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Original poster

Sorry, but...warnings to the youngsters among us

402 replies

MumBod · 03/06/2017 07:28

Sorry, but...white wiry eyebrows do happen to women.

...you may need to trim your nasal hair too.

...and there will come a time when you'd rather grate your nipples than enter a nightclub, hard as that may be to believe right now.

Any others?

OP posts:
MaQueen · 04/06/2017 21:02

I'm sorry, but...

...when you get up from the sofa, your first few steps will resemble an arthritic flamingo as you work the kinks out of your legs...

Angelreid14 · 04/06/2017 21:04

Sorry but one day Netflix and chill will actually mean watching a box set and chilling. There is a slim hope of sex only if both of you stay awake.

meringue33 · 04/06/2017 21:05

You will be in a toy museum and see toys from your childhood!!

LumelaMme · 04/06/2017 21:06

You will attend a reunion and look at all these greying, middle-aged people and realise with shock that this is your demographic and you just like them to other people.

DoomGloomAndKaboom · 04/06/2017 21:06

Lara2 I WANT THAT T SHIRT

sodablackcurrant · 04/06/2017 21:07

Asked to babysit more than asked to join the revellers.

Get a gardener to cut the grass (Gerry is his name and worth every penny every two weeks, he is gorgeus, but I am invisible. Sigh)

Get cranky for the least reason, or no reason.

Housework is impossible because of the tiredness or the apathy, can't figure out which.

Going for a walk needs glucosamine and Ibubrofen. And much groaning.

Always have a shower proof fold up jacket with you no matter what.

Think ahead. Are there toilets there, oh good oh. Let's go so.

Loving the 99p Kindle specials. Spend more time reading reviews than buying them.

Classical music and Abba era are all I understand now.

Early nights mean early mornings. Impossible to sleep on.

DoomGloomAndKaboom · 04/06/2017 21:09

You will buy a new top/jacket/scarf and wear it four times before you realise it's fucking beige.

MaQueen · 04/06/2017 21:17

I'm sorry, but...

You realise with chagrin, that even when you have spent hours getting all dolled up, and wearing your most flattering outfit and killer heels...you don't look even a fraction as amazing as your willowy, gloriously glowing teen DD who is slobbing about in ripped jeans and last week's PJ shirt [sobs]

BIWI · 04/06/2017 21:29

Your son will tell you about the latest module he's doing for his history degree, which covers Margaret Thatcher and the miners' strike.

History?! Confused

jellyshoeswithdiamonds · 04/06/2017 21:33

I'm sorry but ...

One day you will have reading glasses in every room of your house (so you don't need to walk too far to get them).

More reading glasses squirrelled away in various handbags so you'll never be without a pair.

Finding a magnifying mirror x20 will be the highlight of your week ... got one for myself and my mother.

queenofthebucket · 04/06/2017 21:34

Sorry but

blackheads will appear where they never did before, in your new wrinkles that you can't see because of the bastardly poor bathroom lighting (nothing to do with my eyes)

queenofthebucket · 04/06/2017 21:35

having a full bladder will prompt involuntary farts

Offred2 · 04/06/2017 21:35

Referring to "the great storm of 1987" to twenty-somethings at work, realising that they were born nearly ten years after it happened, and feeling like you've just referred to the Boer War or something

clary · 04/06/2017 21:36

If youare a teacher...

A good number of students will call you "mum" - and then hastily pretend they didn't (I've not been called gran yet tho, phew)

A student with soft 13yo hands will say "urgh Miss, your hands are like claws!" And she will be right.

sodablackcurrant · 04/06/2017 21:36

@queen,

I have one and did the other just now LOL.

Offred2 · 04/06/2017 21:38

Also, realising that for my toddlers, mid nineties music, which is very much my era, is as dated as the mid sixties music which my parents played when I was young.

inaclearingstandsaboxer · 04/06/2017 21:44

I remember watching Top of the pops with my dad ( who was ancient to me but in reality only 20 years older)

The damned came in and I instantly became a punk! I was 11 years old and I embraced it with all the youthful vigor I could muster.

My father was horrified - he was a big rock and prog rock fan and he moaned about how punk was just noise and shouting and not real music.

Oh how I scoffed at him and swore I would never be like him - I would always be up to date music wise and love al the new trends.... I would never be like my old fuddy fuddy dad

And dear reader you guessed the rest ..... Fucking awful racket now, no instruments and no innovations.... What a row!........ I sound like my dad

clary · 04/06/2017 21:48

Another teacher one...

You are telling your year 9s about the Berlin Wall coming down - and how you remember it (! this is taught in history now!!) and then mention the events in 1945 which led to it - and some kid will put up his hand and ask "Miss, do you remember that too?" Errr yeah, if I was 80 now I wouldn't be here teaching you! I'd be at home with a nice cuppa :)

Bobbi73 · 04/06/2017 21:49

As goodygoodygumdrops said, you will not give a toss what
anyone thinks of you and be oozing with don't give a fuck confidence. Then see a picture of yourself when you were 25 and stunning and think, why could I not have felt this way then...
Seriously, if you're young and reading this, pinch your skin and watch it snap back in to place. That does not last!

38cody · 04/06/2017 22:06

You will have a lot more money than you have now and the expectations are sooo much lower - some women hate becoming 'invisible' - I LOVE it!

TheHoneyBadger · 04/06/2017 22:14

it used to amuse me to offer older relatives comfy chairs knowing full well they'd say, 'ooh no i'd never get up again'. i can sense that'll be me soon.

you'll foolishly kneel down to look at something on the bottom shelf in a supermarket then realise you're stuck.

TheHoneyBadger · 04/06/2017 22:15

don't speak too soon clary - could have changed retirement to 80 before you get there.

Original poster
MumBod · 04/06/2017 22:22

Ooh, Classics 🙂

OP posts:
Original poster
MumBod · 04/06/2017 22:24

You lot have been funny buggers on here Grin

Sorry, but...

You'll have to wait a couple of decades before you develop the self-deprecating wit us more mature women are able to display at the drop of a pelvic floor hat Wink

OP posts:
Agoddessonamountaintop · 04/06/2017 22:30

Sorry but - there will come a day when you'll realise your teenager is revising a period of 'history' during which you were already eleven years old.