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Original poster

Penetration man

1000 replies

Cameron2012 · 21/08/2016 20:44

So I went out with a man many years ago who was very kind, interesting handsome, drove a lovely car and was very popular. But, I ended the relationship because he seemed to think whispering ' penetration' in my ear was sexy.
I also finished with a bloke because he had thick blond hair on his arms.
Now I know that means at the time I was very shallow, so ... What is the shallowest reason you have ever had to finish a relationship ?
😬

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
exWifebeginsat40 · 21/08/2016 22:03

he cried after sex and said sorry. BYE THEN.

also someone who shaved his beard off on Christmas Eve to annoy me. the prick.

WannaBeDifferent · 21/08/2016 22:03

One lovely guy , treated me with respect , attentive , good conversation etc , brought his ironing round mine one Sunday as he always ironed on a Sunday evening but couldn't bear not to see me.

WorraLiberty · 21/08/2016 22:04

I once dumped a guy because whenever he was happy about something, he'd say "Yaaaaay!" and do a little shoulder shimmy.

I can't really explain it on here but imagine his two hands out in front of him (like he's holding a book), then he'd bring his elbows into his ribs and the shimmying would commence.

"Oh, this pub sells your favourite lager" - 'Yaaaay! -

"It's going to be sunny tomorrow" - 'Yaaaay! -

It was like dating Christopher fucking Biggins Hmm

Million2One · 21/08/2016 22:04

Ex No. 2 fucking MEWED during sex. Huge turn-off. And this was before George Galloway...

I am so, so glad that I have NO idea what the George Galloway reference is. Shock Hmm Shock

LastGirlOnTheLeft · 21/08/2016 22:04

Brown eyes!!! I just love blue eyes on a man and the brown eyes that I was meant to look into all the time just killed any feelings I had for him.

I married my tall, dark, blue-eyed guy....!!!!!

PunkrockerGirl · 21/08/2016 22:05

Yeh, I went out with a Mr Pencil Willy Man too. It was weird, especially as in his mind dreams he was a Mr Very Long Extra Wide Sausage Man Grin
He didn't last long, in every sense Wink

Original poster
Cameron2012 · 21/08/2016 22:05

Oh shit, I've just remembered the one with the enormous penis that thought it was hilarious the whack me round the head with it when I was watching television

OP posts:
Ledkr · 21/08/2016 22:05

This will out me but fuck it.

I went out with a guy I was mad about but then he came to stay at my house for a good old dirty weekend but he bought his SLIPPERS!!
He also wore generic trainers and the worst thing HE PUT AN ASDA CARRIER BAG IN HIS HEAD TO SHOWER!!!!
DUmped!

moomoogalicious · 21/08/2016 22:05

Cleaned his teeth before sex.

Had the same name as me.

Had 'ten to two' feet.

Wore a t shirt in bed.

Wore loafers

CalmItKermitt · 21/08/2016 22:05

ProseccoBitch - ooh I had one like that once! Wide at the base but tapering. Oddly enough it left me in excruciating pain even though I've had bigger, thicker, longer etc.... must be something about the shape!!

treaclesoda · 21/08/2016 22:06

let me help with that milllion2one Grin

here

Original poster
Cameron2012 · 21/08/2016 22:06

I should write a book

OP posts:
horseygeorgie1 · 21/08/2016 22:06

God why do we bother!

Mine was a very gorgeous 31 (to my 18) year old Portuguese man. He was heaven. Unfortunately he turned up to date 4 in pink cords. He used to put whisky in the freezer and microwaved bread with grated cheese on. The crunch point was when he serenaded me (badly) in the middle of a busy city on a Saturday night out. He was awful in bed too.

I did dump one for having a teeny willy. Put me off for years and I did feel bad for him actually. I think it wasn't so much the fact it was small, just he didn't do ANYTHING else! Didn't go near my top half at all or anything. My current isn't the hugest but by God, he is good in the sack! Because he actually has more than one string to his bow.

I had a silent man as well, it was creepy AF. I couldn't tell when he had come either. I do like to know if they are enjoying themselves!

flanjabelle · 21/08/2016 22:06

I slept with a man with the biggest penis i have ever seen. It was over 10 inches erect and as wide as a coke can. It wasnt actually the penis that put me off though, it was his sheer desperation. I think so many women had turned him down because of his wang that he had become incredibly clingy and needy. It was so unattractive.

talksensetome · 21/08/2016 22:06

Was seeing a guy for awhile but his breathing really got one nerves. It was so loud and wet.

UnderTheGreenwoodTree · 21/08/2016 22:07

Had the same name as me.

Grin Grin No, that would be bad. Grin

Pollyanna9 · 21/08/2016 22:08

OMG I am peeing myself laughing. You guys on here are the best I tell ya, the best.

I too cannot stand that white saliva collection at the corners of the mouth - vomit inducing.

I went out with a superfit fireman once. He made NO noise at all during sex and just lay there with his eyes closed. I slapped him around a bit to try and get an audible reaction but - nothing. Despite his washboard abs I had to end it.

Went on a date with a guy once, decided to do the deed. He came within seconds and it was no great shakes. He used the excuse 'I was at a conference yesterday!' as his excuse for coming so quick!!! Must have been some conference.

worldsworstchildren · 21/08/2016 22:08

x2 I had one of those too. They were electric blue. He wore boxers most of the time but even so. When we split up I did him a favou and told him to ditch themSmile

treaclesoda · 21/08/2016 22:08

flanjabelle did you go out with Jimi Hendrix ? Shock Grin

Nataleejah · 21/08/2016 22:09

Went to watch a WW2 film. He thought it was sci-fi...

Original poster
Cameron2012 · 21/08/2016 22:10

I was at a conference yesturday 😂

OP posts:
StrangeLookingParasite · 21/08/2016 22:13

One used to look at me with what I think was supposed to be a look of passion but looked more like constipation then say "kiss me". I called him 'wet Kevin'. Ugh.

WannaBeDifferent · 21/08/2016 22:13

Yes to cone shaped willy being painful.

Also went out with a guy who's willy hadn't really 'developed' iyswim . It was tiny and he couldn't get an erection . I persevered but to no avail !

What is the etiquette with regards to no erection ? Is there a time limit ? What do you say ??

unlucky83 · 21/08/2016 22:14

He used to insist on 'helping' me cross the road ...holding my hand and telling me when it was safe to go ....
He used to fold/hang his clothes when he took them off - always. It became a silly mental game of mine to get him so inflamed with desire he would forget - close but he never did...I lost interest in the game...yawn.
Absolute final straw was his football team was relegated - he was devastated, came round to mine - I discovered for comforting. He moaned about it for hours, it was the end of the world and cried in my arms ...I was rolling my eyes over his shoulder...

Funko · 21/08/2016 22:15

One who was slightly obsessed with doing it doggy style and would also giggle like a little boy when he came 😁

And would jump straight up to go the bathroom.

He was soooo hot though and delightful and fun company but very off putting!

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