My husband has just caught me doing something terrible and embarrassing...

[PrettyRicky]

My DH came home unexpectedly and I was in the kitchen doing something I probably shouldn't have been doing but which I do every time I'm home alone.

I was having an imaginary interview on Radio 4 Woman's Hour about my new, hugely critically acclaimed novel.

DH walked in just as I was saying to Jane Garvey "That's an interesting question, Jane. The book's really a reflection on womanhood at times of crisis".

He was just stood there at the kitchen door and said "What is? Who's Jane?" and then looked around the corner to our dining table, presumably expecting to find someone called Jane who'd popped around for a brew.

So glad it's not me!

I was having an angry conversation with my eldest lad on the way out of work a few months ago - except obviously he wasn't there. I turned the corner and met a confused looking woman having a smoke. I instantly put my phone up to my ear and tried to look unconcerned. I think I got away with it! And she shouldn't have been smoking there anyway so ner!

the 90s solved this problem for us; we should all wear phone headsets at all times to explain away imaginary interlocutors

You're on The Poke!
www.thepoke.co.uk/2017/01/20/cautionary-tale-dangers-cohabitation-mumsnet/

I think this has to be one of THE best threads ever! Mainly because I have done/will continue to do all of the things discussed on here!

On the plus side, it's nice to know I'm not the only one earmarked for a straight jacket & a padded cell! 😜

This thread has made The Poke's FB page.

Oops, just saw witsender's post. Apologies!

This is why you need a dog - so you can talk to yourself while pretending to be talking to the dog!

Fuuuuck. This is massive. I've seen my own thread on FB today. I drifted away from MN last night, have been teaching all morning then come online to do some research for my lecture read FB and MN and there it is.

And a kind MNer has alerted me to the fact the Jane Garvey has seen it and wants to interview me. Swishes hair

Jane, I'm here and waiting for you. There is still no novel.

MrsB76 I have a dog. Unfortunately she wouldn't have helped yesterday.

She's not called Jane. And she doesn't tend to ask questions. Bloody useless mutt.

I pretend I have my own cooking show when cooking. I also do similar when doing my makeup or hair! It helps that I only live with my toddler!

I pretend I have my own cooking show when cooking. Here is one I prepared earlier

So....is this a woman thing or are the men doing the same thing without us knowing?

Like what, I wonder......

Men totally do this...I once caught my ex bf fingers in gun poise at the car window quietly making 'peww peww' shooting noises whilst I was driving. Neither of us knew quite what to say...

This thread has made my day hahaha

paxillin you may laugh. But this is my life!

OP,

A bit 'meta', this...

Livened up a dull meeting no end, by imagining the following. Assumed my (inner) line-rehearsing with Big Brother's 'Geordie voiceover bloke' (see earlier post) had been silent and undetectable; startled look on colleagues' faces suggests not

                                        <strong>Scene 1</strong>

INT. KITCHEN. DAY.

OP sits alone at table, murmuring softly. Occasional sage nodding of head. Only words decipherable are "You speak such truths, Jane..."

DH hesitantly peers at her from a safe distance. Concern is etched on his brow. After yesterday, his eyes flick nervously towards the radio. It is off. His wife is oblivious to him. His worst suspicions seem realised.

DH: Everything all right, love? I could have sworn I heard Radio 4 on again? Were you pretendi...

OP: Oh, that was just me. Was I really speaking out loud? Odd. Was just fine-tuning my book's salient points. A Woman's Hour researcher's ringing back any minute. Am bit nervous...don't know if I'm on with Jane or actually JENNI MURRAY HERSELF!! ...

DH is unhearing. Watches her sadly. How has it has come to this? He blames Mumsnet All those months of him ignoring her "imaginary typing", "imaginary interviews with Mariella". He considers the medical intervention options...

Incognito So, how is it you go the cameras into my house, then?!

After a particularly rage-filled call to domestic and general, this has made me laugh out bloody loud and lifted my mood

I swear if they hadn't invented earbuds for telephones that I can plug in whilst I'm working through the day's special challenge, they'd have carted me off years ago.

My mom used to have pretend arguments I used to wonder what she was doing lol I do it myself 😂😄 must be genetic 😄

I say that I always talk to myself, that way I know someone is listening.

I love this but I do it in my head!

I say that I always talk to myself, that way I know someone is listening.