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Original poster

My foof is buzzing

247 replies

ClopySow · 20/05/2017 09:50

I am not using a vibrator. My phone is not vibrating. No-one is doing mad drilling next to me. I haven't accidentally left an internal vibrating toy up there.

I've had a pretty constant buzzing/vibrating feeling in my groin for about a week now. It's neither pleasant or unpleasant. What the fuck is it?

Is someone phoning my foof? Stop phoning my foof. You've got the wrong number.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
titsbumfannythelot · 21/05/2017 20:50

Ooooft for a minute there I thought that was going to be about Miranda hart.

Perish the thought.

winglesspegasus · 21/05/2017 21:41

sounds like nerve trouble
stop filling your pockets with phone
go out and walk
without the phone.
be kind to your foof

styledilemma · 21/05/2017 21:48

Are all your vaginas talking to each other?

If Furbies could do it, anything's possible.

MissSmiley · 21/05/2017 21:49

Have you had a poo OP?
I've had this several times. And I worked out it was relieved by an evacuation!

styledilemma · 21/05/2017 21:54

What is Javelin Arse?
toria from what I've been told it's a sharp shooting pain in your arse.

Ooh I get that! one out of two isn't bad

GriseldaChop · 21/05/2017 22:36

Just checking back in and this is still making me laugh out loud, getting funny looks off dh! I think if mine could talk it might have a French accent. Oh la la!

Woobeedoo · 21/05/2017 22:42

Oh dear god, as well as Javelin Arse, I've also had Fanny Stab and my foof has been known to buzz on occasion. It's a hat trick! Do I win a prize for my weird nethers?

ZuzuMyLittleGingersnap · 21/05/2017 22:49

OP,

Maybe this is what's happening up there?
(Bee-themed/ buzzing/ vibrations, with a voice for good measure).

MillieMoodle · 21/05/2017 22:51

I get this and I'm 33. Get it mostly at my TOTM. I'm not sure what its
voice sounds like though. Probably Martine McCutcheon I reckon. Also get javelin arse and had the most horrendous fanny daggers when pregnant. Being a woman is so very glamorous at times Hmm

ZuzuMyLittleGingersnap · 21/05/2017 22:52

^ BTW, I'm not making light of anyone who's experiencing pain^ with theirs (like poor Silencio...that sounds horrible Sad).

WorshipTheGourd · 21/05/2017 22:55

I am roaring. Just roaring. So loud my 12 yr old ds just woke up (my pc is not far from his bedroom door). He is saying: 'what? what?'
I can't tell him, can I? Blush

Mine buzzes too Grin

fannydaggerz · 21/05/2017 23:00

My fanny buzzes sometimes, no idea why it does it.

If it had a voice, it would be Clint Eastwoods character in Gran Torino.

Snotgobbler99 · 21/05/2017 23:02

I am roaring. Just roaring. So loud my 12 yr old ds just woke up (my pc is not far from his bedroom door). He is saying: 'what? what?'
I can't tell him, can I?

Mine buzzes too

He already knows what it's about. It's the buzzing keeping him awake...

WorshipTheGourd · 21/05/2017 23:03

MY foof sings.
Like Alanis Morissette when I have PMT
("I';m not quite so well, I think you should know...")
Rest of the time it's more Tracey Chapman. Chilled. Blusey.
But then, I am having great sex atm ;)
For rather a long time, it was silent. Not buzzy at all.

WorshipTheGourd · 21/05/2017 23:04

Snotgobbler

SHIT!!! What if he discloses THAT at his Church School??? Shock

Goldfishjane · 21/05/2017 23:23

Ive only seen a couple of posts and crying with laughter
So I've decided this thread is for my morning commute tomorrow
Whoever sits next to me is just blatantly going to read over my shoulder all the way aren't they Grin
As long as they don't put their ear to my foof - which is silent as the sphinx - I don't mind.

Original poster
ClopySow · 21/05/2017 23:25

But then, I am having great sex atm

Lucky thing. I think my buzzing is due to lack of sex.

Whoever asked about pooing - yes i am very regular thanks, like clockwork. Fucking 6am every bastard day. It's what wakes me. The need to poo, not actually pooing. I do not wake up shitting the bed. Just to be clear.

OP posts:
squishee · 21/05/2017 23:31

I've had a buzzing foof at times. Pretty sure there have been threads about it.

I want Patrick Stewart for the voice.

ZuzuMyLittleGingersnap · 21/05/2017 23:32

Goldfish,

^ If you wear make up, I highly recommend you give the mascara a miss before reading the thread on tomorrow's commute...or you'll arrive looking like Alice Cooper.

You have been warned.

MooseAndSquirrel · 21/05/2017 23:47

Oh I get this too excited to be part of a talking fanjo club
No idea what it is - and I'm 30

I also get, what I describe as, a nervous fanny....like a cringe when you see something uncomfortable (looking down whilst on a cliff, for instance) but its just a fanjo cringe
accept I may be booted out of the club if no one else knows what I'm talking about

Goldfishjane · 21/05/2017 23:53

Zuzu, thanks, it's okay, I don't wear mascara.
I'm prepared to be the commuter who everyone thinks is still off their foof face from Saturday night.

Actually I would go right off my foof if it started buzzing at me.

tiredvommachine · 21/05/2017 23:57

Nervous fanny here too.
Also kicks in if I'm feeling extremely embarrassed for someone.
Clunge cringe?

WorshipTheGourd · 21/05/2017 23:58

ClopySow
re the sex.... if you knew how little sex in last 15 YEARS...
you would be cheering for me Grin
my foof definitely is.
Cheering.
and
Buzzing Grin

(but, generally, i reckon its a trapped nerve)

MooseAndSquirrel · 22/05/2017 00:00

Thats it!
I'm clunge cringing all the way through bgt and xfactor

picklemepopcorn · 22/05/2017 07:10

Javelin arse has a name! Thought it was just me...

Just as an aside, maybe GCHQ aren't confused by all the muffled actor voices at all, maybe they have harnessed the power of the fanjo banjo for ultra discreet communication...the Russians would never believe that when Trump tells them, after all.