Fanny condensation

[ClopySow]

On plastic chairs. Just me?

Please tell me it's not just me. It happened tonight at school parents meeting. Stood up after a nice chat with the maths teacher and there is it, the diamond shaped condensation patch of doom.

I nearly name changed because i am very embarrassed, but fuck it.

You are all disgusting, my nethers have never produced any kind of visible moisture.

KIDDING. My minge mist is award winning, although rarely the diamond of doom...more of a Nike swoosh of pride. Behold, my steamy hot foof.

Would it be vulgar to up the ante and talk about the effects of wearing polyester trousers cut snugly around the crotch?

I was thinking of the cha cha slide too!

I've been twisting and sliding since puberty! I also double check by putting my bag or papers on the chairs and having a quick "check to make sure I have everything".

It actually happened the other day at the vets... but instead of putting my bag on the seat, I put my pussycat on it in his carrier. True story.

You're not alone! I remember the shame of standing up after a Uni seminar when we sat on plastic chairs in a circle. I used to put bag on chair and rummage while I waited for minge moisture to disperse!

Once at a school function there was a teenage boy sitting in front of me - I'd say he was about 16 or so. He smelled atrocious. It was a long function that consisted of various musical pieces. He hopped up to take part in one and left a huge, and a can only assume stinky, wet patch behind.

I always think about that now when sitting in school-provided chairs...

It happens to me. When I was a teenager, someone noticed it at secondary school and I was picked on mercilessly. I'm relieved to see it isn't just me. And it isn't sweat- it can happen when you're cold. I slide to the front of my seat as the meeting or whatever it is I'm doing is coming to an end so that by the end of the conversation I'm almost hovering awkwardly and a bit squatty.

Beaver breath

This has happened to me too :) glad I'm not the only one. This has been a very amusing read :)

All.The.Time! Although the bike at the gym is the worst - there's a little channel on the seat!..............

Always, all my life. I call it buttsweat.

This happens to me all the time in the canteen at work. Clearly the new all plastic chairs were chosen by a MAN

Mind you, nothing compares to the shuffle I had to do to wipe off the little pool of blood I'd left on there once

Literally never heard of or thought about this ever in my life - am now wondering if I have obliviously been breezing out of rooms leaving the diamond of shame behind me!? Or perhaps I have an icy foof. So confused!

I used to get that... Thankfully due to the gigantic baby I had three and a half years ago, I now wear Always Dailies a lot of the time. Soaks up the damp quite nicely.

Last time this happened to me was about a month ago at fat club

So I thought it was because I is fat

But I'm assuming the foggy fannies on this thread are attached to a broad range of shapes and sizes of woman, which makes me feel a bit better about it tbh

Thank god it's not just me.

Most embarrassing time was when I was about 15/16, getting a back massage at the local community centre on a massage chair that you have to sort of straddle.

I stood up afterwards and saw it and my face went a deep shade of purple. I did enjoy the massage but not that much. I never went back after that.

I think it's all the polyester we wear now.

I use antiperspirant around that area which Dh assures me is not sexy.

Oh I used to hate this at school - that time of your life when you. are. embarrassed. by. everything. Wooden seats fine, plastic seats (especially stools in lab which were a fetching shade of mustard) I'd sit there and by the end of the lesson I'd feel so damp I'd think I'd started my period and be terrified of standing up. (Especially if it was a double period - bedum tshhhh )

Could it be that the scientists investigating global warming are looking in the wrong place (fellow culprit here)?

Hoping this could be an appropriate thread for my issue:

I dont get the patch of doom but as I sit all day work in an office, I am mostly seated. I find if I wear work trousers, yknow the kind like school trousers, I get moist and it smells :( Any suggestions on how to resolve this embarrassing issue?

This reminds me of when we were on hols earlier this year in Spain. I'd just had a very hot sweaty walk in 35 degrees C or thereabouts, we were invited on our way home (so no chance to freshen up) to a family friends apartment. Beautifully done up inside, with gorgeous and pristine fabric armchairs, one of which I was told to sit on while given a coffee. Got up to go after a nice chat and coffee, glanced back at my chair to see if I'd left anything, and yes, by the looks of the diamond shaped damp patch the minge drip was in full force, no mist for me. Mortifying. I am sure they would have noticed.

I had no idea. Now paranoid.

I blame Donald Trump!

The Chuff Cloud?!

I thought it was only me. Thank God for that.

Anyone?

YES!

Thank you all. Thank you it's so nice to have found my beaver breath buddies.

This happens to me. And has done since high school. I too have developed the twist and slide over the years.

Mortificado sounds like a Harry Potter spell

I've left patches on a plastic chair & I usually just say, blimey the seat's wet.
I never realised I should be mortificado! But I'll probably be more self conscious from now on

I just thought it was sweat.