Fanny condensation

[ClopySow]

On plastic chairs. Just me?

Please tell me it's not just me. It happened tonight at school parents meeting. Stood up after a nice chat with the maths teacher and there is it, the diamond shaped condensation patch of doom.

I nearly name changed because i am very embarrassed, but fuck it.

Red hot poker?

Javelin Arse

monkeyI hate that!! I sometimes get itchy cheeks in trousers tho.
clopy you are my hero!

Lots of shoe shops have those black vinyl seating cubes, I've perfected the art of only sitting sideways with one cheek on the seat. I look mad.

Javelin Arse that was it. I think I would prefer condensation .

Thank god I'm not the only one.I'm a very sweaty person and it is a constant worry.

Yep, it's a thing. Cheers for the sideways slide tip.

I'm 25, mother of two, 5ft1 and weigh 8st and I get this.
It's only because that is the hottest place on our bodies. And I bet you all like me sit with your legs clamped shut and don't shift in your seats much. I'd like to say it's because I'm a lady but I swear like a sailor and belch like one too.
Oh and ladies it gets worse during different times of the month.

Second time I've said this but this so belongs in classics!!
So glad I've had both my parents evenings this week, out of the way for another year, enough time to absolutely perfect the twist and slide.
At ds's last night I had a bloody huge scarf and sat on it at every opportunity, sometimes there were other parents hovering behind waiting for the same teacher so no time to check, the things we go through.... I finally feel part of the gang

Itchy school cheeks! I'd forgotten all about that! Wool tights were the culprit for that. I used to like a stool at the back of the room

Oh thank God it's not just me, I had the horror of an physio appointment so thought it's my knee I'll wear a skirt (easy access to the offending knee and no shame full dropping of the trousers to reveal the muffin top) anyway after being made to do what could only be described as a gymnastic act with my knee I sat down had a chat, when it came to leave i stood up and notice the patch in such a rush to hide the offending patch I pushed the chair in but caught my other leg in the chair in turn falling over with my legs in the air revealing everything!!! Including the patch on the chair..#ifonlyiknew #horrified

DH just asked what I was laughing at (heard from other end of house over hairdryer so must've been a proper guffaw!) so I explained the misty phenomenon. Apparently it's not just a lady problem! Clammy crotch?
Ps will now be employing the slide wipe wherever I go! Love this thread.

Pollyanna My ex BF used to encourage his new g/f to not wear pants and very very short skirts so you could see the no pants. So whenever she sat down on a seat in the club her fanny was making direct contact with the seat.

Consequently she was knicknamed 'snail trail' and people used to fight over NOT siting in her recently vacated seat

Oh gawd I won't be able to sit on a plastic chair now without thinking someone else's fanny sweat is on it! Puke.

You need to put a warning on the thread title. I had a baby 2 weeks ago and nearly burst stitches laughing out loud at this!!! Thanks ladies, just what I needed!!! Please continue!!!

OMG .. Beyoncé is ONE. OF. US!!!

This thread has had me crying with laughter, which is much needed at the moment! Am also very glad it's not just me (lots of rehearsals in school halls etc. with awful plastic chairs have necessitated the twist and slide).

Hmm. Just saw this thread on Facebook linked from the unmumsy mum page. Not sure how I feel about that. It's basically the same as when the daily hate mail steal threads for their website.

Oh mummysue24...you have had me in stitches

Oh my, this is up there with the penis beaker 😂
I've noticed it a few times in my life, but now I have a small human being my dignity has fled. I'm more concerned about not covering myself with baby sick...

Gosh I remember spotting this once in high school. The biggest bitch in my year (who was quite a small chunky person) used to wear very short skirts. She got up one day from a plastic chair beside me and I saw her trying to surreptitiously wipe away the wet mark.

I can still feel the schadenfreude.

Rachel that's javelin arse I think?

i thought it was just me! Thanks for the reassurance :-)

I'm so relieved to read this. I thought it was because I have a rather portly arse.

Just told my DH about this thread and he has kindly named it fu fu fog! 😂😂😂