Fanny condensation

[ClopySow]

On plastic chairs. Just me?

Please tell me it's not just me. It happened tonight at school parents meeting. Stood up after a nice chat with the maths teacher and there is it, the diamond shaped condensation patch of doom.

I nearly name changed because i am very embarrassed, but fuck it.

I always thought it was just me! I thought I must be built funny...

First noticed it as a teenager when my Dad gave me a lift on his beloved motorbike. When I hopped off, there it was - the certified moist muff kitemark. We both stared at it for a second too long, then I did an awkward half-arsed wipe with my sleeve, and he kind of harrumphed and wheeled the bike into the garage. Probably so he could Swarfega the seat.

Ah fellow minge misters!

My crotch area sweats like mount Vesuvius.

My fiend who is a doctor says that the crotch/vagina area has as many sweat glands as an armpit...so I feel better and it must be true.

As someone else has said, the pantyliner is your friend. I wear one every morning, not for secretions, just to help mop up the pure sweat....they have been a game changer...

Omg I'm so glad I've found this thread! This happens to me!! Always at school on those stupid plastic chairs! Thought I was the only one! Phew!!! I always shift about in my chair and edge myself to the edge before I know I'm going to get up in the hope to wipe it away if I cannot sit on a coat, cardi or other accessory lol I shall be trying the slide way to see if it works better.
Minge most love it!!!

It's never happened to me as far as I know....

Pantyliners are definitely NOT my friend. I have to wear a pad everyday for leakinesssorry I mean "irritable bladder". I still get the stain of shame.

Quite a few if these (including my own).
would be great drag names

Minge Mist would be v glamorous

Fancy Condensation more scary

*Fanny

This is the best thread in ages and definitely needs to be moved to Classics.

I've had tears running down my face

I too suffer from a misty minge. I get the dread come over me when I'm at the hairdressers and know it's nearly time to get up. I am so glad the chair slide move has been shared.

And yes, yes to rusty brown gussets in my black pants. This has come up several times with friends and I think I remember a thread on here about it. I always make sure the gusset is turned inwards when hanging out my knickers.

This is the best thread ever DH keeps asking "what are you laughing at" I am in tears.
I got to the "bleachy crotch" bit and had to stop

Yes! Yes! Yes! I get this all the time. It once happened once on a Disney World coach. I stood up, a triangle of sweat was left behind. A small boy pointed at it and his dad told him not to sit down! 😳

I suffer from a sweating fanny, diamond of shame and bleatchy black pants. I use antiperspirant spray and panty liners to avoid BO BUM thank you for this thread

Yes Russet Gusset! I'm amongst friends.

Yep happened to me at work in hospital, sat down, was boiling hot as I'd been rushing around. Senior member of staff came in and I was sat on her chair I got up to let her sit down and there was a huge long streak of ass sweat on the chair. We both looked at the chair then at each other. I prayed that it would evaporate almost instantly like when you breathe on a window or mirror but no it just stayed there. I was mortified

Yes, yes, yes to the bloody Disney buses! I appeared to be marking my territory on every journey. There was a lot of full arse prints from other passengers though, so I was practically pointing my neat little damp diamond out.

Fancy condensation is my favourite mistake so far pussypatches

It is after all rather a fancy type of condensation.

OMG I was reading this thread with TV on in the background and on the advert break of 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown was a product called Below The Belt - male grooming to avoid sweaty balls!!

No mention of a female equivalent.

Omg, I've never had this, and I'm genuinely shocked. I mean,,,really? Wtf?

I think we're not allowed to talk about womens hygiene in real life fromibiza unless it's using strange blue liquid. We're supposed to pretend that women are perfect and clean. Unless we're saying they're dirty and smelly and smell like fish. I suppose that's the reason we're all so fucking relieved at this thread. Men with sweaty balls - grrrr manly. Women with sweaty fannies - ew dirty.

Below The Belt web page.
Products are called "Fresh and Dry Balls" and "Instant Clean Balls" and the tagline is "Your balls are safe in our hands"

I'm sure this thread would provide some great inspiration for any product designers/advertising execs looking for names and taglines for the female version

Yes I saw that male bollock grooming advert! In the 20s/30s well to do gentleman's butler would talc their nuts before helping them put their pants on. It's attempting to be the modern equivalent of that!

Oh the old fanny condensation 😞Sit on coat/cardigan/scarf. Jobs a goodun 👍

Maybe something like this would help?
www.facebook.com/TMSmediaUSA/videos/1106669809448630/
Or would that trap the condensation making the crotch like a swimming pool?
I'm thinking a quick spray of the plastic seat before sitting down may do the trick.

If they made special foof talc for this it could be called 'Diamond Dust.'

Or Beaver Breath Be-Gone!

God I get this as well, theres far too much polyester in the world today :(
But I'm glad to know I'm not alone, and when i win the lottery Ill wear Cotton trousers all the time just kidding, ill be in a bikini in the caribbean