are being taught in history lessons to your children.

You will have no idea what's in the top 10 charts.

You'll get confused about current lingo.

You'll be tucked up in bed at the time you used to be getting ready to go out.

Men of your own generation will still think you're hot but if you tell anyone, they'll look at you as if you're living in fantasy land...

Sorry but....

There will come a time when you get an unexpected windfall of money & think

'Ooh, I can get the boiler done / new curtains / pave the drive'

Sorry, but...

No matter how hard you try to keep up, your teens will end up humouring you.

You'll realise things that your DC take for granted were invented during your lifetime like mobile phones. I was asked by DGD how old I was when I first got a mobile, and replied 40 something, she looked incredulous. I had to explain that when I was 8 years old and if I wanted to make a phone call, I had to find a telephone box. As for text messages they didn't exist.

You will wake up one day and discover that the skin under your chin has suddenly detached itself from whatever had been holding it up before and you never appreciated that there was a seperation of your neck and under jaw until it suddenly disappeared

You'll be at a party on a Saturday night when someone suggests a cup of tea and everyone says "ooh, yes please".

One day your DD will beat you at Scrabble, and you were really trying.

You then come up with excuses not to have a rematch.

You will be chatting to another mum in your DC's class, who is obviously younger than you, but you're not sure how much.
During the conversation, she casually mentions her age. With horror, you realise you could be her mum. Not as in, 'if I'd got pregnant at 14 I could be her mum', as in, 'if I'd got pregnant at 20 I could be her mum'.
(Yes, this did happen to me last week).

You will have a funky new haircut...and realise it is the exact same as your mother has. And you will notice this, on holiday, whilst dressed as your mother.