My husband has just caught me doing something terrible and embarrassing...

[PrettyRicky]

My DH came home unexpectedly and I was in the kitchen doing something I probably shouldn't have been doing but which I do every time I'm home alone.

I was having an imaginary interview on Radio 4 Woman's Hour about my new, hugely critically acclaimed novel.

DH walked in just as I was saying to Jane Garvey "That's an interesting question, Jane. The book's really a reflection on womanhood at times of crisis".

He was just stood there at the kitchen door and said "What is? Who's Jane?" and then looked around the corner to our dining table, presumably expecting to find someone called Jane who'd popped around for a brew.

Thank you op! I am having a very sad day today and that has made me laugh out loud. I feel infinitely better

PrettyRicky you are a woman after my own heart. Exactly the sort of thing I would do. Can we be friends IRL?

If that's the worst thing DH catches you doing you haven't got much to worry about!

Its nice to know other people have an over active imagination too and talk to them self/play out scenarios. Its a good thing IMO. Although not Radio 4, I am normally captain of space ship.

Hahaha pmsl thanks for a good laugh op.

downstairspoo

"you practised that argument in the mirror and the best you could come up with was fuck off?"

Fabulous! I would have spent the rest of the trip willing something to fall out of the overhead locker on to his head/fall down the steps/child to spill drink on his lap so it looks like he wet himself (nothing too painful, just an embarrassing thing). I do hate it when OH's are actually right.

Hahaha... this has made me laugh so hard for the day. It's good to imagine you're successful. You better write that book now. I bet he loves his widely imaginative wife even more now. If nothing else it gives him something to chuckle about.

This thread has had me in tears laughing thank you everyone 😂😄😄😄

I often explain (to who knows who?) how to have a shower, eg then you pick up the shampoo and squeeze a largish dollop onto your hand, then you rub it into your hair until it goes frothy.

Dunno why!

This has made me feel so much better. I always talk things through with myself in the car...and inadvertently recorded one such conversation and sent it to my son on messenger. He thought it was the maddest thing he's ever heard and so did the rest of the household, they all insisted that I'm the only nutter who talks to herself. I'm feeling relieved that I'm clearly not the only one

I have lots of of conversations with myself. DH hears them. I've managed to disguise the oddness by taking a masters degree in creative writing. I'm just working scenes out in my head, see?

My advice: take up creative writing (actual academic qualification not compulsory). And OP ... write the damn book you're being interviewed about.

I do this all the time. You are 100% normal, love.

I often explain (to who knows who?) how to have a shower, eg then you pick up the shampoo and squeeze a largish dollop onto your hand, then you rub it into your hair until it goes frothy.

I do this when I wash my hair...You are not alone!

I pretend I have someone staying with me from the past. Sometimes the 60s, sometimes Victorian, sometimes Elizabethan. "So, this is a television, and this is what we call a com-pu-ter. Yes, in some ways you will find society has changed a great deal, and in other ways not so much. You'll probably need a pair of jeans."

I sometimes imagine I am giving Charles Dickens a lift in my car. I read somewhere that he loved the railways as he enjoyed speed (many people thought you would disintegrate if you went above 35mph but he loved it.) He would have loved cars! So I show him my car and how fast it can go and "yes women can drive cars, Mr Dickens. And most of us wear trousers these days too." etc.

Ha. If anyone had stumbled across me late last night they'd have found me practicing my dance floor moves ( which is far more embarrassing than a pretend radio interview, believe me).

A psychiatrist would have a field day with all of us

Dream to get what you want to achieve and preparation are everything! Fabulous! I thought you were going to say sometjing naughty, must be my dirty mind!! How is your novel going? Xx

A few days ago (In RL) I saw a teenage boy on the bus with headphones on, he was mothing the words to the songs, pulling strong facial expressions and doing dance kind of moves. I knew he was performing a rock concert in his head and was really proud of him for doing it in public, because I do it too!
This thread has made me feel much better. I have a many of these, my current favourite is Gladys Aylward themed. I know I couldn't rescue over 100 children, so I rescue 50 from Mexican drug lords. I get a minor gunshot wound to the arm, but wear my injury with pride. I then try and shy away from the limelight.
I've also got an idea for a book ( In RL), but everytime I sit down to write it I spend hours thinking about it becoming so popular that the press start trying to find my real identity from my writing name and the court orders I'd have to get to stop them. I have an over active imagination.

mouthing, sorry

Oh thank you OP, I used to have such wonderful conversations on Parkinson, witty repartee would ensue, with the other equally famous guests laughing out loud at my slightly risqué but high brow comments. Desert Island discs was wonderfully fulfilling. The money from my bestsellers was put to such good use.
I'd forgotten all this, now my conversations, mostly in the car, are thinking about the things I should have said in meetings and the exact phrasing for tackling 'difficult' staff situations.
My Graham Norton place has been booked, I'm taking it up again!

Omg! I just guffawed out loud in the street!! You've made my night OP!!

I was on the train the other day and someone started singing outloud, I guess they were listening to something on their phone, but it started quietly and got louder and louder until the whole carriage was smiling - I bet that person does a lot of things on this thread

Excellent 😂

Well everyone has a novel in them.

Why don't you write yours and have that interview for real?

My husband caught me teaching the dog Spanish the other day