My feed

to access all these features

This forum is the home of Mumsnet classic threads.

MNHQ have commented on this thread

Mumsnet classics

Post - wedding message ... please help me, what the hell do I say??

1019 replies

Puzzledandpissedoff · 06/05/2016 12:28

I recently attended an ex-colleague's wedding where, in response to a request for cash gifts, I sent what I thought was a pretty decent cheque (£100 if it matters, though I can't help feeling it shouldn't)

Last night I received an email which opened with a few comments about how glad they were to see everybody and how generous they'd all been, then said "we were surprised that your contribution didn't seem to match the warmth of your good wishes on our big day. In view of your own position, if you wanted to send any adjustment it would be thankfully received"

For someone who's not easily shocked I confess I'm utterly gobsmacked by this. So as not to drip feed I'll mention that "your own position" probably refers to a recent inheritance I've had, which maybe they expected something from (and this is an ex-colleague, remember, not a close friend or relative)

Please, anyone, what do I do now? I've never come across anything like this before and still can't quite believe they've done it - but since they have, should I reply, ring them, ignore it or what??

OP posts:
Mrsmorton · 06/05/2016 12:29

Tell them to get to fuck and drop them from your phone book. Ungrateful twats.

January87 · 06/05/2016 12:29

I would not justify it with a reply. Fucking hell how rude.

Mrsmorton · 06/05/2016 12:29

Or just ignore them. Probably more grown up...

OrangePeels · 06/05/2016 12:30

Shock did they even say thank you? Wtaf? Tell them to scrap the cheque and you'll send a replacement more befitting. Then send them 10p.

bearhug · 06/05/2016 12:30

is it too late to cancel the cheque you gave them?

pinkpeter1 · 06/05/2016 12:31

Cancel the Cheque, then post their email on facebook

LifeIsChaos · 06/05/2016 12:31

Shock I'd reply something along the lines of 'if our gift to you offended you in someway, please feel free to return it'

Cheeky cow!

DrE678 · 06/05/2016 12:31

My adjustment would be cancelling the cheque! Cheeky bastards! Did they cash the cheque yet?

Thegirlinthetrousers · 06/05/2016 12:31

That's incredible! Personally your adjustment should be to cancel the cheque..though I guess it's been cashed !

CMOTDibbler · 06/05/2016 12:31

I'd cancel the cheque and tell them to fottfsof. Twats.

edwinbear · 06/05/2016 12:31

I would also cancel the cheque if possible, ignore and delete them.

LifeIsChaos · 06/05/2016 12:31

And yes cancel the cheque if you can

JuneBuggy · 06/05/2016 12:32

I like OrangePeels suggestion. You could include a handmade pamphlet on manners too.

YANBU, they are and fucking rude too

Brainwashed · 06/05/2016 12:32

If they hadn't already cashed your very generous cheque I'd be stopping it ...

Lemonade1 · 06/05/2016 12:32

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Lweji · 06/05/2016 12:32

""I am surprised that my contribution didn't seem to match your expectations. In view of the rudeness of your post-wedding request, if you want to send me back my gift, it would be thankfully received"

Rosa · 06/05/2016 12:32

from ex colleague to ex friend in one easy move ... Simple. it is very rude, unreasonable . and even if you had given them a fiver they should be grateful.

momb · 06/05/2016 12:32

Whatever the circumstance that is very rude.

As to whether or not the gift was appropriate: did you bowl up with a partner and 6 children and proceed to demolish the buffet and free bar? No? Then £100 is a generous gift to an ex-colleague.

shinynewusername · 06/05/2016 12:32

OMFG. That is extraordinary. I would cancel the cheque if not too late, donate the £100 to charity and send them a screenshot of the donation.

RandomMess · 06/05/2016 12:32
Groovee · 06/05/2016 12:32

Bloody hell, that has to be the most entitled wedding thing I've ever seen!

I'd be replying asking why was £100 not enough? Greedy feckers!

Elledouble · 06/05/2016 12:32


Yes, cancel the cheque and say "good idea!".

BeaArthursUnderpants · 06/05/2016 12:32

I find this difficult to believe.

TheHiphopopotamus · 06/05/2016 12:33

That is so rude!

I agree with everyone else, I'd cancel the cheque. And then send a big fuck you email back.

FadedRed · 06/05/2016 12:34

What OrangePeels said ^^ although I think 10p is too generous.
Ask them to return your cheque and then give the money to a charity of your choice and send them the receipt.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is not accepting new messages.