My husband has just caught me doing something terrible and embarrassing...

[PrettyRicky]

My DH came home unexpectedly and I was in the kitchen doing something I probably shouldn't have been doing but which I do every time I'm home alone.

I was having an imaginary interview on Radio 4 Woman's Hour about my new, hugely critically acclaimed novel.

DH walked in just as I was saying to Jane Garvey "That's an interesting question, Jane. The book's really a reflection on womanhood at times of crisis".

He was just stood there at the kitchen door and said "What is? Who's Jane?" and then looked around the corner to our dining table, presumably expecting to find someone called Jane who'd popped around for a brew.

Aww! As embarrassing things to be caught doing go, it's not so bad! I do the imaginary interview thing too, but in my head. I think I shall embrace saying it out loud, it sounds so much more fun. 😉

Am I the only person who plans and imagines funerals ?Usually when DH or someone else I love is late home ...I don't go so far a to try on black clothes or act out or anything But I do imagine the interview with the grieving widow ..and how good I look with a mantilla over my face .Black is so slimming too .
Does this mean I'm a bit twisted ....
Hasten to add I love DH dearly and would be devastated

I pretend that i am scouted in the street by a modelling agent as the next supermodel, because of my outstanding beauty. (I'm 42 with a mum bod).

I am reluctantly encouraged to sing by all my friends and family and locals who have never heard me, on a stage with mic, and it turns out I have the voice of an angel and everyone is shocked and mesmorised, not a dry eye in the house. (In reality I sound like a bag of angry cats)

I have fantasy rows with my MIL in which i tell her exactly what i think of her in a really kickass way. (In reality i usually say nothing except for one time when I exploded into an incoherent rant that made me look like an arse).

I am regularly interviewed on Dr Phil and Oprah about my groundbreaking book on parenting and education that has changed the world. Oprah loves it, gasps a lot when quoting it, and gushes about how profound it is.

My word I am a fruitcake

Oh and I pretend i am in a massive accident and in a coma and all my family and friends are gathered around me sobbing and saying lovely things about me. They think i can't hear them but i can. It makes me cry.

Not batshit me, no, not at all!

When I leave the gym and walk to my car, I pretend I'm a Wag and there's paps taking photos of me! I walk with my head down to my car

I used to regularly imagine I was a tv presenter of a cooking programme and talk through what I was doing etc when cooking as a teenager and I remember feeling a bit mortified when my mum walked in on me. But, those years in training were worthwhile as I now teach cookery for a job and get to actually act like I'm presenting a cooking programme by doing demonstrations for my job

Try speaking into a tape recorder and playing it back.Very rewarding

I can't tell you how good this thr ad is making me feel. I have a very detailed and specific record breaking career as a multi world champion MotoGP rider. I have singlehandedly broken the gender barrier and regularly give interviews about my stellar career.

I have also been known to walk through a museum and see exhibitions of my own bikes. Sometime, I am surprised when they turn out to be someone else's......

I adore this thread

In the gym I'm a contestant in the World's Strongest Man.
Also, spin class = Tour de France

(obvs I'm first over the finish line)

Love all these

Lol

Omg- spudlet - you just made me lAugh out loud on the bus

PollytheDolly

I'm male, have always 'rehearsed' arguments and discussions, often when they have little likelihood of happening.

When I'm driving I'm piloting an F1 car and have to get the apex of the corner right. I've saved whole carriages from violent thugs many times...

I always make sure I've checked the exits for a quick escape.

The best of all was traveling on business in Hong Kong, I was definitely 007 under cover as the hotel Executive Lounge maitre-d welcomed me by name and gave me my usual G&T... (this actually happened several times, apart from me being an IT guy, not an international playboy superspy)

ETA. I'm not a man. Or particularly strong.

I totally, totally LOVE that I'm absolutely not the only one who has imaginary conversations in this fearful and bizarre world known as adulthood. My day is made.

I totally, totally LOVE that I'm absolutely not the only one who has imaginary conversations in this fearful and bizarre world known as adulthood. My day is made.

Fab thread 😀 i do quite a lot of these too. So good to read not alone...

Sometimes I give myself little talks in the toliet cubicle at work. I even go over things I've said, or re-inact something ive done in the smart, articulate way i should have first time round.
Normally its all done in my head, but sometimes ive found myself muttering away out loud...

I've been in quite a few fraught emergency situations but i manage to save the day and then slope off leaving people safe but agog.

I've interviewed many film/stage and musical stars and impressed all wth my knowledge and razor sharp wit. I've also got a brilliant singing voice. just in case its possible there's no beginning to my talents😂😉 I'll stop there. Lol.

In RL my DH sometimes wonders why i can take so long getting ready, im usually busy saving someone or something ☺️

Perfectly normal behaviour - you should ask him why he never conducts any imaginary interviews on car maintenance, (or whatever he is a fantasy expert on...) :-D

I have arguments with work colleagues when I am alone when they've said something unreasonable or unjust and I was too surprised to come up with a good comeback. I also imagine being diagnosed with something terminal or in a fatal car accident and picture my death/dying days and funeral in detail and I get sad that I'd leave my baby motherless and get teary-eyed. Looks like I am normal. Thanks MN!

So far I haven't been caught either.

I do it in the car. But I've changed jobs to work nearer to home I seem to have stopped recently. I think it's because I don't want to be seen by my neighbours.

Reading this thread reminds me how enjoyable it is. And that I must get back to doing it.

So funny !

I'm normal then! Haha!
I do this and it's usually when I'm daydreaming about my ideal career as a writer - actor so when I'm driving a bus late at night and once or twice I've been talking out loud without realising whilst driving and passengers have given me Whoops, haha!

OMG....do people really talk to themselves? Or even have imaginations like that? I've always known I'm an incredibly boring person. I need to borrow your imaginations! I do sing when the house is empty...but I'd die if I got caught. 😀

My DH caught me channelling my inner Victor Meldrew when I didn't hear him come in from work and I was looking at my post. 'Who the bloody hell decided to make official envelopes such an ugly shade of beige? Why can't they send me a tax bill in a nice pink envelope and for that matter why do I have to pay my sodding tax bill in January? Who the bleeding hell thought that was a good idea?'....

In real life I'm actually quite cheerful and happy so DH thought it was hilarious.

I love you all. Every single one of you. This thread makes me realise that whilst I am completely infuckingsane, it seems we all are. How comforting!

In my head I am a woman named Kate who is slim and attractive, married to a radio host (but who looks exactly like a middle aged singer I have a huge crush on in real life).

I'm an author and regularly get interviewed on radio and on Graham Norton. 😂

I often act out scenes too....so glad to able found this. We are all bonkers.