My husband has just caught me doing something terrible and embarrassing...

[PrettyRicky]

My DH came home unexpectedly and I was in the kitchen doing something I probably shouldn't have been doing but which I do every time I'm home alone.

I was having an imaginary interview on Radio 4 Woman's Hour about my new, hugely critically acclaimed novel.

DH walked in just as I was saying to Jane Garvey "That's an interesting question, Jane. The book's really a reflection on womanhood at times of crisis".

He was just stood there at the kitchen door and said "What is? Who's Jane?" and then looked around the corner to our dining table, presumably expecting to find someone called Jane who'd popped around for a brew.

I regularly write extensive and irate letters of complaint in my head, mostly trying to sort out the relatively minor annoyances of life, but also sometimes about things that have not yet happened, but that might happen. I do this for both myself and my friends. It's mostly cathartic but sometimes makes me very cross. However, it's always nice to then realise that actually it was quite a small thing and not worth the trouble of complaining!

Ah ha ha ha ha ha
The long saw out of the car window!
I imagine that!!!!
😄😄😄

The (not Daily Hate) journo Dolly Anderson has just put a screengrab of the thread on her Instagram page...

I hold imaginary conversations all the time. Often in accents. Deep South and French are my favourites, with occasional Welsh.
Sometimes out loud but I don't think I've ever been caught.

I'm sad not to have an imaginary saw though.

I have bravely saved a small child from drowning in a duck pond many times. (It used to be a harbour but I could work out how I'd climb us both out again)

• couldn't

I've seen the screen grab on FB

How do you get it on FB ?

*As an adult, my work days are described in a strong Geordie accent by the "Big Brother" narrator.

I am an otherwise sane and well-respected Museum Archivist blush*

hahahahahahah

Everyone's day should be narrated by the Big Brother Geordie voice over.

Donald Trump s inauguration would be much better with a Geordie commentary rather than Huw Edwards

I don't think we can really ban people from posting entertaining stuff on the basis that the wrong sort of people might also be entertained. Cutting off our noses to spite our faces surely.

I win arguments in my head - sometimes espirit de l'escalier, sometimes arguments against really irritating imaginary straw people.

I take part in Choreography Corner, but that's fine because the real Zoe/Karen actually encourage you to join in. Performing my epic Strictly Final-winning Showdance around the house to whatever music happens to be on is more suspect though, and the big lifts are definitely tricky.

I pretend I'm on that programme where they had cameras in the family home 34hrs a day.

The commentators are child psychologists, parenting experts and supernanny (who I hate). I imagine that it's prime time viewing and my parenting is being lauded by the whole of the UK....just how does she do it?

It has actually improved my parenting a bit

Oh thank you for this, I really needed it. Plus I feel right at home, have had several alternate realities on the go since I was in my teen. Throw in a bit of time travel and much to my ds delight talking to the pots and pans when I'm cooking.

Love this , made me giggle

I often have arguments with myself, though I don't always win

When I'm cleaning I pretend it's a crime scene and I have to get rid of all the DNA. I thought everyone did that.

After the housework is done I do this....

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=nGcTcDcrx9s

Every time.

A screenshot of the opening post has had 1000 retweets on Twitter.

When I'm cleaning I pretend it's a crime scene and I have to get rid of all the DNA. I thought everyone did that. grin

I love doing this...encourages me to clean better ;)

Also have long conversation/arguments in my head whilst doing menial tasks around the house. When my XDP was being a dick Jeremy Kyle made a few appearances

When she is in the shower, Kim Kardashian imagines she is in a local government middle manager job.

My ds's football trophy often turns into the Oscar I've won.... I do a moving acceptance speech!

I'm glad I'm not the only mad one Lulu.

I do this kind of shit all the time, usually it's an argument with myself over DD..

DD just put down for her nap, so I creep through to my bed, which creaks, and the following solo argument ensues along the lines of..

Me 1: "oh for fucks sake, could you not be more quiet, you're going to wake her up"
Me 2: "well at least I was the one putting her down, I'm fucking shattered"
Me 1: "you made the noise, you go sort her out"
Me 2: "but it was my time last time"
Me 1: "I sort her out all the time"
Me 2: "oh for fucks sake, I'm going"

trots off to sort out the child both of me woke up

Me 1: "well done, now have a nap"
Me 2: "I fucking will"

Then I settle down and think what a daft twat I am, but at least I won the argument

The OP has made Twitter. ..

HottySnanky Thu 19-Jan-17 13:39:58
Sometimes I like to imagine that I've been sent back in time to Henry VIII's time, to his bedroom, with a comprehensive pharmacy and array of surgical instruments so that I can miraculously cure his leg ulcer, explain how making and having babies actually works and stop him from turning into a hideous fat woman-killing manbeast.

Very similar - I'm a time travelling medic bringing folic acid to his Queen(s) and educate them both on the basics of baby making.

Usually ends with me being dragged off to be burned at the stake as a witch though...

Sitting at swimming classes with the DC's I regularly imagine and play out the fact that they're not mediocre club swimmers, no they are International swimmers the best in the country and the reason they are being kept in their small club is to protect them from media attention of being child prodigies in their sporting fields

Slightly similar - I regularly imagine that I take DD to snowboard/ice skate/insert other cool sport for the first time and there just so happens to be a superstar in that sport passing by who immediately recognises her amazing talent at said sport, and offers to buy her all the best equipment for it and let her train for free and soon she is winning competitions as the youngest ever in that sport.

In actuality she's not that great at any sports :)