Sorry, but...warnings to the youngsters among us

[MumBod]

Sorry, but...white wiry eyebrows do happen to women.

...you may need to trim your nasal hair too.

...and there will come a time when you'd rather grate your nipples than enter a nightclub, hard as that may be to believe right now.

Any others?

Sorry, but...

You will possibly at some point become a Great Aunt. I managed it at 37, so now feel like some kind of Dowager Duchess.

Having chortled and snorted (with laughter) my way through this whole thread I cannot at the mo think of anything to add, actually that's not entirely true, I did think of something when I was further up the thread, but, yes you've guessed it, I've forgotten what it was!

Ooh I've remembered to ask where do you find these 20x magnifying mirrors, thx

Sorry but...
Aged nearly 50, you will meet up again with the sexy older guy from work from years ago.
And realise, he really IS old, now.
LIke you remember your Grandad being old.
(but you still would, and that weirds you out a lot... :)

I keep remembering more.

One day your DD will babysit for someone you babysat. Who now has two DC.

You will whinge and moan about the ghastly 'music' playing in H&M and beg DD to hurry up.

You will walk behind your surely teen in TopShop (you have the credit card, that's why you are allowed in). Any item you pick up will be immediately disqualified because, well, mum likes it. The disapproval will be expressed with eye rolls. You will be hot, bothered, bored and wish s/he would just pick something, anything, so that you can leave this hellhole.

Slicking some kohl eyeliner on your inner lower lashline for your usual go-to "sexy eye" look. Only to find it immediately makes you look like a sad, tired old lady who's been on the game for 40 years

I find the kohl now makes me look like my mascara has run.

You start laffing at todays' Yoofs' fashion. Pretty sure a giant sized jacket tucked into orange plastic shorts paired with blue hold ups would've had me howling back when I was a youngling.

WTF is that man wearing!!

You will walk behind your surely teen in TopShop (you have the credit card, that's why you are allowed in). Any item you pick up will be immediately disqualified because, well, mum likes it. The disapproval will be expressed with eye rolls. You will be hot, bothered, bored and wish s/he would just pick something, anything, so that you can leave this hellhole

hahaha - this was my weekend!!! Followed by H+M and New Look.

(the comments on cold upper arms, flouncy, frilly bits and "baby-poop yellow" were not appreciated either....)

You look in the mirror and get depressed about the jelly belly mum tum and the wrinkly eyes and the grey roots. You throw on something to wear which doesn't show all that off, go to meet an old friend and then find she's got a long-term health condition that restricts her ability to work and causes constant pain. You suddenly feel incredibly thankful that your body still works.

Sorry, but...

At some point you will stop plucking / waxing your eyebrows and then start plucking / waxing your chin.

These behaviours usually happen simultaneously. 😲

This thread is hilarious! it's been a good way to pass a rainy day indoors with snotty children.

I'm not sure if it's a good thing that at 26 a lot of it applies already, ditto hairs on the face - pcos has had me dealing with odd hairs + tweezers for a while. Maybe it'll be a reverse for me? Maybe I'll hit 50 and suddenly I'll be a trendy clubber who knows who the hell any pop stars or tv personalities are.

You will complain that trendy clothes shops are too dark and the music is too loud.

You will also start complaining that you can't hear what the actors are saying on tv "because they're mumbling".

Seriously all the twenty something's saying this thread applies to them - no it doesn't! Make the most of it you have enough years being middle aged squeeze all you can out of your youth.

Even if you are slim your flesh will 'relax' and you will buy t-shirts with mid length sleeves that cover baggy arm flaps.

You will be content browsing slippers on the internet.

You will be content browsing slippers on the internet.

Oh yes, I've been lusting after some Mahabis.

You have just finished having some afternoon delight with a slightly (10 yrs) younger man and he looks you in the eye and says

'Where were you when Kennedy was shot?'

I was born in 1968......

... And I am actually a great great aunt too now.......

You'll look back on pictures of yourself from 20 years ago, when you considered yourself "fat", and wish you were that "fat" now.

I'm only 26, and if you change the 20 to 9yrs, then that's me already. How on earth I thought I was fat at 17 is beyond me I was actually very slim and so pretty i thought I was extremely ugly and flabby

You are excited at receiving a gardening magazine subscription for your birthday and you get excited by the Top of the pops repeats on BBC4

Chardonnay

I have Mahabis. They were a birthday present from DP. I was delighted. Which only leads me to say...

Sorry, but...

...you will receive slippers from your DP as a gift.
...you will love them.
...you will engage in slipper oneupmanship on the internet.

...you will have slipper envy.

No, there's nothing dignified about this getting older business.