Sorry, but...warnings to the youngsters among us

[MumBod]

Sorry, but...white wiry eyebrows do happen to women.

...you may need to trim your nasal hair too.

...and there will come a time when you'd rather grate your nipples than enter a nightclub, hard as that may be to believe right now.

Any others?

Sorry but...

...You'll consider a trip to the big Tesco/Sainsburys/[insert supermarket of choice] a day out. A stop at the shop's cafe is a special treat.

You will get old knees. Nobody has invented a knee-lift that I know of. The fat above your knees will push your knee skin down a bit, there'll be a little crease. Your knees will look crap in shorts.

It's all downhill from your first love. Get it over with and marry them. Stop thinking there's always something better around the corner.

You will still feel the same in your head as you did at 25 but young people just think you are old and past it!

Big knickers are comfy, try them, you may be pleasantly surprised. Oh and there's nothing wrong with getting in from work and getting into your PJs

If you wear glasses you start doing the up down up on your forehead dance with them when reading. Time for the joy of varifocals!

I have remembered a recent horror from a friend:

One day, you will see the dad of that boy EVERYONE fancied in the sixth form, and the fit boy's dad hasn't aged a day, wow!

It's boy from the sixth form.

A few days later, thinking this over, you realise this means you must have looked, to him, like your mother. And he is the fit boy from the sixth form. And you look just like your mum. And a little bit of you dies inside.

When the teen waitress asks where you are going on to after a restaurant meal at 10pm, you laugh like a drain. This is a BIG night out!

After you've met someone for coffee/lunch you can't be arsed to fit anything else in. One social event per day is more than enough. I used to be completely perplexed when my older rellys were like this!!

You feel a bit self conscious wearing bare legs with dresses, unless you're on holiday.

You dream less about having your boobs done and more about having your veins done.

When there's background noise in a pub/restaurant, none of your friends can hear each other.

A young person will tell you that you have a lovely voice. The boost to your ego will be instantly crushed when they say it reminds them of being read to at bedtime. Then, if you're male and have any decency whatsoever, you'll not only feel crushed but a absolute sicko as well.

I think it is great on balance. You don't give a shit what people think of your body or clothes. The catcalling stops. You will be taken seriously.

All of this makes up for the younglings in your office gossiping about the women they fancy since you barely register as a woman. It also makes up for whichever body part is less beautiful than it once was.

You look back at photos of yourself, when you thought yourself far from perfect and you'll think... you ungrateful cow! You were gorgeous! Now... the lines in your face echo those of your mother. In my case this means I look terminally miserable, even when I'm not!

You start to lose interest in plays/musicals that don't do matinee performances. You wish concerts would start at 6.30 and finish by 9. And there'll be a point during even the best gigs where you really, really wish you'd brought ear defenders because you know your ears will ring for ages afterwards. Ooh, and you also realise that all your sexy moves now look very much like mum dancing.

Feeling tired, a spreading waistline, sagging jawline and everything aching IS real, at menopause. It's not your gran/mum needing to pull themselves together; it's NOT in their minds, it really is life changing. Sorry.

You feel like the odd one out in a garden centre cafe because everyone else is old. Then you realise you're probably the same age as half of them.

This should definitely be in Classics - how do we do that?

It's ALL so true

You mention having seen an attractive man and your daughter thinks you're looking on her behalf..... mother is obviously past it.

@wickedfairy

In the blue panel above your post you will see the option to "report", click on that and ask for the thread to be included in Classics.

Everyone, on your marks to do the same thing! (if we can remember in five minutes lol)

You quite like reading a catalogue. Any catalogue.

Sorry but.....you will talk about a song at work and none of your colleagues will know what/who you are talking about.

You'll think you're down with the kids but you realise they are just humouring you.

You become the old bid that no one wants to sit with at the works Christmas dinner.

Tondelaya - thanks for the mirror explanation, got that to look forward to then!

One day you will see the point of gin, and tonic, and ice......

This thread has cheered us up at MNHQ no end. And given us all something to consider for the future as we, too, eventually leave the folly of hot, bold youth behind. Seems so far away right now...

Thanks for the reports. We will pass it to our Classics Consideration Committee.

YAY!
It has had me in stitches.

That tall handsome long haired guy with the natty sports jacket, ultra fashionable kipper tie, matching shirt and Vauxhall viva 1600?
40 years later he is wearing beige crag hoppers, glasses to watch tv and likes the cardi his 85 yr old mum bought him for Xmas.

You have to explain your "That's you, that is" t-shirt you still have and still wear. Along with DH's "Milky Milky" t-shirt! 😂

You'll look in the mirror and see your mum looking back at you.

All hair below your waist will migrate to your face.

You'll find old photos of your fabulously beautiful self and wish you had had the confidence you do now.

You'll realise that the past really is another country - and you'll be OK with that.

You will get old knees

I HAVE THESE!

They look like really pissed-off babies...