Fanny condensation

[ClopySow]

On plastic chairs. Just me?

Please tell me it's not just me. It happened tonight at school parents meeting. Stood up after a nice chat with the maths teacher and there is it, the diamond shaped condensation patch of doom.

I nearly name changed because i am very embarrassed, but fuck it.

Fanny Condensation is a great name for a strong female protagonist.

I thought it was just me

.... fart around leaving their seat.....
Don't tell me you literally do this to dry the seat off looks around for pearls to clutch

I'm taking a cushion with me in future!

I spent a few years working on supermarket checkouts, the combination of nylon uniform and checkout seat used to be delightful on warm days. One lady I worked with was well known for leaving behind a squelchy chair ... to the point that you'd have to slip a carrier bag over it so that you didn't drown during your shift!

Shotsfired

I practically do the full length version of Chubby Checker's Twist on getting out of any car which is non-fabric seats now

Wheezy laughed at that

Fanny Condensation is indeed a great female protaganist. I'm considering a name change. Do i own the rights?

Yes! Since my school days when I called it wet widgy. While we're on the subject of minges of mayhem does anyone suffer a bleachy crotch? Don't pretend you don't have knickers in your drawers where the gusset is slowly changing colour. :o

No comment Fallowfield.

Fluffycloud

Antiperspirant for your foof?

Start talking lady

Fallowfield - yes I have a toxic fanny that bleaches my knickers

Thankfully I've been on Mumsnet long enough to have seen this issue before

Yes fallow

Fanny bleach is a thing. Fleach? All my black knickers have an orangey yellow bleached bit. What the fuck is this hot air bleach dispensing machine between my legs?

I'm so relieved it's not just me! I too have the twist and slide down to a tee. It's even worse in the summer, so on holiday I tend to wear a light pad and that collects I mean stops it!
Top tip if you have an important meeting etc just wear a pad and no diamond or stripe of doom!
Thank you Clopy for making us realise we are not alone. I shall be looking out for fellow twist and sliders from now on....... 😂😂

Clopy have you heard of Odaban? I even apply it to my forehead (with cotton wool) I use it between my thighs. It really helps.

Fallow I'm crying 😂
I too have bleached many a pair of black cotton knickers. OH asked about it just the other day and I'm sure he's now convinced I'm going to bleach his knob next time we dtd

OP, I also get fanny condensation, so glad it's not just me!

Yes, my dark coloured knickers are all bleached in the crotch. The mysterious powers of the minge. Makes me embarrassed to hang them out to dry tbh.

I have heard of odaban, but i thought it was just for your oxters.

I'm googling it now.

Yeah I don't hang my bleachy crotched knickers out. No way no how. My neighbour would definitely judge me. Mind you she doesn't hang any washing out despite being something of a lentil weaver. :o

This is it Clopy. www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/B001O1M6II/ref=mp_s_a_1_1_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1478716447&sr=8-1&keywords=odaban&pi=SY200_QL40

Fleach?!

I first had this when I was about 7 - on a sticky plastic faux leather chair on a very hot day - my mum accused me of having a small 'accident' - it still bugs me to this day >:-

I am a sweaty betty down below, but I worry if I deodorise it will just leak out somewhere else. The sweat, I mean.
What's worse though, sweaty crotch or sweaty face/belly/other body part?

There is worse than this fanny condensation though (apparently).

Ex MIL advised that back in the 70s when she was beautiful, slim and wearing very short 70s style mini skirts and dresses (sans pants) she once got up off the chair in the waiting room of the Drs and there was - er, fanny juices on the chair!!!

Oh my God, can you imagine?!!!!

I could never go knickerless and have that happen!

I wonder if the bleaching thing is some kind of disinfection process for cocks? But it's never been documented and it's purpose remain unknown?

Never heard anything of the sort don't people wear pantyliners?!

Is it groin sweat or vaginal secretions?

It's neither. It's just condensation that happens when there's an enclosed space twixt hot body and cold seat